Is my life over ? - see these grim, depressing facts?

im 30 years old, have borderline personality disorder, suffered a hard life....sexual abuse as a kid....bullying throughout secondary school...never gained qualifications or passed any exams....dropped out of school.
mental health problems started at 16.....suffered street assaults by street thugs.....been mugged.....had head injuries, was attacked by three youths with a baseball bat......had my head split open.
spent 18 months in a psychiatric hospital....have a criminal record for common assault....& carrying a knife...when i lived in rough neighbourhoods.
have a long mental health record. never been employed...never been in a relationship....never made any friends.
have very low self esteem....iam clingy, needy..want intimacy at an early stage...then im normally rejected because of it.

have physical worries, 2 missing teeth, front row, bottom row. torn ankle ligaments in my left ankle that need surgery....have a crooked little finger, due to an injury.

im bald...overweight...ive aged rapidly in my face, dark lines under eyes.
feel weak, tired....have aching joints.

i live alone in a one bedroom flat on benifits....i dont own
any posessions except a computer.

my only goals are to live in a quiet coastal village by the sea...own my
own house....have an ok job with decent income.....have a loving partner
girl to share it with....and thats it.

plus maybe to move to australia or if not, to europe from the uk, which
is where iam now.

but how can i accomplish these goals at the major disadvantages im at ?

at this late stage of 30, having aged badly...physical imperfections...
no employment history ? amoung all the other facts.

at the moment im trying to get treatment for my disorder, psychiatric help.
but it feels im fighting a losing battle.

Well we are coming up to 2008 very soon so maybe this year will be your year Hun. The physical issues you mention are fixable.So I would not worry about those. The criminal record we cant do anything about so lets focus on the things we can change. There is no doubt you have had a hard life, and had some terrible things happen to you, but I think what you need to do is focus on the positive things in your life. You are only 30 years old so all of your dreams are still achievable for sure. You can have all the things you talk about, such as a job and a partner and to move to another Country. In order to get them you must make sure you are getting the correct help for your condition firstly, once you are getting the correct help then the things you want from your life, will start to fall into place. I think to some extent we are all a bit clingy and needy and want intimacy in our lives at some stage and sometimes it happens a bit fast. Find someone who actually understands what you are going through and more importantly understands your needs as a person.
There is nothing that you cant acomplish at all with some help from friends and the proper care. You know I am here for you whenever you need to talk.

Your life isn't over. You just have to stop focusing all that bad stuff and start focusing on where it is you want to be. I think its good your focused on yoru goal of living in a coastal town. try to be positve and happy, despite your harships.

Time to change your attitude, and make your life better. Its almost the new year. Try to make 2008 as great as you can. If you are unhappy about your appearance do things to improve. Work out, get new clothes etc. These things will help alot. See a therapist to help with the internal probs. Just because you had a crappy past, doesn't mean you need to have a crappy future. Good Luck & feel better soon!

No may be you should become a mentor

Is your life over? Of course not, you've got Internet!

That's about all I have (the phone does not ring anymore), and I could be your father, and I'm not absolutely over-and-out, not yet, so why should you be? To be thirty again! At thirty I had almost no education, had never been anything more than a security twit or a front-desk night clerk.

Then things started picking up. I finished, or bluffed my way through a B.A., then an even dicier M.A., and my wife, the most beautiful girl in the country, got me into teaching, and before I knew it, I had parlayed those tid-bits of training and experience into a university position.

So here's what you've got to look forward to when you run through an up-cycle like the one I've had: getting ignominiously dumped, losing your great job, along with the ability to perform it ever again, losing your friends and supporters, who back away, one after the other, as time goes on and you just sink deeper and deeper. 芦Apr猫s la pluie, le beau temps禄?

So let's say that your rise to success in life must be on its way, and you should be ready for the possibility, nay rather the likelihood, that fortunate times will follow unfortunate ones, and unfortunate times will follow fortunate ones. Get that simple, satisfying job by the sea (!), that faithful loving cutie, and be ready to weather more deprivation the likes of which you don't know anything about now.

These cycles of gains and losses are what really age us, make us tired of the world, and make us detached from it. If the timing works out just right, by the time we have to go, we will already be deepened enough to embrace that next step.

By the way, I haven't been ignoring your barrage of letters documenting your recent changes in ethnic affiliation, the teeth in your lower mandible, your dreams of Canadian coast-lines, and sundry and varia. I've been busy, in this four-cornered room, doing much the same as you: looking for new contacts, to replace the former ones, who have tired of hearing my complaints, and who have become exasperated with the absence of any obvious change in me. So I get an occasional phone-call from someone new, and I try to step outside every week or so. Do you realize that Canada is looking at its roughest winter in fifteen years? You might want to revise and adjust a couple of your fantasies!

well you have a girl, thats a start, if nothing else, devote your time into a family maybe?