At times I feel the need to have pressure on my back, why?

I have felt this need ever since April 20,2003.I was 13 years old and in a short term mental health hospital and I got physicaly aggressive with a staff and he put me in a physical restraint.He basically just knelt all his weight(250 lbs.)on my back for about 5 minutes.Before this I saw other kids in restraints and they were screaming and crying because they were in pain.But for some reason I liked the feeling of being in a restraint.Now its November 8,2006 and I am 17 years old and in a RTF(Residential Treatment Faculity)which is a long term placement for children and Teens with mental health problems.I have been at over 20 more hospitals and in over 50 more restraints lasting from 5 minutes through 6 hours.I've went threw about 5 therapists and so far no one has figured out why I have this need.I am almost an and I really want to have a normal life.So I have not been in a restraint since January but I still feel that I need it.Please someone help me,anyone I just want a life.

Hi,

how much physical contact do you get, apart from being restrained? I've spent a decade in mental health services and practically the only 'touch' I got from anyone was when someone stuck a needle in me! Humans need touch from others to thrive - look at the orphanages in countries like Romania. I started to self-harm, learnt from others in the wards and by luck found that imagining that I was being held and reassured took away the need. I know why, it goes right back to standing at my grandmothers funeral when my grandfather stood behind me and put his arms around me - making me feel safe and secure. (Since I only tended to self-harm when on the wards this suggests that I was feeling very UNsafe and INsecure - so much for places of safety...)

So try and figure out what the feelings are when you get restrained. I agree with the other advice - see if there are things you can use to feel the pressure on your back without having a burly nurse on you! If you look at some autism sites they have pressure suits/vests to get people with autism used to feeling pressure on their bodies. But also have a go and see if you can use your imagination to get the feeling of pressure. I was useless at visual and aural imagery etc - failed every 'relaxation course' I've done! But somehow tricking my brain into believeing that I was being held was actually easy. Maybe ask help in using 'anchoring' from staff - not anchoring you to the floor, but using unobtrusive cues (eg pressing a finger and thumb together) to bring up the feelings you get when being restrained.

Just because you have this need now, it doesn't mean you will have it for ever. Once you start living in the real world, as scary as that might seem now, chances are it will fade into the background.

Good luck!
Elizabeth

What is wrong with this need? I don't think it is that bad of a need. It just sounds like restraints and pressure relax you and everyone is relaxed by different things. You can wear a back support belt, that might help. It will feel a little like a restraint and give you some support/pressure on your back while still allowing you to perform everyday tasks.

Go to a chiropractor.

wow- so where are you now? are you back home now?

You wacko.