Whenever I get sad, my friends/family get angry with me...?

I've had some bad experiences in the past. I've been abused, hurt, ignored, raped. I've had to move around a lot and leave many friends.

The friends that I still have, I value a lot.

I still get sad about the past because I've never been able to get proper help (because according to my Mum I just need to get over it).

Whenever I'm sad a bit about my past or something else everyone gets so sh*tty with me. They tell me off for being sad. It's like I'm not even allowed to feel upset about what's happened.

How can I get around this? I need to be sad sometimes.

Oh how famous is that saying " get over it".It is your Mum who needs a REALITY CHECK here. What you have been through is a lot for anyone to deal with. Your Mum should have been the parent here and taken control and taken you to the appropriate therapy to deal with this. If you do not deal with this then you are going to have so many issues further on down the line, trust issues, relationship issues, the list goes on and on. This does not have to effect the rest of your life Hun OK so dont let it, if youre Mum wont help you, you go to the Dr yourself and tell him you need help, take a friend with you.You have to get this out and you have to be allowed to do so. Shame on youre mum I am sorry but she is not doing her job here. I am proud of you for having the guts to come on here and ask for help.

welcome to life of a man, we are never allowed to be sad feel sad or look sad

People have a hard time dealing with sadness. If they feel they can not pull you up and they become frusterated. You have told your story and they do feel for you.
The thing is they do not like to feel down in the dumps. You may feel intitled to show your grief but they loose their own since of glee by trying to cope with your problems.
All they really want from you is for you to feel better.
Best of luck

You need a psychiatrist because he(she) will give you the right to be sad, trust me.

About your valuable friends I suggest you to leave them all.

For your family problem I have to say that keep fighting with it.

Strengthen your soul for circumstances are always difficult.

There are several reasons they might get angry:
a) They might feel helpless because they can't help you stop feeling sad
b) They may blame themselves because they couldn't protect you
c) You let it rule your life
d) You are making your grief/sadness their sadness because your behaviour may be impacting on the whole family
You said you aren't able to get proper help...I assume you mean a professional psychologist or counsellor. If you search, and the internet is one of the best ways, you should be able to find some sort of recognised support group that is not going to cost you money.
I question your 'need' to feel sad sometimes....please don't feel as though I am not validating what you have been through, but what I am wanting to ask you is why you feel the need to be sad. By being sad you are just reliving what you have been through and letting it take over your life, even if it is only sometimes. What you need to be doing is to recognise what you have been through but take from it the things that you can use to give you strength.
I will be honest with you, because sugar coating the truth will not help you. When you allow yourself to get sad about it, you are giving in. You are not learning to move on, and that is something that we all have to do. Sometimes it is easier to throw our hands in the air and feel that it is all too hard, but that achieves nothing. It is better to overcome our issues and live well. We develop the habit of wallowing in self-pity because that is how we are used to behaving but the results we get now are not as sympathetic as they were at the beginning. And quite rightly so: we can't inflict our pain on others continually to the point where it affects their quality of life, particularly if they weren't the ones responsible for inflicting the pain on us in the first place.
Seek out some mental health support groups - GROW is an international group, but I am sure there are many others. Learn some strategies for dealing with your 'down' times. I find writing to be catharthic, but other people use meditiation, community work, etc.
Good luck. Nobody deserves to be treated badly, but as Eleanor Roosevelt reputedly said:
'Other people can only make us feel bad because we have given them permission to do so'

Being upset is a human emotion. You have dealt with so much already. I think you should start a journal. When you feel depressed you should write the positive things you faced so far. What helps for me is making a column of things for me and against me in my life. When you see what youre fighting for written down it lifts you up. Being sad sometimes is normal and it helps you resolve the regret within. Ignoring it is just burying it deeper.

Dear Asker!

We all feel sad sometimes. Sadness is a normal emotion that can make life more interesting. Much art and poetry is inspired by sadness and melancholy. Sadness almost always accompanies loss. When we say goodbye to a loved one we usually feel sad. The sadness is even deeper if a close relationship has ended or a loved one has died.

Sadness alsohelps us appreciate happiness. When our mood eventually changes from sadness toward happiness the sense of contrast adds to the enjoyment of the mood.

Here are some ways to experience normal sadness in a healthy way and to allow this emotion to enrich your life:

Allow yourself to be sad. Denying such feelings may force them underground, where they can do more damage with time. Cry if you feel like it. Notice if you feel relief after the tears stop.

If you are feeling sad, plan a sadness day.Plan a day or evening just to be alone, listen to melancholy music, and to observe your thoughts and feelings.





Planning time tobe unhappy can be actually feel good. It can help you ultimately move into a more happy mood.

Think about the context of the sad feelings. Are they related to a loss or an unhappy event? It's usually not as simple as discovering the "cause" of the sadness, but it may be possible to understand factors involved.

Sadness can result from a change that you didn't expect, or it can signal the need for a change in your life.Change is usually stressful, but it is necessary for growth.

Know when sadness turns into depression. Get help if this happens rather than getting stuck in it.
Get help if you experience more than a couple of the following symptoms of depression:

Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood
Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism
Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness
Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyed, including sex
Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down"
Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions
Insomnia, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping
Appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain
Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts
Restlessness, irritability
Persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain.

Hope that may help you!
Good luck!

They get angry because they are so frustrated and unable to help a loved one that is so sad. They do not fully understand, and feel completely helpless. If you want help you are probably going to have to get it for yourself. If your parents don't appear to agree, tell them that you are getting help/therapy so that you can move on form your bad experiances, as you cannot do this on your own. Be honest with them, good luck.

Hun just do what i do when I'm sad and sum one gets pussy with me tell them to **** off, life ain't easy but you do just have to deal, and make do with what you got, my mums the same way she tells me that big girls don't cry, shes been telling me that sense i was 4... but what four need to do is tell these people that your not just going to get over it and that you have to remember get sad every once and a while so that you can get over it even though you never truly will u will never forget and you will never be the same as you were before the **** happened, but that's life

My mom was like that, too. Honey, I really am sorry those awful things happened to you. You're not alone. There are a lot of us out here. But you do need help. When I was a teenager, I couldn't trust my mom or dad to help me. So I had to go outside our nuclear family. First I went to relatives who listened but did nothing to help, and then I went to a school counselor. You could do that, or another adult that you trust. You might be experiencing PTSD. Believe me, it does not just "go away;" I wish it did. The sooner you get help, the sooner you'll feel better. Good luck and much love!

Read this story. Hope it is helpful!

Cheers!