RAPE help?

i was rape when i was in thrid to fourth grade now im 22 and i have alot of hate inside me im very insecure about myself where can i get help

There should be a sexual assault place you could call. I live in portland Oregon. There is two that I can call. For past and new trauma. I will give you the number and you could call them for help. 1-800-640-5311 if that does not work try 503-640-5311 or you can call 1-800-rainn and they well transfor you to the closes one to you. that hotline is for every kind of assault so don't be alarmed when you hear it all. they are all VERY helpful. They are all females that you talk to. I have been though past and new traurma and they are great. They help anyway they can. I know this is hard. I feel the same as you do. Please let me know if this helps you I might have other inforamtion for you.

Talk to your doctor, a psychiatrist or find a support group near you...

Here is a good place to start
http://www.rainn.org/

you should seek a professional counselor. my friend was raped and she hasnt been the same since... she has improved but only with professional help... i will pray for you.

first pray and ask god to take the hate out of you and find other ways to be greatful for like do you know how many children have to die because they knew tha one that did it or how about there parents knew that the man was doing it but did nothing so that chid shot her self in the head and died all because no one would listen but it sound like people hear u but they have not showed u how to deal with it try to pray and think about the children that did'nt live to be that age that you are

Your name is Francisco. Meaning you're a guy and you're saying that you are rape? By the way my answer is try to forget that thing although it's really hard. Try to join different activities just like a band, choir, etc. to help yourself be comfort.

it's good that you're seeking help. Try getting yourself involved in some form of counselling or therapy (weekly or fortnightly) for a minimum of 4 months. it's not just a matter of making one or two phonecalls. Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) could be helpful for your insecure feelings.

It sounds like some professional counseling may help you. Try finding a psychologist or couselor in your area. See your doctor if you need a referral. There are also a lot of rape victim support groups that you might want to look into for some support.

Take it from another victim of this disgusting crime, YOU NEED TO GET THIS OUT. The later on in life that you don't talk it through or deal with it, the more harm it will cause you. Find a therapist that is a specialist in that field and work on this ASAP!
P.S. Not any therapist will be the one for you. Remember to "shop around" and find the best therapist that suits your needs. You need to be heard, feel at ease, and most importantly, get the right feedback on how you will live with this memory without it destroying your life. Best of luck :)

Hello Fransisco
I am sorry for your pain. You need to go and speak to your Dr he will send you to a rape councilor or a therapist who is specialized in this area.You need to do this or this hate and anger inside you will eat away at you and you will never get rid of that , it can then manifest itself into all areas of your life and cause you so many problems throughout your adult life. This therapy will also give you back your security and self esteem and teach you how to deal with all your feelings and most importantly that this was not your fault, No human being has the right to violate another human being the way you were violated. I wish you luck and please go and gt some help Hun.

My standard post follows: Go to http://vaonlinesupport.org/support.html and www.rape-victim-support.com and http://www.rainn.org/ Call (USA)1800 656 HOPE Report the rape to the police as soon as possible: don't even shower (even though you may feel an overwhelming urge to clean yourself), and save all clothing, and anything else which may be contain DNA, or forensic clues. Many perpetrators are brought to justice this way, and removed from society, so that they can't inflict themselves on others. Also, the fresher your memory of the events, and description, the better. It may help to have a friend, or relative with you, to provide support, at this time. The very fact that you have done all you can reasonably do, is often an important first step in the healing process. You don't have to testify in court, if you don't want to. Your statement, the results of tests, etc., are often sufficient by themselves, but, if you are feeling able to cope, your testimony is often helpful to the prosecution, and personally cathartic, although many, quite understandably, prefer to avoid any additional stress. Depending on your area, there may be rape crisis centers, hotlines, or women's refuges/shelters where you can receive counselling. Some find further therapy helpful, later on. Be aware of the possibility of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, as well. Flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty sleeping, and just staring blankly for long periods of time are some symptoms. For more PTSD info, treatments, and links, see http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris on pages 33 - 34. Hate will fester inside you, and you need therapy to treat it, so contact your county/local mental health agency, ASAP.

I can hug you.
*hugs* :]

Praise be to Allaah.

The Arabic word ightisaab refers to taking something wrongfully by force. It is now used exclusively to refer to transgression against the honour of women by force (rape).

