What do i do after rape?

It has now been 6months since i was raped by a stanger and i cannot deal with it. Three weeks ago i moved into university accomodation and am living with people who i dont really know. Do i tell them about the rape or shall i just carry on pretending nothing happened? I dont want to make them feel awkward around me but i cant stand it when they joke about things like rape. If they knew then maybe it would be easier, but at the same time it could make it 10times harder. What are your thoughts of what i should do?

I was raped when I was 14 by my step-brother. I knew that he had taken something very special from me, we didn't have rape centers, or counseling services, unless you went to a State Hospital. The rape eventually led me down a course in life, which should happen to no-one. When I reached the age of 40 I then learned there were places where I could get help and learn that: You are not at fault!
You did nothing that made you deserve to be raped!
He is the one to blame!
You cannot go back to where you were before the rape happened.
You didn't cause it, You can't change it.
Only by going to a therapist, and getting involved with other women who have been raped. Can you help yourself to deal with this horrible thing that happened to you.
Aways Remember This: YOU SURVIVED!!!

You should be seeing a counselor.

Anyone who jokes about rape is not a friend. Be polite around them, but ignore them.

All universities have counselors on staff. Please go talk to the one at your school. Right away.

please go to the police and go see a dr. or a someone of that nature. don't keep it in. more you keep it in the more US WOMEN always have to hear people down play rape.

Get to a rape crisis counselor NOW. Find one online or check your yellow pages. Rape is something you shouldn't have to deal with alone. It's not too late to file a report either. Just because you don't have the physical evidence doesn't mean you shouldn't report it. Maybe your description & physical characteristics would help get this person and prevent another woman from being attacked. Please get yourself some help!

how u get raped??
was the fellow caught??

more info needed (parents know about this???)

tell police and get the mothfuk caught

you cannot change other people, and it isn't fair to expect them to change because of something that happened to you and was in no way their doing. You need to change your behavior and put this traumatic incident behind you...if you cannot manage this on your own, I suggest you seek therapy.

don't tell them yet. you need to get some counselling and you need to work on moving on with your life. as long as you are feeling like this you are still a victim of this disgusting man. You need to tell yourself that when it's all over you will NOT be a victim anymore. Get some counselling, keep a journal of the journey - you can always burn it afterwards if you want, tell only people who you can completley trust, and work through this. I know you can do this, don't let this scumbag take away your life.

when they talk about it, make an excuse or walk out of the room and don't stay and listen to it. when the time is right you can tell them.

GO TO THE POLICE AND HOSPITAL!!!!!!!

I hope you already have. And you need couseling. I am so very sorry for your experience, but now you need to get your life back. Consult a rape therapy/clinic. There in every community. You need all the support you can get.

Otherwise, you're never gonna heal. Do it for yourself. You deserve that and more.

im so sorry that happened to you first of all. Please talk to someone. You will feel so much better when you get it out. As for your roommates, you dont have to tell them if you dont want to. Talk to an objective person like a counselor or school nurse. Even a friend from home? Dont keep it all bottled up

I am sorry that some sick bastard has put you through this but I think you need to speak to someone who is trained in this situation alternatively you can talk to one of the student advisor at the uni who will support you.

The first thing you should do is get some good counseling. Don't just take the advise from this answer page. Except mine of course, to go to someone who can give you some real answers. And while you're at it, ask GOD for some answers too. Good luck.

Well they shouldn't be joking about rape to start with. But it is really up to you if you want to share your story with them or if you just want to make the comment when they joke about it "there is nothing funny about rape, you would know if you went through it"

keep it to yourself...they most likely won't care anyway...the next time the joke about rape put them in their place...no one should joke about stuff like that...just say i bet if your mother was raped it wouldn't be such a joke! that will make them stop.

good luck and hold your head high...it will be ok

You need to see a councillor urgently. If you didn't report this incident to the police at the time, it is a bit late to collect evidence, but they can record the details, particularly if you know the name of your attacker.
However, you do need to speak to a professional about this to receive the correct information and help to carry on your life with the minimum of further upset.

If you want some middle ground, perhaps tell them someone close to you was raped and you would appreciate it if they wouldn't joke about rape. then if they seem to be caring and want to talk about it with you you can decide if you want to tell them it was you.

I hope you are using the counseling services you can get at most universities to help you with this as well.

Best wishes with your recovery.

