Help!! Husband has type II diabetes and is on a pump with very high BS (260-350) Refuses to exercise or diet!?

Any suggestions?? Divorce?? Beat him with a stick?? I don't know, I'm running out of options here and his vision and feet are going down hill.

Forgot to mention... He's 46 years old.

Sit down with him and ask him to help you plan his funeral so that it will be the way he wants it. He has a very manageable disease if he will face up to it like a man and take some responsibility for it. But if he continues to act like a spoiled child and insist on having what he wants, when he wants it, then he is on the fast tract to the cemetery. My father managed to live to his 80th year with diabetes but that is because he, with my mother's help, took care of his disease. He had some problems along the way but got through them.

If you have any type of insurance on him be sure to keep it in force--he will never be able to qualify for any more--and if he continues his present behavior you will need it before too long.

Sorry to be so cold about it but that is just the way it is.

what a great answer, exactly what i was thinking! Report It

When it comes to the matters of your life, the truth is really nothing but that: facts. Report It

Diet is very important here, you can't change someone overnight. But with some help limit the carbs, it's ok to have a little just not in excess. But if you can't change him, just accept. This is his choice and he will be the one to suffer the consequences. Try the diabetic diet, you did not say whether you are the one that cooks. If you are change your cooking gradually. That may help.

If he refuses then get funeral insurance -(if you don't have it already)
You can't make people do anything only encourage - after that you have to prepare for what comes next.
If he absolutely refuses - when he has to go to the hospital - do not allow him to come home unless he starts taking his condition seriously - if he wants to die , then put him in nursing home - if watching him give up is too much for you - then get yourself some therapy

It's easier for the hospital to force placement than for you to try and do it on your own. Do not be afraid to speak with his doctor about his behavior!

See if you can get him into counseling. He may be in denial about it, or may be depressed.

Do what you can to help him out. If you cook, cook healthier meals. Go for afternoon walks with him, but at his pace and only to his limits. Refuse to bring harmful food into the house.

If you can't get him to see a counselor, see one yourself. Get ideas from him/her on what you can do and to prevent yourself from being destroyed by this behaviour.

Unfortunately, some people never change. Even after having both feet amputated and being in the hospital they still refuse to change their habits to improve their health. Good luck to you in this difficult time.

beating him with a stick would be a good idea. i dont know what you could do... maybe just sit down with him and have a talk about how it worries you and if bad stuff happens it will effect you as well as him, and nag about how his life will be when his feet are amputated. also, try to cook healthier. make him lunch when goes to work and dont keep junk food or other things around that will raise his blood sugar. maybe try to get him to go on walks and stuff with you; maybe he'll go if you go together.

in the end though, theres nothing you can do to help a person who wont help themself. I know its frustrating as hell, bc the changes that need to be made dont seem that difficult to you, but in the end you can't force him to care about his health.

as guys, sometimes we need a lot of prodding. i often know somebody is right but wont change just to prove a point. just keep chipping away at him, he probably knows inside what he should be doing but just doesnt want to admit it/do it

unfortuantely, there's not much you can do...he will make changes when he's ready to make changes. If that happens when he's blind and has had his legs amputated because of diabetic neuropathy...well, que sera sera... :(

Wow. He's really young for all that. You have my sympathies.

You should try and get him some counseling and hope the complications take out one of his feet first. That's usually a sharp wake up call and losing a foot is not as bad as going blind.

Sorry.

If he is on a pump, he should be able to control his bs while eating a regular diet, provided he boluses for it correctly, counting the carbs correctly, and adjusting doses properly. I would recommend counseling as well.

If his bs is that high, either his set is bad and needs changing (is this recent?) or his basals and boluses are both way off.

something is very wrong if he is on the insulin pump and his blood sugars are what you say.If he chooses to be non compliant he will not live very long and it is a slow miserable death.Sorry his insurance company wasted money on the pump.

you may not be able to do anything about it if he is not concerned about his own health. He should be because those numbers are worse than bad and he is going to die if he doesn't do something to change his eating and exercise habits and loose some weight pronto. Tell him what I told my husband

"Since you are determined to kill yourself and leave me a widow I need to know a few things 1) what is your favorite hymn 2)What kind of flowers do you want at your funreral and 3)Where is the money and the insurance papers?"

I asked him with a deadly seriousness. He was shocked and then he got angry, but he went to the doctor's/

Try it, what have you got to loose, only him if he doesn't wake up and smell the insulin

Sounds like a bigger issue to me. Maybve your husband doesn't want to deal with the disease (he's not alone). A psychitrist or social worker might help?

The pump should help with blood sugar. Start by talking to doctor and get his basal rate raised to compensate for this problem. Then, he needs to take insulin when he eats. He has the tools, its time he takes control. I will tell you, though that remembering to take insulin with the pump can be hard, but if he thinks about it, he should do better.

Tell him what diabetes can do to his health. He could end up in a dialysis center, his kidney could totally malfunction, he could loose his limbs due to gangreen because his wounds wont heal etc.