Borderline personality disorder and paranoia- how to cope?

im 30 and for a long time now ive had bad paranoia, feeling that people know me personally....they somehow know about me.
feeling like people in society high up are controling my life...preventing me from living my life how i want....preventing me from doing things...achieving a happy life.......preventing people from helping or befriending me.................preventing me from having a girlfriend who i want or having a relationship....
hence me never having a girlfriend or any friends ever....plus ive never been employed or gained qualifications.

ive endured a miserable life of trauma, bullying, sexual abuse, street assaults all the way through my life.

my psychiatrist said my paranoia is based in reality because people have in reality abused, victimized and harrassed me..

presently i live alone...no one to turn to, im aging prematurly...
im trying to get the right help from the mental health services for my BPD and ptsd.
but i strongly feel theres people preventing me

from living and accomplishing the life i want.

preventing me from having a relationship..

preventing me from emigrating outside the EU.

obviously i have no evidence....but its a stong
feeling my lifes being manipulated and controlled.

just the thought that it is is making me enraged.

i can only hope these persecutors reveal themselves
to me so i can deal with them personally..

im so angry....can anyone help with this?

I do believe that your paranoia is based in reality because people have in reality because of your difficult past of abuse and victimisation, but there is a time that we all must either be consumed from our past and die or rise up, stronger and wiser to move forward. It sound to me as you really have gotten the hard end of the stick and known some truly horrible people who treated you badly.

But I want you to realise that not everyone is like that, you just need to learn that we aren't all out to get you and that people are trustworthy if you pick the right ones to befriend. It will take time, but things will sort themselves out.

It is not easy. I have had BPD and PTSD most of my life. I am on some medications and they are helping but I still have to deal every day. I don't like it but that is the way it is. I wish I had a better answer for you, but what is is what is. If possible see your self as perfect and accepted by a higher authority and it will make no difference what others think of you. I just came through being let go from a position that I really enjoyed because of my disorder. I can't help what others see or don't see. They have there eyes and I have mine. We do not always see the same thing.

Sounds like people have hurt you;that is reality based.Your Doctor is correct.I would encourage you to speak more with this Doctor as much as you can.The abuse is over now,and it is time to start healing.You need to feel safe.You are in control and you can take care of you.Good Luck

Hey, all I can really say is that you have to keep fighting for your self because no one else is going to do it for you. You already know I suffer from all that plus some more, but I am also in daily therapy, and weekly groups just to try and make it one more day. I have that same feeling that every one knows me and I have to play hard just to stay alive, every one got the rules except me!! Good Luck

Abilify helps me tremendously with paranoid delusions.

i would tell most people to get a counselor but since you are trying to get help that's different. i have a problem getting help here in texas. i also have BPD and schizoaffective disorder which sometimes involves paranoia. we have to keep seeking and hopefully we'll get help sometime.wish you the best in getting help.

My answer may not necessarily help you but it will clarify some things. For people who have suffered abuse or suffered from some kind of traumatic stress there are three stages, victim survivor and thriver. Right now you are in the victim stage. I can tell because of how you talk about people controlling your life. In this relationship they are the aggressor and you are the victim. Right now it feels like you have no control in your life but know that you actually do. There are people out there who for whatever reason will not like you but there are also people out there who will be incredibly supportive but its up to you to find them. They don't know that you need help until you ask for it. Here's a good website http://www.slshealth.com/residential/beh... It's got some good self taught behaviors you can learn to help you cope. Good luck

They did prevent you, they did make you who you are, but they are not anymore, and now you can do something to heal the past and thrive.