I miss my Mum.?

I dont like using the word dead or died because it makes me sad. My mum..left us when I was eight. It was cancer that made her ill. I am 14 now but miss her alot. I need her right now. I live with my dad and 3 brothers. I feel really bad because she was cremated, i didn't want her cremated (even though she wanted to be.) and i didnt want her scattered (we scattered her ashes outside in the garden at the church, i wanted her kept in one place) but i guess i was too young for my voice to be heard. I need her right now. I used to cut and I have eating disorder tendencies. I have ran away once but was persuaded to come back. I wish I could die, so i try starving but end up giving in to temptation, i cut but i am scared of the pain. I just want to go outside at night and raped and battered and killed because I feel like i deserve it and that i wouldnt take the blame if i died. I am crying right now. ugh can somebody help me

Also, a girl two doors away keeps telling me to f*** my dead mum and says 'haha your mum is dead' and 'your mum is in the ground in hell'.. help

I do feel so bad for you. I am a grownup and my Mom died 8 years ago, trust me when I tell you it will get easier.

You need to find an adult female you can bond with. Try to get involved in sports to help fill your time.

Hurting yourself would not make her happy at all. Talk to her anytime you want, she can hear you from heaven. Share your problems with her and she will help guide your life. Only her body is not present, her soul and guidance are with you always. I still talk to my Mom, it is really very helpful. It helped me get through her passing. I too am an only daughter.

Are your Grandmothers near you, please talk with them. At least one of them will be happy to be supportive and helpful.

Just remember Your Mom is listening and watching over you every day, even though you cannot see her. Watch for birds or pennies or repetitive things happening, this is how they reach out to let you know they are still around.

A couple months ago I needed my Mom a lot and on this one day in several different towns and places I found 5 New shiny pennies. This let me know she was there. It makes me happy to know she is still watching over me and my family.

Do the same, it will help bring peace to your life. Pray when you feel the need to hurt yourself. Talk to God and talk to your Mother. She will help you.

God Bless and take care.

I am so sorry for you loss. Believe me even at a much older age--I am 65--I miss my Mom too and she was old when she died of natural causes.
I would seriously suggest you talk with a counselor: someone at school, a therapist, a psychologist or psychiatrist. You are taking on some bad ideas and behaviors over her death. You have never been allowed to adequately grieve for her. Remember, there is NO time limit to grieving.You are in a home with all males and males do their grieving differently from females.

Do you have a special teacher at school with whom you could talk? An adult friend at church? You need to find a female who can help you with some of the feelings you are having right now. I used to have different "Mothers" who were actually very good adult friends when I was in high school (grades 9-12). I felt much better talking and being with them than with my own Mom. In fact, one of them was most responsible for my becoming a nurse.

Please find help NOW. Please quit harming yourself with starvation, cutting, wanting to die, wishing something dreadful for yourself. I know you don't know me but I care deeply for you and would visit if I could. Please seriously consider what I have said here.

i no how that is, my mom died 1 year ago from kidney failure,im 15 and theres nothing you can do. dont worry , dont kill yourself, i know its hard but all u can do is live on ur own life. my mom is cremated too. i dont beleive in heaven or hell but when your sad its nice to just talk to her. just talk to her even if shes not literally next to you. im sure somehow she knows, and if she was with you now what do u think she would think of you running away and cutting ur self. stop doing all that and just spend some good times with your friends and that girl down the street and go to hell, shes never lost anyone in her life im sure so ur just more experienced then her. tell ur dad about that girl and im sure he'll do something about it. ignor her too cuz all shes trying to do is get a rise out of you. it'll be ok i promise

omg i am so sorry for you! you should try to talk to an aunt or someone you trust, just tell them how you feel because you shouldn't have to go it alone! and definitely shouldn't harm yourself!! try and think happy, anything happy you can! i'm so sorry you're crying, if i could give you a hug i would (not a creep...i'm 14 yr old girl) but for now a virtual hug will have to do. You don't deserve this! you seem like a nice person trying to deal with a terrible loss and i feel terrible you are going through this! Feel better. You can email me anytime if you want. sailingstripes@yahoo.com

10Although my father and my mother have forsaken me, yet the Lord will take me up [adopt me as His child].(A)(Psalm 27:10 )
The lord loves you sweetheart
and even though your mom did not abandon you in that way
the pain is still the same and God knows that
let him in your heart he want to heal every e\area in your life
give him a chance you will never regret it
Get your brothers involved in Reading the Bible
and agree together as a family to make it thought this hard time

God bless you and keep you
remember God will take you
and comfort you

that is very sad. but i remember when my cousin's (she's like a sister to me) father left her. Her mother turned into an alcoholic and she contemplated suicide. But then she remembered she had people who loved her out there who didn't want ehr to be dead.
My friend's mom and younger brother recently died. She says the reason she keeps going and getting up in the morning is because she doesn't want to disappoint them in heaven.

omg this is so sad :( and its so heart breaking. i use to cut and have an eating disorder and im 14 too. all u need is someone who really cares for you. a real friend :) i would totally be it for you. im sorry. this is so sad. well if u want to let it out u can always tell me. hope u feel better