OK IM MAD SCREWED UP HELP PLEASE..Heres the short My life started to get mad ****** up from young at 4?

my mom was so neglegiant I left home with my 2 year old sister ? At 5 my mom chased me with a butcher knife , At 8 my mom locked us (me + 2 sisters ) in a dark unfinshed basement with no food or water, at 12- 15 she starved us and we watched her try to kill herself daily (were I live you cannont inforce psychological help like in USA) now at 15 I ran away and went from one messed up relationship to another one bf was a a psycho terrorist who after 2 wonderfull years all the sudden acquired guns ect after (9/11) and held me at gunpoint for 3 years until |I ran away and helped the cops get him ( he developed schitzophrenia and was gonna attack american embassies???? he had a different dilusion daily) and then now I ended up with a crazy drug addict........My question is Ive always rejected help but feel I keep putting myself in terrible possition cause I have seriously low self esteem.....but I sholdnt despite my unbelievably horrid life I managed to be really sucessful at only 24

Do I have a chance of getting through this? Am I normal for feeling this way? ANYTHIING COMMENT ADVICE< OPINION WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED IM IN SUCH A DARK PLACE AT THE MOMENT

Sounds like you have led one heck of a difficult life. But the good news is, you can make it better. You just need to chose to do so. You are a bright young lady who can do anything you want to do.. just use the power in your mind. I know you may be fairly depressed right now, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Start helping yourself by realizing how wonderful you are.... start an " I AM...." list so that you can see on paper all the wonderful things that you are. And take some time out to do something good for yourself. If you should need to talk, email me any time and I will see how I can direct you in the right way. Also, if you can go to a book store and pick up a copy of Louise Hay's book YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE... you'd be surprised at how much you can accomplish changing your own thinking. I know it has helped me.

well to my solution is not to put your self down don't give up and belive that you cna do anything, just think about what kind of person you wanna be? wat job you wanna have? who the perfect guy for you? what about your mum? maybe if you go and visit her and she how she go if still like wat you said then find someone you can strust to help you with your life.

So sorry for your misfortunes, but the only thing holding you back is yourself. You have to overcome the BS and realize that you are in charge of who you become. The bad that happened, happened. You learn all you can and find a positive,productive path to take you forward. There is no way you will ever forget, but there is a way for you to go on. Ask for help if you cant do it alone. I was raised with this in mind,"GET OVER IT". Somehow seems to help.