Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

My fella has taken to spending maybe 20 hours a day in bed and claims that he has SAD.

I'm not saying that it doesn't exist, but he is generally a lazy swine and i feel as if he is trying to get away with it as there are people out there with it.

His dad says that he had it, so that strengthens his argument "its genetic".

I'm just not one who believes in all these convenient mental issues... even if he feels a bit more down in winter, people feel sad about different things throughout the year and they don't get to sit in bed.

So i don't know what to do...

How can i get him out of bed? How can i discover either way if he is genuine or not?

I'm becomming more and more irritated by him lying around every day...

How about leaving the lazy sod?

he IS sad

Buy him some minutes at a tanning salon. That's the "cure" for SAD... it'll get him out of the house and show that you're trying to care.

I assure you that there is nothing 'convenient' about mental illness.

I can't say for sure if he's making it up or not, but if he isn't then he needs help.

Consider getting him counselling or light therapy.

SAD is not genetic, I suffer from it and I just get lathergic and and depressed at this time of the year... I think your fella is taking the PI**...

Get him sorted

SAD is not genetic. SAD actually affects a lot of people though, generally when its dark and cloudy people dont feel as happy. Tell him it only makes it worse if he lays in bed, he needs to get out go for a walk. I was diagnosed with major depression about 3 years or so ago and the worst thing to do is lay around. And since SAD isnt as bad as depression its easier to cope with if you go do something

As much as you dont want to believe it, it really could be SAD. I found this at mayoclinic.com:
Risk Factors for SAD:

Although seasonal affective disorder commonly begins in young adulthood, it's uncommon in people younger than 20. Some studies show that it's diagnosed more often in women, but that men may have more severe symptoms.

Data about how common seasonal affective disorder is and who is most likely to develop the condition are lacking. Some evidence shows that factors that may increase the risk of developing seasonal affective disorder include:

-Northern locations. Some evidence suggests that seasonal affective disorder is more common among people who live in higher latitudes 鈥?or farther from the equator.

***Family history. Some studies have shown that people with SAD are more likely to have family members with the condition. But research about a potential genetic component has been mixed.***

There are some very simple treatments to SAD that do not involve prescription anti-depressants.
St John's Wort is a natural herb that has bee used to treat all forms of depression and does not have serious side effects and is not habit forming. You can buy it at any drugstore or health food store.
Light Therapy is another no intrusive form of therapy that has been successful in treating SAD.
Used together this such get your bf out of bed unless he truly is a lazy swine.

I have been badly depressed in the past and my ex-wife and daughter thought I was a lazy so and so-I spent hours in bed too. One of the symptoms is a complete lack of energy. If you haven't suffered with depression then you won't understand. I will say bed is not the best place to be. One has to fight depression with the aid of a doctor, exercise, change of behaviour, taking a personal inventory of past behaviour-- writing down our resentments and fears and wrongs towards others and Then talking to a trusted person about them-preferably a counsellor to start with and then definitely a Minister/Priest. Making amends comes next.
Depression-my sort is actually anger turned inwards-self punishment really. It is a lousy and painful illness to have because all thoughts are negative.I believed that I didn't deserve to be loved. That is a painful place to be.
It is an illness so please be patient with him.

tell him you don't believe him and you will leave him soon if he keeps it up.

SAD is a genuine illness, though neither I nor anyone else on here will be able to diagnose your partner for you.

You have obviously never suffered from any kind of mental illness or your comment about them being convenient wouldn't have been made....... believe me there is nothing at all convenient about having mental health problems, they can be debilitating and stop people from functioning.

Did you know that 1 in 4 people will suffer from some kind of mental health problem during there lifetime?

This link to the Mind website will give you information about Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) -

Understanding SAD
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Bookl...

the information is easy to read and understand.

The best person to diagnose your partner would be his GP, and he may be able to offer some kind of treatment to help. If he is genuinely suffering from this type of illness he needs help and support.

As for the staying in bed, I can tell you that many people do in fact find it impossible to motivate themselves to do even the most basic and simplist things when they are suffering from severe depression..... I know, I have been in that situation.

Hope this helps and educates.

These ridiculous mental issues are created for profit - it's the medical and pharmaceutical corporations that profit. The hippocratic oath is dead and drumming up business is the name of the game. Out of the many disastrous side effects, you are seeing one: giving people an excuse to be a certain way because it is a "disease" or "disorder" and therefore they are not at fault and can't help it.

A disorder is NOT automatically a disease - it is simply a problem that results in a life out of order. Some problems are bonafide medical (meaning they can be proven through blood test, xray, etc) and some are just other problems. There is no way to prove an unproveable problem so you cannot discover if he is genuine or not. Your problem is not whether or not he has a problem. That's obvious. Your problem is that you are becoming irritated that he isn't doing anything to solve this problem or learn to function in spite of it.

Is he harming you with his lack of action or could he potentially do so in the future? For example, would you be stuck with the bills, the work, and the childcare for months out of each year of your (potential) marriage forever? Are you paying his bills now? Is he at least trying to collect disability to pitch in and doing a great job of helping you or getting things done during the 4 hours per day that he is not afflicted?

Just because his father claims it does not mean that it's "genetic". Genetic means biologically passed down through the genes. Well, there's no scientifically valid medical test for SAD so there's no way to know for sure if it's truly medical and, hence, inheritable. Perhaps his father is a lazy bloke. Perhaps he learned the habit behaviorally.

If your fella is doing everything possible to correct the problem and you are not being harmed by it, then consider helping him out, but don't put yourself in a position to get hurt (don't marry him until he has proven to be cured or has a plan b so you aren't hurt, don't move in with him or pay his bills). But if you suspect that he is "generally a lazy swine", then you have to either cut him loose or accept that this relationship isn't going to be a reliable or dependable partnership.

You can't change him. You can only accept him or leave him. I had a lazy swine once and I finally had to leave for my own sanity and financial safety. He's still mooching off of other girls to this day. Good riddance.

lazy sod

i get SAD (im not from this country and am used to a lot more sun) so it really does exist

i HOWEVER do NOT spend extra time in bed. i excercise i eat healthily and i try and enjoy the few good days during winter.

if he really has SAD, try using a lumie body clock. they are great

The best way to beat it is lots of outside exercise get him up and out why not join in?