Likes to be sad?

I am a guy in my late 20s.I really loved a girl and had a relationship for 3 years and later she left me.It hurt so much amd evem after more than 1.5 years it still hurts, it not a unberable pain i have but a suble sadness and she comes to my mind also.

My counseller tells me, and i also agree, that i subsonsciously try to keep her memories and likes to be sad about it.I mean one shoud be over somebody after 1.5 years,specially after being treated like dirt.

This happends without my conscince, but i dont wanna be sad like this,its crippling my life.She is gonr i dont care now, but i wanna be happy and move on my this sadness that make me unmotivated.

could any one please suggest anything to overcome this?..should i use medicine?..drs have hinted it might be cuased by a chemical imbalance still i wanna live my life !!!!!!!!!!!

Sweetheart, I'll tell you exactly what my grandmother told me a hundred years ago when I was going through some of the same emotions over a man that I had loved with all my heart who had not felt the same way after all... it takes one to get over one. She was right as rain, too. Good luck!

go out. find another girl and stop clinging to the past so u can have a boombastic semi-fantastic future.

This may sound strange but some times a person has a feeling that if they are sad over someone they feel that person knows it and will feel sorry for them and come back. In reality of course this is not the case. I do hope you are able to move on. A new interest, change of places get out there and meet people. Good luck to you.

dont do any meds, you will be hooked for life ! stay away from that chit . If you want to make it go away just find another girl - that will make it go away fast

or find another passion

I went through the same thing 3 months ago and was also treated like dirt and had the fear of beeing beat by him so i left the pain is gone but i had God and great friends to help me. and they are still helping get friends and go out forget her there are great people out there.

A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step. Train to participate in long distance events such as running, canoeing, cycling, triathlon and many others. You will never look back.

Yes, go for a medicine. What you are experiencing is "obsessing" over the situation. The more times you use a neural pathway, the better that pathway works; therefore, the more you obsess, or repeatedly think about, your feelings over this obviously resolved issue, the more often you go through the circuit, the pathway, that leads you to the location of sadness in your brain.

Also, if you wanted to be sad, instead of being less sad, you would be MORE sad everytime you completed the circuit. That's just a platitude.

If you are absolutely dead set against meds as anything but an absolute last resort, I have general answers that do help if you can pull yourself up by the bootstraps enough to initiate them:
1.) Excellent sleep hygene including a bedtime ritual that signals your brain to begin shutting down for the night.
2.) Improved nutrition including no "white" sugar, flour, or sauces, no caffine, and no alcohol. Forget even thinking about illicit substances.
3.) Thirty minutes of walking every single day, reguardless of weather or mood.
and 4.) Fifteen minutes of sunlight on your face (no sunscreen or hat) every morning as soon as you rise.

I haven't the discipline. I take 37.5 mg Effexor extended release every morning, and I can generally function. Right now, I'm totally insomniac, but I'll stay awake all day and try to get my act together again tomorrow.