Vaginal soreness - serious question, ladies only please.?

Sex is so painful it is almost unbearable. This is a huge problem because my husband and I want to start a family soon and I cannot have sex more than once a week because of the pain. I have been to a few doctors, I have been swabbed for thrush many times - negative, herpes - negative and even been given creams for dermatitis, nothing has worked. I look normal down there but after sex I am red swollen and in pain for hours after, then I become irritated and itchy for days. I have done a bit of research on the net and I think it might have something to do with my Bartholin glands/vulvodynia? I can鈥檛 produce lubrication when I am aroused (I can easily climax with foreplay etc with my husband but will still be dry). Sex is still painful when we use lubricating creams. Unfortunately I live in a remote community and there is no gynaecologist here or even a female doctor, I would love to hear any advice anyone might have?

We regularly use KY and have experimented with a few others but same outcome. Allerigic to my hubby? I have considered this but I get the same pain when using condoms and I would have thought I would have reactions on other parts of my body after intimate contact.

have you tried lubrication vaginal inserts? Also you need hormone level tests ( blood tests ) this is a problem worth traveling to a major city and seeing a fertility specialist obgyn

It could be because of first sex, if it is your first time. Here, this is from a website I checked out.

"First of all I can tell you that this is a very common 鈥渇irst sex issue鈥?
There are many possible causes of your vaginal irritation.
First that crossed my mind is some trivial bacterial infection and if this is your problem, it can be easy treated with local antibiotic in a shape of pills called vaginaletts.
The other cause is rear but possible and that is that you could be allergic on condom gum. I know that this sounds funny but it鈥檚 present.
If this is the cause your boyfriend should seek for a special condoms in drugstore made of gum with small allergic possibility and your problems will be solved.
What ever is the cause-it is easy treated.
I wish you luck!"

Experiment with different types of lubrication gels and creams. If there not a lot of sex toy shops where you live, you can find all types of lubricants online. Perhaps it is because you are not fully aroused and it is normal because there are people that take up to an hour to start getting aroused. Maybe your husband and you should experiment a little with different types of foreplay, massages, relaxing, and extra lubrication (From my human sexuality class poll, guys like it nice and messy....). Maybe you can talk a warm bath afterwards to help with easing the pain and you can clean up at the same time.
Also if it become pain really becomes serious, I would advise you to seek fertility doctors in a nearby city that can perform artificial insemination or something to aid in your getting pregnant.

What lubes have you tried:
AstroGlide
KY-Jelly
??

Also, have you considered that you are allergic to your husband?