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How do you repair after being sexually assaulted as a child by a stranger? |
when I was 8 (32 years ago) I was sexually assaulted - not raped - by a stranger whilst holding on to my sisters hand. I felt so much fear that I couldn't scream no matter how much I tried. I though this was all over when I was younger but over the past couple of decades it has reappeared as being frigid and afraid of intimacy to wanting sex with only strangers and having very difficult personal sexual relationships to now, as my own daughters approach and pass that age, where I have night horrors and experience anxiety, but not all the time. Do we ever recover and if so how? This also happened to me when I was your age. It has haunted me for years and I always blamed myself. I was assaulted by my step-brother. For years I tried to find him so I could let him now what he did to me. After years and years of researching him, I found him. I was finally able to confront my attacker. I can't really say I am 100% better but knowing that his life is horrible and everyday he wishes he were dead does take the sting out a bit. I don't think I'll ever "recover" and to be honest I don't think anyone can ever recover. I've been to countless therapists and not one has helped me. I've even gone to the so called sexual abuse specialists. The only thing that has helped me is the strenght that I found in myself when I was finally able to confront him. Good luck battling the demons that someone gave to you and you don't deserve. I hope you win the fight! Lots of counseling is the only way you can recover. It often takes years before you no longer are aware of these continued thoughts about what happened. Try getting into a support group also - it may help. "For God so loved the world that He Gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, that whosoever would believe on Him will not perish but have everlasting life." (John 3:16) I know if it were me and I knew the person was walking around free now I would have them thrown in an incinerator. I would also seriously question an "all knowing and loving god" who allowed this to happen and expected me to forgive this freak. I can't make these decisions for you but I understand. i can't see how the catholic church can get away with protecting pedophiles. I CAN say please see a therapist and start getting this off your chest. DO NOT give this freak the power to ruin your life like this! i'm so sorry about it...and honestly the only thing i think can help is councelling...good luck hun!!:):) |
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