I hope that you went to the hosiptal and call ed the police to make a report on it first of all. You have been through a very tramatic situation and you need counseling to help you get through this. Talk to someone that you feel comfortable with and please seek help. It will be a lot better on you in the long run. May God Bless.

tell them and you need to report it to the police that way it dont happen to someone else. if you tell them then you will feel better and they will probally stop making jokes about it!

have you really being raped? coz if i were being raped i would go to the police immediately and tell my mother.

tell them and if they joke about it then you know that they are not your friends.

let d past be past...for others it can nothing more than a news..ol that petty details...will make u sick....so y take a chance ....u can just move out or change the topic....

i have a friend who is going thru somethin similar. she only tells people who she wants to tell and can trust. its your choice who you wanna tell. if you trust someone enough there you can tell them and they can get the idea out that not to joke around bout it or say things bout it w/o saying that you were the one raped. if you feel comfortable enough to tell them all then go for it, jus do what you feel would be best for yourself. good luck

I completely agree with the above commenter. You need to see a counselor. People tend to be insensitive about things they have no clue about, primarily concerning rape or racism, etc. It is not wrong of you at all to bring this up to them and if you're not comfortable with saying you were raped, then just tell them politely that you really arent comfortable with them joking about rape and leave it at that. If they have any sensible bone in their body, they'll respect that, and you.

Good luck!

Find a counselor and speak with them on this matter.

Most people are judgemental and some can be heartless when it comes to this topic.

When they start talking about it just excuse yourself and go do something else.

It is obvious that you need to talk to someone about this crime against you since you are the victim. So do the healthy thing for you and seek out professional counsel.

Did you contact the police about this?

You should definitely seek out therapy for this, and get help in learning how to cope and recover as best as possible.

As for the living situation, if you think you can trust these people, tell them! If they're really good friends, they should support you and not joke about it anymore, and help you as much as possible. If you don't trust them, maybe you should tell them anyway. They may still be understanding of your situation and not be so cold hearted as to keep joking about rape. Its a very serious problem.

You should look for a counselor or someone of the like that knows how to help you, and that you can see regularly

Hi there. Maybe it would be best to talk to somebody. It does not have to be a room mate, but if you feel it would make a difference just let them know how uncomfortable it can make you feel when they talk about it. I can not begin to imagine how you feel, but please feel free to contact me if you just want a chat to get things out of your system. Take things slowly and maybe as you get to know your room mates better you may be able to explain things to them. Take care.x

are u seeking any sort of counseling for this? u really need people that u can talk to...i think it would be better if they knew....next time they joke about rape (which by the way isn't really something to joke about so i don't know why they do it)...u need to tell them what happened and that it really upsets u when they do this....it is not good to hide ur feelings and keep them bottled up inside...cuz in the end...they will end up effecting ur life moreso than now...do u have a close friend...someone u can confide in...u know to talk about ur feelings...i'm really sorry anyone has to go through such a horrible thing..i wish u the best of luck in starting over....if u ever need someone to talk to u can email me anytime =)

You should find the number to the local rape crisis center in your area, counseling is free, and often times conducted by women who have been victims as well. You should be able to find the number in the local yellow pages under social services. The university or college you are attending should offer counseling as well. All services/conversations are confidential... I would not share with others that you do not know very well and must share a living space with, this may make for a even more uncomfortable situation. Please seek some help to assist you in dealing with your feelings. Very Important... Good luck and God bless****

tell an authoritive person like a police man or a counselor. get some help!

I feel for you. It is better that you do not tell anyone until you trust them. Talk to the Uni counsellor if you want to talk about it. good luck. x

I was raped by four strangers when I was 18 -- and that was 40 years ago. It will never go away completely. I did not get counseling or any kind of help and this has always haunted me. Recently I was watching TV and the subject came up. My significant other was sitting at the computer with His back to me. He heard me sniffling and turned around and saw the tears falling down my cheeks unchecked. He immediately turned off the computer and took me to the bedroom where we lay on the bed while He coaxed the story out of me. He was able to comfort me, did not condemn me, and fianlly made me realize that the rape was not my fault. I feel infinitely better now, but can't help but wonder if I would not have been better off seeking help immediately after the rape? Please see somebody and don't suffer through all the years as I have. I don't know the circumstances surrounding your rape, but I guarantee you it wasn't your fault. As for telling your roomies? I would. Just so that they know and will be more sensitive to you and your needs. Maybe one of them is living with that or something similar in their own life and the two of you would be able to offer each other some comfort.

Good luck.

I am really sorry that this happend to you. The first thing you need to know, is that this was not your fault. You can get your feelings across with out telling them about it. You can tell them that someone close to you was raped, and you don't find it funny, and want them to stop joking about it. Don't feel pressured to elaborate. If they persist, then try to find alternate living arrangements. Also please talk to a counselor, or clergy. You don't have to be a member of that church to talk to someone. There is a great organization that can help you explore all the resources available to you. It's called the National Center for Victims of Crime. Here is that link: http://www.ncvc.org/ncvc/Main.aspx PS You're not just a victim, you are a survivor.

Tell somebody. If they joke about it that means you are better than them.