Rape.. shouldn't I be better?

I was acquaintance-raped a little over a year ago and I'm still not "getting better". I go to therapy once about every other week, but it seems like it's not enough. I didn't file charges or go to court, and I'm mad at myself for not standing up. I can't find him now because his number was changed and he lives a state away from me. I'm suffering from Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome, Depression, Social Anxiety, and Manic depressiveness.. all of which were caused by the rape. I lost a lot of my friends because they were all mad at me for it, and my guidance consulor told me it was my fault., my parents don't support me anymore either. I've tried to put it behind me but I randomly breakdown crying and have panic attacks.
I missed alot of school last year because I was too sad to get up and function, I also never did anything because I couldn't concentrate and felt so overwhelmed. So this school year, I'm behind on so much and I have no idea how to catch-up. I'm 16.
When will I be fixed?.

I am incredibly sorry to hear what about what happened to you, and shocked at the lack of support from your friends and family. You have my sympathy, and I wish you the best in your efforts to heal after this terrible experience.

Most people here had great advice (except the troll, who I hope you will ignore.) I don't have much to add, I just wanted give you the link to RAINN. They have a 24/7 hotline, as well as a page where you can find a rape crisis center in your area. The counselors there are specifically trained to help you deal with what you've been through, (whether it happened a day ago, or year ago ) and it might be helpful in addition to your current therapy.

Best of luck!

You can't put a time limit on your feelings...
This pain your feeling...go to a support group
Believe me, it will help...
Especially if you can't get any support from your friends and family....
Get help from a support group NOW...
As in right this minute...
You will get better but it's just going to take some time
for you to sort out your pain and what you're feeling....
Also,
go to your church or temple or wherever you go for religious purposes...
Talk to your higher power and go to the support group...
Also take up some really fun hobbies...
The beginning of the healing process starts when you start living again...Good Luck and my prayers are with you....

All you need is to be happy about yourself. Try reading jokes and laugh about it. Don't remember the whole rape thing and focus on your work. You can ask a friend to help you catch up on your school work by asking him/her for his/her notes etc. Remember that you are against rape now, so if there is any rape topics, you should stand up and fight back!! Good luck. =)

I'm not a psychologist, but you won't be 'fixed' until you come to terms with what happened to you.

For an alcoholic to begin recovery, they have to admit (to themselves) that they have a problem. You are in a similar position, but it requires a resolution of the issue and an understanding of what happened.

Your therapist should be outlining the steps needed to help you toward recovery, if not, find another that will.

One of the hardest lessons I've learned so far in my life, was facing adversity head on and not giving up. When you heart and brain are telling you to be on defense, go on offense and face your challenges directly.

Best of luck with your recovery.

First - you survived so give yourself a pat on the back. Many don't.

Second - it wasn't your fault and anyone blaming you should put themselves in your shoes. The ONLY one to blame is the person who raped you.

Third - healing is a very personal thing. Each person is different. I think healing is faster when you have a good support system - friends and family, which it doesn't sound like you have. So its you and the therapist against the world, so to speak. Its a long uphill road but first I think you need to convince yourself that you deserve to be fixed. So many times, after such a horrible act, the victim doesn't feel like they deserve to be happy - especially if you are at all feeling like its your fault.

You're making the right moves. I would talk to your therapist about perhaps making your sessions more frequent and perhaps even talking to a phsychiatrist about medicines that could help you snap out the depression and start moving forward.

Remember its not your fault - no matter what others say. Remember you are worth so much more and deserve to be happy and healed. Keep repeating it to yourself until you believe it. Perhaps join some group therapy too where others who have dealt with similar situations can help support you. I can't stress enough what a good support system can do to speed the healing. If your family and friends can't be there for you - then find people that can - and no one can be there for you like someone who's literally been in your shoes.

I hope your road to recovery speeds up soon. Best of luck.

you had sex with some guy and regretted it afterwards and so then you call it a rape.... how convenient. and now you're blaming everything that goes bad in life on your poor decision. soldiers in Iraq who witness their peers get blown up into a million bits have PTSD. let me guess, if your dog dies, you're gonna somehow blame it on the 'rape' too. i bet your lack of concentration probably has to do with your laziness. your counselor was right; it's your fault so start taking responsibility for your action.

You'll be fixed when you're ready to be fixed. I'm so sorry that this happened to you; please don't feel alone. Speak to your therapist about wanting to meet maybe twice a week, and ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO PRESS CHARGES. It is not, will not be, and NEVER was your fault. The police will know how to find this guy. Also -- talk to your parents. Try to mend the relationships you have, and form a new support group, like joining a church, temple, or other form of spiritual help.
Be strong. You can get your life "back on track," but not by forgeting and "being fixed." Focus on the future and try to accept the past and move past it. I hope you find the help you need.