Do I have vaginismus, and am I alone?

Recently I have been unable to have penetrative intercourse with my boyfriend of 1yr, 8 mths. Previously we had a loving relationship. I developed thrush, which meant that sex was painful for a while and now I can't bear to be penetrated by him.
When I was younger I was in an abusive relationship, and my ex-boyfriend would force me to sleep with him. In my current relationship its not like that at all, so I don't understand why I am having problems now. I feel like a failure and that I am abnormal cos i can't have sex. Please help.

No, you are not a failure.
You've received many good answers.
I would first rule out that you don't have anything physical going on, so make an apt. with your doc. If, your thrush is cleared up & you're still feeling anxious about being intimate, then you might seek the advice of a counselor. See if, what's going on isn't the residual trauma from you your previous relationship, this could be affecting you now.
Replenish is a good product to use, check it out.

Go see your GP honey.

c dr

see your dr.

You are stressed (could be unconsciously)..Try to relax yourself and if it does not work ...go to an specialist

if you ever have problems like these you should probably not ask everyone else for their opinion on what to do healthwise....go see your doctor and talk it out.....hope everything works out for the best for you and yours!

You are not alone sweetie. My former psychology professor is a sex and relationship therapist and he sees many people with vaginismus. In fact there were people he saw who had not even consummated their marriage. You should probably either go see your doctor or a therapist that specializes in sex related issues. You will probably do better with a therapist if you feel it has something to do with your past relationship with your boyfriend. There are probably some feelings that have not been dealt with regarding intimacy and sex. The treatment for vaginismus is pretty straight forward, but a therapist will help you emotionally as well as physically. Go see someone. You are not alone.

Maybe you just have a real bad internal infection or something. I had that and its the worst thing ever!! Sex is painful and uncomfortable but nothing seems wrong down there. Go see your gyne as soon as possible. You'll propably get a cream and medication which will fix you right up! Good luck!

I am not quite sure just why the sex is painful from your question. Is the thrush completely treated and gone? Is the problem vaginal dryness? In that case, a water soluble lubricant such as KY or Astroglide might help. Are you having muscle spasms during attempts at penetration? Do you have a lot of anxiety or fear just before penetration is to occur?

This certainly does not make you a "failure" in any way, shape or form. Get an exam by a gynecologist if this persists.

You are not a failure and you are not alone. Others have had these problems too, and the first thing to remember is that it will take some time and patience to get over this. You say you have had a previously loving relationship with your boyfriend, and if so, that means that it's not just sex with him, right? Love means that you have things in common, you respect each other, and he will hopefully be willing to help you through this.

First you should go see a gynecologist, to rule out any other problems. Then counseling will be a good idea for both of you, especially considering your past history of abuse. If your boyfriend is one of the "good" ones, he will be kind and gentle and willing to wait. It will be worth it in the end. If he isn't willing then maybe it's better to know now, and you can go to counseling on your own, so that when you do find the guy who's the right one for you, you'll be ready for him.

Best wishes to you, I hope it all works out.

I feel for you having another form of a disease non related. yet it seems to me the best form of finding out is to go along with your now boyfriend and see first your ob-gyn and then if both of you are in love as you say pls see a good person such as a therapist, in most areas you can pay a low fee. Even being a Nurse makes no difference in so many ways, only to offer what I have seen or experienced and pls make sure you find a good Dr ok?That way you will then be on to a more loving and healthy relationship when all of these issues are resolved. I will keep ya in my prayers ok and a hug goes with this to the both of you.

hiya i had this problem aswell - i went to my local g.p who ran tests for everything - just tell her your symtoms - i have been given antibiotics for a bacterial vaginosis and all my symtoms are nearly gone - take them for a week the g.p will tell ya all about it but dont worry it goes away !!!
x