Why do i feel my life is being controlled and people are being influenced to socially reject me ?

and to stay away from me ?

i say this because something very weird is happening to me.

i think people are being told to stay away from me, wide berth me.

im a borderline personality disorder sufferer, im 30 years old, i live alone in a one bedroom flat on sickness benifit...ive had a very hard life....sexual abuse..bullying...abuse...assaults.

i have a very low self esteem because of this, always have done...im clingy to...struggle to form relationships with people...feel unworthy. dont no how to talk....reciprocate with people.
due to my traumatic life, ive never made a single friend in life...never had a partner or been in a relationship, ever.

i want to know since ive had the internet, for 2 years, ive met a handful of people on myspace...on yahoo answers...on dating sites...added them to my messenger...msn or yahoo....i talk with them for a couple of weeks...then i dont hear from them again....they erase them selves or delete me...stop talking to me...or appear permenantly

offline to me...

everybody is seeming to reject me.....i try not to appear desperate
for contact, even though iam.

then its not long before they dont contact me again.

i think theres a conspiracy and people are being influenced to socially reject me

or theres a stigma around about me...spread by other people- that im not aware of.

thats causing people to reject and stay away from me.

what does anyone think ?

There is many support groups out there for everything you are talking about.

The internet is not the answer.

i am not sure, perhaps you are doing this to yourself... never mind that, talk to me!! ill be your friend gizmo_03_11@yahoo.com email me or something, but i have to warn you sometimes i am not on for long periods of time, however i am not the kind of person to ignore peopl unless they harass me

It's definitely because you're not confident with yourself . If you meet someone for the first time, don't treat them like your best friend and reveal your personal life to them . This will definitely shoo them off . So, don't be shy . Open up . Maintain a good posture and look at people in the eye when you talk to them . Don't be bland, and don't stutter . Go for a makeover, it will help you look good and feel good about yourself .

Did you forget that today is Christmas???? I'm giving you a present....It's my wish for you to have a Merry Christmas. Quit thinking about this for one day...give yourself a day off. Enjoy today!!!

I'm sorry you went through all that horror in your life. No one is after you or against you. People are more concerned about themselves, as you are. Don't let ugly stares get to you. Don't let online so-called "friends" get to you. Everyone has their problems and their little ugly past. Unfortunately, it seems as if you had some real bad experiences.

We live in a world where people would rather be friends with the cool or the hot people. Maybe you don't fit that look, and it's fine. It's not your fault. Not your fault.

It seems as if you may be bipolar, schizophrenic, and may also suffer from post traumatic depression, thinking that people are going to go at you, like those horrible people assaulted you, etc.

There should be a nearby mental center which offers wellness and group theraphies. Remember, you are not alone. Do you work?

And as for myspace and all those group sites, cancel your membership. People don't know what they want online.

Hello Roche,
Sadly, I understand your history all too well. That's because I share it. You may e-mail me off list. Happy Holidays :)!