Is it normal to blame yourself after a sexual assault?

I was yesterday. It hurt so bad...I was so scared and I didn't know what to do...and I keep blaming myself for it. I feel so bad, like it was my fault that it happened. What do I do? I don't want to report it...it's too embarassing to relive. ..I just want it to be over...but I can't get it out of my mind. I can't sleep because all I can see is him chocking me like yesterday....

I just don't want to relive every detail...I don't want it to go to court. I don't want to see him again. I can't handle it. I just want to forget it. I know everyone says to report it, but what if they say it is my fault? Or there is nothing they can do? I am afraid....

Call the national rape/sexual assault crisis line at 800-656-HOPE. They will not make you talk about anything that you do not want to talk about--they will listen if you want to talk about the assault, or if you want to talk about how you are feeling now, or how to start to heal. They will also point you in the direction of great resources in your local community.

I think that the term "crisis" line may turn people away, but they are really just there to help you get through a tough time. They will move at you pace as far as talking about what happened and will not push you into reporting it--that is a very personal decision that only you can make.

I am a Sexual Assault Response Program team member and have been trained in dealing with survivors. It is VERY common to blame yourself, feel disoriented, confused, depressed, then get angry, isolate, and to try to push the emotion down and not deal with it. None of this is your fault! Don't go through it alone. A call to a crisis line is confinetial, so you can feel comfortable talking to them. Someone who does not know you, but knows your situation either because they too have been assaulted or have been trained in how to assist survivors!

That is what you are...a SURVIVOR! You can regain your power. The first step was to each out for help here, now reach out to some people who can provide you with more tangible resources.

you need to think about the other girls that will go through this same thing if you dont tell. i sure wouldnt want to know that because i didnt want to tell, this has happened to alot of other people when i could have stopped it. i know its a difficult thing to go through, but the good out weighs the bad here. goodluck.

Playing "I should have..." is not going to change what happened. You are not at fault! You do need to go the doctor for treatment (possible STD's, unwanted pregnancy...) You also need to get to a counselor. You need to talk this out with someone. Please seek some help. This can affect every aspect of your life if you do not learn the proper way to handle things...I know all too well...Take care!

I am so very sorry for what happened to you. The sad things is you are going to blame yourself. But its is not your fault. I wish you would report what happened to you so that this "person" can get what is coming to him. You must, and I know its hard, get help for yourself.Speaking to someone that you can trust can help you. PLEASE PLEASE REMEMBER THIS IS NOT AND NEVER WAS YOUR FAULT. Be strong and never give up on yourself.

some people blame hemselves for stuff like that......but you shouldnt....its his fault, not yours.its hisblame that he did that to you.....im so sorry that he did that.....

Well if you are not embarrassed to tell us on Yahoo! Answers, (one of the internet's most public places), then you should not be embarrassed to go to the police. Anyone who was assaulted is never at blame so scratch that from your head and if this is legit, go to the police. You said, you want it to be over right? Police can help you with that process. If not, it will just eat you up and you will never function properly. You need help. IF this is real that is.

Please do report it. Even though you may feel somehow responsible, I can promise you that you are *not at all* responsible for someone harming you in that way.

Report it for yourself; for any others who may have been victimized by his person; for anyone who may be victimized in the future.

I was victimized as a child, repeatedly, and said nothing because I somehow felt that it was something I had caused. It's not "your fault."

Take action, now; it will help you and likely others.

And good luck to you.

Try thinking of it as an assault - there's nothing sexual about being raped other than it involves the same organs. I think that you should report it and get some help. The police will take a report and you'll just need to tell them exactly what happened. Afterwards, they'll be able to refer you to someone who has experience in helping women get through this type of thing.

It's important to report it because it will help you not to feel like a victim anymore and you'll help ensure that no other woman has to endure what you did from this very bad man. Men who rape women don't just do it once - they do it again and again until someone stops them. Don't be embarrassed - this is just like someone came up to you in the street and punched you in the face only you got assaulted somewhere else - it's still unacceptable. I hope that you get the help that you need right now.

Hi. I'm so sorry for what you have gone through. I think it is normal to blame yourself when something tramatic happens. But you have to know that it's not your fault. You should turn to someone you truly trust and tell them what happened. You need to talk to the authorities and get through this. IT will be better for your mental health in the long run. Please stay strong. Good luck.

I do a lot of talking to people in turmoil, and yes, it seems pretty common to ask what you could have done differently, if you should have said something that would have caused the guy to not pick you out as a victim.

You are NOT to blame. I promise you that, OK?

I understand your not wanting to relive it all. I won't join in with those telling you that you have to report it in detail. I will say that if you at least call the police and report that he exposed himself to you as a "flasher" he WILL get listed as a sex offender, be in their records, get arrested as a suspect in any reported rapes and so on. If you don't want to relive it, you might want to at least report him as a flasher.

From what I know of post traumatic stress disorder, the most effective therapy eventually isn't to repress the memory, but to relive it in SAFE CONTROLLED ways so that the memory loses it's power over you. You may want to seek out a counselor who can help you cope, again I I know you don't want to relive it right now, but I've seen people get very hurt when they try and bury these things.

I'm terribly sorry it happened to you, and if I can do anything at all just ask.

It's normal to blame yourself, and normal to be afraid. Everything you're feeling is to be expected. However, you really need to seek medical help. You don't know if he was diseased or if he's gotten you pregnant. You also don't know if he's done some damage internally, a doctor really needs to treat you.
This person has probably done this before, and will most certainly do it again. If you speak out, it may encourage other women to do the same.
This person deserves to be put in jail for his actions. And you deserve the peace of mind, knowing that he can't come back and do it again if he's sitting behind bars.
Believe me, nobody's going to think it was your fault. You deserve justice!

call the cops.