Can you tell me the affects of violence and mental abuse and what I can do.?

Even though after 3 years of this...I am still experiencing serious paranoia when alone with my children even though I have a loving family.I cannot sleep at night correctly and am still experiencing terrible nightmares about the stalker looking in our windows and stealing my children in the dreams even when they are with people who are family and he still steals them.I cannot even turn up my television with out being nervous about not being able to hear whats going on outside.Its my personal hell & I dont know how to discuss this with anyone.Im terrified to walk to the corner store & even though my number has been changed for over a year,when that phone rings...the harassment is the first thing I think of.I know that this person will go to prison if he harms me but for me to move on has realy been hard.Im even afraid to be seen in public knowing he may be lurking around the corner!Because thats how he always worked.Hovering over our head after he stole my apartment keys saying...BOOO

Sounds to me like you may have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. With PTSD it is best to seek counseling with a counselor experienced in PTSD--many states offer Crime Victims where the victim can get counseling free of charge. Many women's shelters have excellent, free therapy for victims of DV.

To cope with PTSD, many people need an anti-depressant and a med for their anxiety.

Physical abuse is horrible, but broken bones do heal; while verbal abuse keeps going and going and going.....

Also, developing a Safety Plan can help control anxiety.

Good luck to you!!

when you are dealing with not feeling safe for your children or yourself it is torture. and it seems like restraining orders are just a piece of paper. it is such a hard situation and it causes post traumatic stress syndrome. but you know what. they way you are feeling is exactly what he wants. he wants that control over you and he knows that he has it. there are lots of womens groups out there and there are a lot of self defense classes that you can join that will help and you will realize that you are not the only one. some therapy might help too. i know this because i watched my exboyfriend hold a gun to my daughters head when she was 6 months old. i was so ashamed and had the worst nightmares about that for years, i still do every now and again. i had to go to therapy and i hid from him for a few years. i never put anything in my name and i was scared and was constantly looking out my windows and over my shoulder. once i started some therapy and went to groups i started taking my life back. this is the first time i have ever told anyone about the gun. but i hope it helps and lets you know that you are not alone out there and you can talk to me anytime. i have been there.

It does sound like PTSD it sounds like you need to get a b/f that will protect you and your children. Plus you need to see someone. Trust me i understand how people can haunt you for years. He was probably a real SOB. Im sorry you had to go through that and i wish you the best for you and your family.