This is an abhorrent crime that is forbidden in all religions and in the minds of all wise people and those who are possessed of sound human nature. All earthly systems and laws regard this action as abhorrent and impose the strictest penalties on it, except a few states which waive the punishment if the rapist marries his victim! This is indicative of a distorted mind let alone a lack of religious commitment on the part of those who challenge Allaah in making laws. We do not know of any love or compassion that could exist between the aggressor and his victim, especially since the pain of rape cannot be erased with the passage of time 鈥?as it is said. Hence many victims of rape have attempted to commit suicide and many of them have succeeded, The failure of these marriages is proven and they are accompanied by nothing but humiliation and suffering for the woman.

Islam has a clear stance which states that this repugnant action is haraam and imposes a deterrent punishment on the one who commits it.

Islam closes the door to the criminal who wants to commit this crime. Western studies have shown that most rapists are already criminals who commit their crimes under the influence of alcohol and drugs, and they take advantage of the fact that their victims are walking alone in isolated places, or staying in the house alone. These studies also show that what the criminals watch on the media and the semi-naked styles of dress in which women go out, also lead to the commission of this reprehensible crime.

The laws of Islam came to protect women's honour and modesty. Islam forbids women to wear clothes that are not modest and to travel without a mahram; it forbids a woman to shake hands with a non-mahram man. Islam encourages young men and women to marry early, and many other rulings which close the door to rape. Hence it comes as no surprise when we hear or read that most of these crimes occur in permissive societies which are looked up to by some Muslims as examples of civilization and refinement! In America 鈥?for example 鈥?International Amnesty stated in a 2004 report entitled 鈥淪top Violence Against Women鈥?that every 90 seconds a woman was raped during that year. What kind of life are these people living? What refinement and civilization do they want the Muslim women to take part in?

The punishment for rape in Islam is same as the punishment for zina, which is stoning if the perpetrator is married, and one hundred lashes and banishment for one year if he is not married.

Some scholars also say that he is required to pay a mahr to the woman.

Imam Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

In our view the man who rapes a woman, whether she is a virgin or not, if she is a free woman he must pay a 鈥渄owry鈥?like that of her peers, and if she is a slave he must pay whatever has been detracted from her value. The punishment is to be carried out on the rapist and there is no punishment for the woman who has been raped, whatever the case. End quote.

Al-Muwatta鈥? 2/734

Shaykh Salmaan al-Baaji (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

In the case of a woman who is forced (raped): if she is a free woman, the one who forced her must pay her a 鈥渄owry鈥?like that of her peers, and the hadd punishment is to be carried out on him. This is the view of al-Shaafa鈥檌, and it is the view of al-Layth, and it was also narrated from 鈥楢li ibn Abi Taalib (may Allaah be pleased with him).

Abu Haneefah and al-Thawri said: the hadd punishment is to be carried out on him but he is not obliged to pay the 鈥渄owry鈥?

The evidence for what we say is that the hadd punishment and the 鈥渄owry鈥?are two rights, one of which is the right of Allaah and the other is the right of the other person. So they may be combined, as in the case of a thief whose hand is cut off and he is required to return the stolen goods. End quote.

Al-Muntaha Sharh al-Muwatta鈥? 5/268, 269

Ibn 鈥楢bd al-Barr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

The scholars are unanimously agreed that the rapist is to be subjected to the hadd punishment if there is clear evidence against him that he deserves the hadd punishment, or if he admits to that. Otherwise, he is to be punished (i.e., if there is no proof that the hadd punishment for zina may be carried out against him because he does not confess, and there are not four witnesses, then the judge may punish him and stipulate a punishment that will deter him and others like him). There is no punishment for the woman if it is true that he forced her and overpowered her, which may be proven by her screaming and shouting for help. End quote.

Al-Istidhkaar, 7/146

Secondly:

The rapist is subject to the hadd punishment for zina, even if the rape was not carried out at knife-point or gun-point. If the use of a weapon was threatened, then he is a muhaarib, and is to be subjected to the hadd punishment described in the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

鈥淭he recompense of those who wage war against Allaah and His Messenger and do mischief in the land is only that they shall be killed or crucified or their hands and their feet be cut off from opposite sides, or be exiled from the land. That is their disgrace in this world, and a great torment is theirs in the Hereafter鈥?br>
[al-Maaidah 5:33]

So the judge has the choice of the four punishments mentioned in this verse, and may choose whichever he thinks is most suitable to attain the objective, which is to spread peace and security in society, and ward off evildoers and aggressors.

See also question no. 41682

And Allaah knows best.

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