Is it possible for a "rapist" to still be a good person?

I dated a boy who thinks he has bipolar disorder for about two years. The disorder runs in his family and he does show lots of symptoms...but he doesn't have insurance so he never went to the doctor about it. During that time we fought a lot. He was super jealous and that made me be jealous in return. We had amazing times together, but at the same time it could go from being great to extremely stressful. He says this stress made him go crazy. I eventually told him I wanted to take a break and started talking to another guy. A few weeks after that I saw him and he raped me. He didn't assault me while it was going on...he just forced me to do sexual things while i was screaming that I didn't want to. I didn't tell my parents. I don't want him in jail. Is it possible that he has a good heart but because of his bipolar disorder and our stress that caused him to do this to me? Is it possible that he won't do it to someone else? He also admitted to being abused as a child.

Ana, You must seek women's council and grow in so many different ways!
One being the recognition that he DID abuse you, and he DID rape you and DOES need to go to jail for it.

You have to have personnel council from another woman, because I don't believe what we say on here will be enough to convince you that you have already started the cycle of abuse in your life. and it just keeps happening until either you break free from it or are killed.

I don't believe you are naive about this. Perhaps you need some comfort and support.
Ever heard of the book The Women Who Love too Much?
It would be a good idea if you would grab a copy. Your local library would have it.

Alot of people were abused as a child, but that does not give them the right to do whatever they please, it is just an excuse, as his lawyer may use to try to get him off.
But these days it barely concerns a Judge how dysfunctional his family were
.
And it just may play against him, as in 'this man is not coping because he had a bad childhood, so he needs jailing, psychiatric help, anger management... before he is able to mix with society again.

The right thing to do for him is to have him charged.
Please Darl, do the right thing!
Start setting the standard and helping make other young ladies aware that RAPE is NOT EVER OK!

NO!!!

Anyone who hurts someone is not a good person and being abused as a child is only a reason for it, not an excuse. Also, he could go to a county hospital for treatment, which would be completely free....

Bipolar and being abused does not justify having sex with someone without their permission. You should still report it(tell your parents) so it doesn't happen to someone else. Or something worse!

The biggest friend of a rapist is the girl who tries to make it her fault. While no one is totally evil NOR totally good, there is no getting around the fact that rape is a violent act against someone else. So, he was abused as a child!! Many people were, but that doesn't mean they are raping people. Once the guy has crossed that line, he is likely to cross it again...at least without help. At the very least, you should tell your parents in order to force the guy to get help. But also, even if you are willing to look the other way because he has only hurt you, if he EVER rapes someone else (or God forbid...something worse) because you chose to drop it...just how will YOU feel?

my,i have to ask what is wrong with you????why would you even ask if he is still a good person,that guy is sick!!!!
you need to get away,why dont you want him to go to jail?
are you waiting for him to rape someone else???

I do hope that you are free from this guy, or are in the process of getting free from him. You owe it to yourself to get into a relationship with a healthy happy young man that shares common interests. Personally I think you're over-involved to the max. What is good about a jealous ex-boyfriend coming around to seek revenge by raping you. That means he is trying to affect you by having power over you. True love waits. Lust doesn't. He has some powerful issues to resolve that may never be fully worked out.
Don't be drawn back by his good looks.
Go find another group of people to hang out with such as a sports group or youth group.
There's also the issue with separation with this guy. Are you safe now? Some women have to move houses so this type of person doesn't know where you are. Will you be safe to remain in your current house, when you cut him off completely, if you haven't already? Don't go back to where he abused you physically.

he should be in jail,they might give him the help he needs there.

The guy has serious issues. Do not make excuses for his behavior. He needs help and lots of it. If he did that to you already he is going to probally do it again. He has no respect for women and probally not even himself.
He should of been turned in because chances are high that he will hurt someone else too.
Please take care of yourself and do not get into thinking that it was ok for him to hurt you.

The long, short, and complete answer to your question is, "NO."

Rape is not a crime of sex; it is a crime of control, power, and self-gratification. It is only carried out sexually. If I were to hit you over the head with a rolling pin, could I say I was only "baking?"

If he has bipolar disorder, he might be eligible for disability. That would get him medicated and treated. Without it, he will repeat his attacks in the future, and may not have such a "doormat" as a victim the next time. He will end up in jail, and have to register as a sex offender.

You might convince him to go for treatment by telling him you are going to file a complaint. The choice will then be his to seek treatment or face consequences. Bipolar does NOT get better by itself.

speaking from being abused in the past. I did what you did. he was my boyfriend and i would not tell anyone what was going on. i was scared of what he would do to my daughter or me. he too was abused in the past and had some drug problems. i wanted to blame that and still believe that he was good. maybe he is now, i don't know, but he did rape another girl and got away with it too. now i hope and pray that he no longer does this. that is all i can do now, because i never said anything, therefore he had no reprucussions for what he did, the first time that they do it, it just gets easier from there for them to do it again. remember this no matter how you dress or how you act, once you say no that is it, after that it is rape. it is never your fault. please tell someone
hope that this helps and good luck

no