How do I break up with someone that is prone to violence?

She has had a history of violence and suicide attempts. I dont want to be thhe underlining issue to her harming hreself but she is making my life a living hell with all the stress she creates. Help me please!

Breaking up with someone is never an easy thing. The bottom line is that you're not happy in this relationship. You are responsible for YOU and not her. You cannot go through life wondering if you are going to cause her to do some stupid that could effect her life forever. We are all born with our own minds.

If you must break up with her, you need to sit down with her and tell her the truth. She needs to hear that you are unable to deal with the stress that this relationship has caused you and that you are not willing to stay in this relationship any longer. Tell her that the relationship is no longer a healthy one and that it is starting to pull on you mentally and physically. Let her know that the violence and the suicide attempts are clear indications that she needs to seek some professional help to get her through whatever it is she's going through, but that you are no longer capable of helping her through this.

The key point to remember is make sure she understands that you are NOT responsible for her actions and that she really needs to seek help for her issues.

Tell her that you are sorry that it has come to this, but you want to see the best for her and the best is not staying in this unhealthy relationship. Give her a goodbye hug (if she lets you) and walk away.

A birthday card?

No, just kidding...just make it seem like it is you who has the issues and need time to figure things out. Or tell her straight up, it is not your fault that she is like this.

Either way, after you are done watch My Super Ex-Girlfriend on DVD...considering your situation it should really make you laugh...and it sounds like you need it.

By phone and then take out a restraining order on her

just be honest if she threatens suicide then that is between her and God tell her so. what kind of relationship can you build on guilt?

You do it quickly and seriously. Amputation is not to be done in inches. Tell her you cannot handle the situation. Period. You are not responsible for her reactions.

Tell someone else about the suicide attempts (one of her relatives) and let her people handle it. I had this problemn once. the sooner you are rid of her the better off you will be but it is considerate of you to be concerned for her safety. Lots of people use these so-called attempts to get attention and they are very often just staged. Either way, good for you for not letting yourself be dragged down any more!

Well, I had to throw someone out of my life, not a boyfriend, but a friend who really was starting to stalk me, and had an autistic brother and may have had undiagnosed disabilities himself.
I had so much mercy on him for so long, you know? But I cut off that stalking QUICK!
With:
You need to go for professional help. I can go with you, but I can't make the appointment. I can be your friend onyl if you stop with the romance thing and GO GET HELP.
But YOU are responsible for this mess in your life, this mess you're creating in others' lives.
Don't call me until you go for help.
I ran into him through a mutual friend about twice before I met him at his psychiatrist's office. But the doc wouldn't let me in. And of course, he just complained of some other nonsense, so he told hte mutual friend.
I never accepted a call from or saw him again.
Then he started to stalk the mutual friend, at her job, even, until I got info from the cops as to what she had to do before they could enforce a restraining order.
And who knows if he got help?
We don't.
Not that we don't care.
But he's 28, his parents know the deal, he lives with them, and we think through a 4th party that he's doing a bit better. Why? Because he stopped calling her so much to get to us... and he's got med insurance again.
We assuage our guilt and move on.
I hope this tale has related to and distracted you from your own tale, all at once.
Please do what you have to do for you. Even though you are concerned for her well-being.
PS I dragged myself to the doctor with my own psycho-hell, tofind that I had a thyroid - pumping out seven times the average for my age, etc. Seven times! Anyway, I already practiced what I'm preaching from both sides. It can be done!
I promise!!!

help her through by taking her to therapy and the whole bit then when she seems better, break it off for a different reason...that's only if she gets better quickly...otherwise..i don't even know. i feel bad for you b/c you shouldn't have to deal with it but i feel bad that she is all mixed up. it's harder if you're the only one who knows...encourage help from her friends and family. but no matter what tell her it's not b/c of her suicidal history...that makes it harder on her and if you've ever cared abuot her, you won't want to hurt her like that...

Let her know-gently but firmly-that you're not going to let her blame you for whatever issues she has. Get a support system in place for yourself and, if she does suicide, remind yourself that it's not your fault. Good luck to both of you.

If she wants to harm herself it's NOT your fault. She has issues. First, you have discontinue any communication with her and end the relationship. Save yourself and if possible put some distance between you.