Is there anyone out there like me today worried sick for there elderly parent?

dads 81 and visibly unwell lost weight through what we thought may be due to a stomach bug and giving up smoking abruptly due to pains in hi calfs so could be nicotine withdrawal that has caused many of the problems my guess is he has some kind of vascular disease but he wont go to the drs and i feel like i am full of fear and feel sick inside any ideas please he will not go drs so thats not an option

You can contact your GPs surgery and they may well arrange for a nice nurse to come have a look at him. If she feels that it is needed, a doctor should then attend to him at home, but their resources are limited and if he won't go to the doctors and is physically able to, then it could be seen as refusal to medical treatment, which he is legally entitled to do while in a complete state of mind.
My heart goes out to you for the horrible situation you find yourself in, but the elderly do shy away from the doctors at the moment, because they fear going to hospitals where they feel they are just left to die. if he has been to hospital to see a friend or relation on the geriatric ward this could be why he's refusing to go, but do stress to him that the GP cannot force him onto a ward, but could give him something to ease his symptoms on perscription. Pain in the calves could be varicose veins, I would have a check for those before you panic about vascular conditions. Rapid weight loss is also very common in children and the elderly if it was a stomach bug, at his age I would expect a least a month before the weight does go back on, if at all. However, if it drops further, there may be cause for concern.

If he won't go to a doctor is there no way you can get a doctor to call around, they can be so stubborn as they get older, try to explain you are very worried about his health.

Can you not phone your Dads surgery and ask the doctor to go out to him.We had a similar problem with my husbands Dad and we called his surgery,they went out to see him that afternoon and thankfully he was ok,he is 81 aswell.

please try not to worry , maybe phone the doctor to come out to see your dad, if its any consolation my friend is 40 and stopped smoking 8 weeks ago and has had constant pains in her legs and back ,shes been really ill and her doctor said its because she stopped smoking ,hope this maybe eases your mind a little bit

Please sit down...... I have seen many people quit smoking toooooo late. chances are he has cancer. Statistics don't lie. You can pay a doctor to tell you what he feels, or hide the pain but........ Accept and move on.

in ans to ur qn.

yes me, my dad has diabetes with swollen legs n all. his heart is too weak to even walk beyond a few buildings of my neighbourhood. he wakes up in e nite feeling bad. he'll tremble when e weather is normal, n when he's low in sugar-intake. my mum's has been feelin unwell for a really long time, worse still, e doctor still dared to tell me "sorry, i cant figure out wat went wrong, it's sth i nv see before". i want to strangle him at e spot, for sayin firstly so blatantly, n not making an enough conscious effort to do. does he expect me to find out wat's wrong with my mum instead when im not e professional?

so yea. i'll say i know how u feel man.

but ur dad's old enough, as much as i know u love him. understand tat he'll not leave forever, so if there's things tat he wanna do, juz let him do it, no matter how wrong it may be. coz if he dun do it now, then when?

I had this problem with my late mother. In the end I phoned her doctor`s and explained the situation. He called and said he was doing his rounds and because of my mothers age she was entitled to a home visist. ( just a little white lie). He examined her and left a perscription and arranged for a very nice nurse to call a few days later. She was so pleased with the outcome, recovered and she went on for a few more years. You will find the doctors and their comunity nurses are used to this type of situation, and always find a way round it. ...Good Luck.