Flashbacks Won't Go Away?

Almost now a year ago, I was sexually assaulted by a good friend of mine. It was a painful experience that I thought was only being done in good health. However, once it got physically harmful, I realized how unhappy I was and that something needed to be done. I suffered a lot of verbal abuse from this boy along with sexual, though I was not raped. I am only fourteen and this boy was told he cannot come back to my camp and I cannot speak to him. However, I went to visit my friend in NYC and we met up with our friend Dan who is friends with him as well. In a movie theater, while he was high, he took advantage of me again except this time going down under. I was shaking and crying in the bathroom but I couldn't tell anyone until I told my friend later at her house. I made it like it wasn't a big deal, like I probably led him on. But I was shaking so fast while he was doing it, I couldnt imagine how he didnt realize. Only after did we learn he was very high on marijuana. Lately I keep hav

ing scary terrible flashbacks. They come at random times and they literally make me start tearing, if it's in class or crying when I'm at home. I don't tell anyone about them and I feel that people see me as this strong girl who just shrugged this off. But I am being effected and the flashbacks are killing me. It's of every pain I went through. His tongue inserting my mouth. His hands pinning me to the ground. I want them to stop. I need them to stop. I feel like I am going crazy. I am so sad. Help. Please.

I am so sorry Dylan Eve just remember I will always be here when you want to talk you can call me anytime and I will listen. I will always be there , and if we were in Harry Potter I would preform a memory charm on you but sadly this is not an option so I will be here. Also if I wish I could have been there to prevent it , and if i ever cross paths with him I will make sure he is hurt as much as you were . Bye love you sista.

You need to tell a trusted adult about this and perhaps the police. Your parents need to know. This is not your fault you have been attacked just as much as someone who is beaten up.Beyond this you should find a therapist with experience treating women who have been sexually assaulted

i think that something like this needs to be dealt with by a professional - why not talk to a school counselor, or nurse.

please do this okay?

Peace+

first off i am truely sorry this has happened to u like u being assulted i was raped, and it has taken alot out of me now i am 14yrs old also it happened when i was 12 the best way to deal with this truama experience is to tell someone nomatter how uncomfortable it is and trust me weither u tell someone on a piece of paper or u tell them in person my advice to u is to always let it go on a piece of paper and just let it out nomatter what, i am terribley sorry this has happened to u tho. just tell someone ok.....best of luck sweetheart!:(remember u are not alone ok!just so u know they will always go on but the best way to handle the flashbacks is to always know u can talk to me or to know that u are not alone!!!!!

I wish i knew how to make those go away but I'm sorry i don't. I am soooo sorry that you had to go through that. I am 13 so we are around the same age. I would tell your parents if you haven't already. When I was 11 my best friend was sexually assaulted by her uncle. She was going through what you are now. Whenever those thoughts come to her she thinks about something good that makes her feel better. What you need is good friends who will be there for you and you do need to tell someone. Again I am sooo sorry that you had to go through that. If you want someone to talk to e-mail me at tacosnlettuce29 and I will gladly be there to help make you feel better. So sorry

so he didnt rape you and you allowed it? and he went down on you? why didnt you scream or push him away? am i missing something

Sweetie go to the police now he can not be aloud to get away with this. If it was my daughter i would want her to say something. This is terrible and you should at least tell your parents or a responsible adult you can trust.

Men/boys like this should not be aloud to get away with this its really sad and you should do the right thing and tell the police because if he does it again he could really hurt some body and that somebody could be you.

Do it now hun.
Take care and be safe. x x x x x x x x

Sweetie, my best advice is that you tell your parents. If you feel like you can't talk to them, try a teacher or a school counselor. If school is out, then maybe a family member. You need help. It was not your fault, okay? Never go around this kid again. If he shows up with other friends, tell them you are leaving and call your parents, or even the police if you have to.

Best of luck to you.

ok. this is a hard thing to answer. if you did not consent it is assult. he was off his head on drugs so he felt it was ok. he prob didnt realise what his strenght was or what he was doing. it was wrong and you have a duty to protect yourself. go to a doc or talk to some person ina rape centre( i know you werent raped) or some place like that. i was abused too, but mine was a family memember.i am never gona say it to family for obivous reasons. but trust me talking to someone you can relate to is a massive help. i cant state that enough. also my mum was nearly raped and my best friend was raped repeatly by her uncle for years. if you want to contact me do.galwaygirl1@yahoo.com