I live in europe and I see many men still living with that typical attitude towards women and sex. I was reading about sexual violence and I've heard before that its about control and violence and not about sexual urges. on some website I've just read that there was a study of rapists and 90% of them said they like enjoyable sex rather than violent, sadistic sex.
I know its about control cause a victim cant stop it and rapists like when they have control over the victims. I've been reading survivor stories a lot too. arent sexual urges and disrespect causing rape? in movies I've seen how they like pleasure and in few stories I've read that victims were used for their pleasure. why rape isnt about control, violence and sexual urges? why is it only control and violence? or is it just a secret mission to change the view of the rape, so the victims wont feel like sex toys? I always thought rape is about getting sex through a violent way. in the stories I read victims felt like sex toys. I even read a poem of a girl and she said something about his pleasure. I'm confused. There are said to be three different types of rape. Anger, Power, and Sadistic and they are broken down like this:
Anger rapes- this type of rape expresses hatred towards the victim and rage. This type of rapist wants the person to feel and understand his anger towards them, even though they may have not been the one to provoke the rage they need to take it out on someone and make them suffer as he has for past wrongs and rejections.
Power rapes- this type of rape wants to express power and domination over the victim. These rapists have a common fantasy of women who want them and resist there come-ons and then consent to sex. So when the fantasy is acted out and the victim doesn鈥檛 cooperate the fantasy becomes more about the domination or taking control over that person. In this way he is showing how very powerful, masculine, and sexually adequate he really is.
Sadistic rape- this rapist is obsessed with the ritual that goes along with the sex. This could be making the victim act out a part in some sort of role-play, it could involve mutilation, or torture as a means of getting the rapist excited. These rapists are the ones that wake women out of a dead sleep, scared to death for their lives.
Other types of rape include stranger rape, acquaintance rape, and marital rape.
Stranger rape- are rapes enacted by someone that is known to you.
Acquaintance rape- are rapes by someone that you know. This is where date rape falls into play.
Marital rape- is the rape of your spouse. It was once thought that once you consented to a marriage that you were obligated to serve your husband in any way he saw fit and this meant sexually. But since the early eighties we have been passing laws state by state to try and change is control a man has over the sexually activity in the marriage. First, there are a lot of misconceptions regarding rape. in general, when most people unfamiliar with the realities of the crime tend to believe that it is a crime committed primarily by strangers and usually done outdoors or is a parking garage. In fact, only about 2% of rape is committed by a stranger and less then 4% are committed outdoors. More then 57% of rapes occur in someone's home, more then 1/4 of rapes occur in the victims home.
That said, the reason Violence and control are often sited as being the motivation is because many rapes (more then 40%) are commit by people either currently in or recently out of a sexual relationship with the victim. (Husbands, steady boyfriend, ex-boyfriend.) slightly more then 37% of rapes are by friends. (16.5% are casual friends, 10.8% are acquaintances and an amazing 10.1% are close friends.) However, in many cases, these friends are either in a relationship with someone or have recently broken up with someone with whom they were sleeping with, and there were no instances of rape in the previous relationship. So, pure sexual lust is not the major motivation. No one I know will say that sexual intercourse is not part of the motivation...obviously, is sexual intercourse occurs during the rape, it is part of the motivation. However, it is not the primary cause of motivation behind the rape; meaning that a typical rapist does not think to himself, "Hmm... I think I want sex, let me go rape a woman." Nor would his thoughts be, "Oh wow, she's hot! I think I'll rape her." More often then not, it's a heat of the moment thing that results from anger, many times from rejection. A common progression is often some sort pre-existing attraction. This may not be a physical attraction, it could be an emotional attraction or simply some form of fascination. Many times, anger is introduced into a situation. Be it some for of rejection by the female or something as trivial and unrelated as a favorite team loosing on the field. This anger builds until it is taken out on the woman. (or occasionally a man) This can be something as simple as a long term unrequited affection then builds until anger causes the man to snap and commit the rape or something as complicated as a man with serious issues who believes certain woman need to be controlled or taught a lesson. The reasons for the rapes are as varied as those that commit the crimes, however, anger and a deep need to control a situation is a common factor.
Now! All that said, this does not take into account most cases of statutory rape and 'date rape.' In the case of statutory rape, control is almost always a major contributor, but so is sexual attraction and desire. Likewise, with 'date rape,' anger, usually due to rejection of sexual advances, is fairly common, but control is usually far more typical, but sexual interest IS a major motivating factor. The boy or man wants sex, the woman is either unresponsive, uninterested or due to a personal choice, unwilling to engage in sexual activities. The boy feels jilted and so decides that he is going to have sex anyway. (sometimes he thinks the girl is playing hard to get, sometimes, he just doesn鈥檛 care.) Anyway, the end result is that he has sex with the girl without her permission. Sometimes, boys will use date rape drugs GHB, Temazepam or other drugs or alcohol to render woman unconscious and then have sexual relations with them. (rape!) Some men will even use lies and the promise of gifts to woo woman into sleeping with them. Of course, when the man's lies are discovered, the woman feels slighted but this is not often provable as rape, since the standard argument is, "So you were willing to sleep with the Defendant if he really had given you X? (a diamond ring, five thousand dollars, a new car, a back stage pass to meet Disturbed, etc...) When the woman says yes, the defense attorney points out that sex in return for money, favors or gifts is prostitution and so basically it wasn't rape but really a business deal gone sour and should not be dealt with in criminal court.
I hope this helps you understand rape a little more, and I sincerely hope you never understand it any better then you can read about it.
~~ Don't listen to those liberal egghead psychologists, and their attempts to explain it. |
