I fear they dont want me to leave and they will try to block me from going, shutting me in ?

here was previous question :

Am i allowing myself to be controlled ?
my mum is telling me , even though i dont like where im living/staying, that i should stay for now and engage with psychotherapy within view to going at a later stage- shes says im not ready now, that i would just take my problems whereever i go.

this is what we discussed last night and i ended up agreeing and coming to agreeing with her logic.

problem is im 30 years old, had a hard life, i feel like ive been controlled half of it my domineering, over protective parents...ive suffered severe bullying, assaults...sexual abuse as a kid and victimization throughout my life.....ive never made any friends, never had a parter...i have bpd and ptsd.

i just want to leave britain go far away and start my life a new, find happiness, normalacy...a job..a wife a home all the things ive never had ever..and feel i should of accomplished by now, but have been deprived of.

i want to go back to europe or outside europe...leave britain.

right now i live in a small flat in the uk on welfare income

i dont live in the roughest area of britain, but there is antisocial gangs of youths...no hopers...bums and druggies and alchoholics.

ive lived like this all my life, since ive came to the uk at 7 years old and i desperatly want to leave.

where iam, people know my face...probally remember me from my aggressive rage outbursts in public that i did countless times in public.

people have treated me standoffish and aloof for sometime....and ive been britalized at the hands of others here in this country all my life it seems.

i wanna leave, but at the same time im frightened to go off alone...because i realize i lack the know how, im at disadvantages, with mental health problems.

i have a minor criminal history....no employment history etc...

first... tell your parents to f**k off.
Next.... get yourself together.

You have some issues. Deal with it. I am not trying to be mean. What i am trying to say is that you have to stand up and face those issues. Stop being controlled by your demons, and your parents. (who might be the same thing)

You are who you are... stop judging yourself based on what society tells us is proper. F**k society. you are who you are. Get up off your *ss and get your sh*t together.

i would say start new and fresh but still go through therapy where ever you go it will probably do you some good but whether you are going or not going you do need therapy becuase you have endured alot of tradgities in your life time and it is your best bet

This is my best and honest advice, leave home, and go somewhere else and get your own pyschotherapy. I my self, did the just leave home thing, and know only to well, that problems just follow......but not all problems follow. After you leave you will be suprised at how much bpd improves, and its been shown to improve once the person is removed. PTSD is a tough one....but, from my line of thinking, how can you shake the nightmare when you live in it everyday? U can't. Leave, get a counselor and let her help you decide what and how much of the problems are really still yours. After I left my home area, I felt happier for a while until remaining problems caught up with me and I ended up getting counselling....that's why I say leave and get counselling, cuz I know better. Mom needs to be free from controlling you constantly, so she can be free to see that she needs her own counseling(not being mean) and start living her own life, instead of making u her life mission statement. Best of luck.

Your mum loves you and will always have your best interests at heart. She has given you the best advice. You will take your problems with you if you haven't had the treatment you so badly need and make the necessary changes in your life to become self sufficient. Your mother is not being controlling she is trying to support you with your distorted irrational thinking. You know she loves you - trust her judgement. Quit complaining about your life and go into treatment then you will be free to live your life.

Those are all valid concerns. Have you tried the therapy your mom is talking about before? If she is talking you into something you know won't work, you might want to reconsider. BUT, if there are therapies or medications you haven't tried, try them! You never know what is going to work for you, personally. You are still young and can still have all those things, but you have to deal with what is holding you back, all this pain and anxiety and anger. God bless you and good luck!