What is the cure for extreme low self esteem that youve had all your life?

the type of low self esteem where you cant even bare to hear your own voice when you talk?- where you dont feel worthy or good enough for anyone- or worthy of a healthy relationship?

ive never made any friends ever or never been in a relationship with a girl.
ive aged physically prematurly

im 30 with borderline personality disorder....ive been bullied, abused, victimized most of my life

sometimes i look in the mirror at my bald head...aging face....tanned skin with deep blue saphire eyes... my two missing teeth.....bottom row at the front..

and i cant stand the way i look

You've got to continue with therapy and work from the inside out.

1) Gain knowledge on your condition

2)Look at your past and use it to understand yourself

3)Look at how others treat you and how you can act to get them to treat you well

4)continue therapy as a means of social support and learning

5)take steps daily that will go towards what you want

6) Believe in yourself even believe that esteem will increase

Keep learning and improving. somehow you will get where you want to go to. Keep trying and the rest is up to fate.

You put in the effort you can and fate will take controll of what can't be controlled. But you must work on what can be worked on.

You might want to start with some counseling to help heal wounds from the past.
You have to start the change for the better with from in. Find something you like about yourself. Write a list of what you don't like and try to change it in a way you will like. Take it one step at a time.
Maybe try to go to a motivational class.
You have to love yourself before someone else will love you.
You need to stay positive and things will change for the better before you know it.

first of all go see a dentist and get your looks back . A smile works wonders especially if you have teeth. join a gym ,get some confidence in the way you look ,exercises will help boost your feelings of life . It may not seem much but its a start . If you can write about your feelings then that is a great start to having confidence in your self

I think the cure would be to stand up to those feelings which are telling you negative things about yourself.

Instead of allowing them or agreeing with them, say no to them. When a negative thought or feeling comes along, do not allow it ... replace it with a positive one.

It is like a battle for survival. If you allow the negativity to dominate, you will be lost.

People have hurt you, that is a fact, but if you allow negative thoughts and feelings that you are unworthy, then you are allowing yourself to hurt you.

Stand up for yourself -- don't let those people, who made you think you were no good, win.

read Max Ehrmann's, "Desiderata"
http://hobbes.ncsa.uiuc.edu/desiderata.h...

here is an excerpt:

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.


--

We largely feel the way we think. Getting insight into the messages you tell yourself and making adjustments to your personal life philosophy may be the key to feeling better about yourself. To learn more about this idea, read 'A Guide To Rational Living' by Albert Ellis.

u are not ugly , if u are trying to say u are. beauty come with in. looks are not important, only your personalty , i understand u don't like being bald , but there alot of girl would like guy who are bald, they find it very sexy. love yourself , and once u do , people will Love u . to make u feel better , i know u are handsome , u are unique person , and u are intelligent , i don't need to see u to know how u look ,because i believe everyone is pretty in my book, there is no such thing is ugly.

I am 45. I to have been teased and put down all through life. when my husband left me, he said it was becouse I was not atractive, that I was fat. 5"2 148lbs. and that I was old. He is 46 and he moved in with a 20yr old. I sought help and this is what I was told.
Every day when u wake up look at yourself in the mirrow. Then look away and alow your mind to go through all those negative things so you can get those thoughts out of the way. Then look back in the mirrow tell yourself. I am a human being, I have feelings, I am worthy, I am a child of God and that makes me important. God is the king of kings. And since u r a son of God that makes you a PRINCE. And as a prince you must hold your head high and show those beutifull eyes Even if you have to pretend at firs be proud of your baldness to the world. Stand up strait with your sholders back and demand the respect you deserve. It is hard at first I know becouse it is what I am still working on but every time you do this, it gets better and every time I stand up for myselfe it makes me feel good about my self. If u r like me I don't want to make anyone mad for anyreason. But think of this. If someone is not giving u the respect u deserve then they don't care about how u feel. Why should u care if they get a little peeved at you for standing up for your self. And if it is the same groop of people or just one person that is putting you down. Standing up to them will give them a diffrent view of who you r and they may even begin to respect u just becouse you do stand for yourselfe.
Oh before i go. I think baldness is realy hot on an a man. it realy is sexy. so be proud of it and show it off I know im not the only female that feels this way.

You are probably a beautiful person who just cannot get past this internal issues. Please go to counseling and start doing some work on you self. Even little things will show on the outside. You most set off a bad vibe because of this issue. Try some of the following:

Work out - get physical (will make brain chemicals positive)
See a good dentist (if you don't have coverage borrow or get a loan - you will be happy you did)
Go for a massage and buy your self something nice that is flattering on you...even if it is a tee shirt.
Get into a hobby...do you like sports? Get involved...

You seem like a wonderful caring person ...who really wants to feel better. God Bless you.