iam 30 years old, i have borderline personality disorder, but my psychiatrist has accepted i have symptoms of PTSD to.
i have had a very hard, tough, unfair, traumatic life...more than most which i accept......not many people have been through my pain, which makes me feel on my own, singled out and by myself...in a catagory of my own.
i have suffered physical and psychological bullying the ' majority ' of my life....throughout school...growing up.
i missed out on the oppurtunity to form any relationships with either male or female...missed out on employment...education, qualifications. etc.
i have been going it alone all this time.
i have survived assaults, head injuries, muggings, street attacks...sexual abuse as a kid...i have very low self esteem...feel unworthy towards everyone.
i isolate myself for days, weeks at a time in my small flat, i panic and have palpatations at the thought of having to go out....im only going out when i have to....loud noises frighten me. its like i feel frightened, terrified to go out, like something will happen to me...frightened of people and whats outthere.
im even not answering my phone or opening any mail, i just shut myself off and am only going out when i have to, to pay bills etc.
i live on state benifits and am very poor, dont own any possession except my old computer.....ive always been on benifit, which i dont feel good about.
i feel ostracized and alienated and persecuted by people...people are standoffish with me...plus ive been socially rejected to.
i feel their doing this because of my rage and aggressive outburst of the past where i would lose control in public and humiliate and embarress myself.
people have been standoffish and aloof with me for a long time...and im not completley sure why..
i feel very frustrated because even after everything ive been through, i still have goals and dreams, i want to move back to france or The problem is, you're a Y!A troll. Why are ou not working with a doctor or counselor? I am sure you'd qualify for free services, if you don't have enough income to cover it. A professional is the only person that can help you answer these questions. And on top of that, you sound like you could really use their help, anyway - I don't mean to offend you, I just mean that you sound like you're struggling. it sounds like you've had a harder life than any one i know sorry . if you wanna talk send me a message :) you think you are special and unwilling to admit you are just like everyone else.
thats the way we all feel. we just deal with it, get on with our lives and don't blame the world for our own unhappiness. I suggest you print out your own questions and take them as is to your Doctor, he will I am sure find help for you in the world of Psychology. You need to be a grown up and put your past behind you and move on right now.
My life hasn't been a breeze either. That's just life, so get used to it!
I bet nobody has told you to quit living in the past and wollowing in self pity, have they?
I bet your head shrinker just prescribes you pills to make you better and listens to you talk about all your problems that you blame on how you were treated in the past.
GET OVER THE PAST AND MOVE ON AND QUIT BEING A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its your life and it will be what you make it to be. Treat each day like a new day and a new start and quit having a raging pity party. Ill pray for you. Without realizing it you're pushing others away so you'd better expect them to leave you sitting alone.
Remeber this... what you envision most comes to you. So start looking at life differently. I have an anxiety disorder. It kind of rules my life a bit. Fortunately I haven't been through some of the awful things you have, but I can understand the fear and how you feel when you have to go out. What I do is have a back up plan.
For example if I was going to the shop which is just up the road, I'd plan that if I got half way and had an anxiety attack, I'd turn right back round and go home. I'd also use the breathing exercises which keep you from overbreathing oxygen (which makes you feel light headed). Luckily I have made it without any attacks.
As for the low self esteem bit, I think that will be built up again as you start to regain your life back, which you will with enough help and support, determination and courage. You CAN do it :)
I'm sorry I can't offer any more advice, but if you need to talk or anything then feel free to email me
good luck with everything and remember, you are more worthy than you think. There are some really awful people out there as you know, and you are worth a million of them
HVD <3 Your main problem is that you do this "......" too much. You don't have to type like you talk, you know. Look, I don't mean to be rude, but you post this same question every day. Every...day.
We are not doctors. We cannot help you, even though we'd like to. Seriously. You are not helping yourself by posting the same darn thing every day...a doctor is not going to magically pop up and be able to explain your problems to you.
You need to get professional help. Here is a link to a site that helps you locate professionals in the UK. Good luck and farewell.
http://www.bps.org.uk/bps/e-services/fin... I'm not trying to be rude, but you sound like you are wallowing in self pity right now and it would be best (for your own benifit) to stop. You will be never get better if you can't admit to yourself that 'hey okay, these things happened to me, but NOW I can change the way that I live my life from this day forward!"
trust me when I say that others have been through just as much, if not more than you have. you are not alone, you just think you are. And you know what else? if the people you used to know are standoffish towards you then '******' ya know? don't bother with them. Do what you said and make a new life for yourself. And if your therapist is not helping you then get another one! Alot of therapistst think that BPD is untreatable, so they don't even try to really help. But that is not true it is totally treatable and can eventual go away. You just have to have the right tools to get you through this. Look into cognitive therapy and I also suggest you start reading self help books on your own, and get into a therapy group as well, it's good to go to therapy with other to see how their lives are actually very comparable to yours, then perhaps you won't feel so alone. best of luck, I know you can get better. 1.Keep respecting yourself.
2.Increase your self-esteem.
3.Keep contact with your psychologist/psychiatrist to get therapies
4. Back to no1 | 