How can i get over that alot of times in my life i have been publicly humiliated and disgraced ?

i'm 30 ive had a terrible traumatic, tough, unfair, injust, horrific, horrendous life.

i have borderline personality disorder, i have been severly bullied in my life, suffered sexual abuse, assaults, muggings, been victimized alot of times.

ive missed out on being employed ever, missed out on getting qualifications, getting a partner or girlfriend, having friends and basically having a normal life.

for along time ive struggled with rage and aggression, and years ago i used to have aggressive outbursts in public that i didnt plan...but would just happen whilst out....like a build up of tension, stress....& percieving i was being threatened.

i would shout, growl, stare and act threatening towards people...kick bill boards etc..

i regret all this but through it, i was attacked by thugs on many occasions...got injured..got punched...butted...where my head blead..& once i was seriously attacked by youths carrying a chair leg, they battered me over the head, i suffered head injuries.

so basically on all these occasions i was made to look ridiculous and stupid.

it happened in public, crowed places, where alot of people saw what happened.

i publicly humiliated myself.

on one occasion i actually cried when thugs attacked and hurt me...how embarressing.

this as happened alot in the past.

today i still struggle with rage and aggression, because of my past victimization, and i have
bad panic and anxiety and aggrophobia because of past attacks outside in public places.

how can i get over this ?

firstly you have nothing to feel embarrassed about crying when hurt physically or emotionaly is a normal human response.
you need help go and see your doctor as soon as possible and tell them how you feel ..there is help available honestly .. iam not saying it will be easy or happen overnight but you can get better
i wish you luck .... take care

I would start by hanging around in safer places.

Sorry to hear that, anti depressants help alot, to rebuild self esteem and get you back on things, counselling may help, but i always find they waste my time pretending they know how things feel

It's almost impossible to get over stuff like that but you cant just keep all the anger inside you, you just have to let it out. Try to write about your feelings, anything that makes you let the anger out...but not in public

Terrible, have you tried praying? Going to church and discussing it?