Could this gay excitement be caused by the rape?

What do you think?
What do you think?
First of all, I want to warn you that I don't need someone to feel sorry for me!
I am bisexual woman, but having sex more often with men than with women. I was raped about 3 years and half ago. After that my attraction to the women it's getting lower and lower everyday ( and I was said to expect the opposite). And my feelings and my sexual life with men didn't change at all. But I began to be really curious about men homosexual relationships. Gay movies started to excite me, the best sexual excitment to me is to imagine two men having sex ( I am usually imagining a younger and very beautiful man who is passive having sex with man 15-20 years older than him). I began to think the love between two men is stronger than any other love. A friend of mine, who knows about that gay excitment (but doesn't know about the rape) told me that I am like gay man stuck in a woman body.

Could this gay excitement be caused by the rape?

I think it could be, yes. It might not but it is certainly a possibility.

There are lots of reasons why you might be finding it stimulating. Perhaps there is an unconscious part of you that sees this and feels a heightened state of awareness that could have its basis in revenge, of some sort. I don't think I'm explaining myself properly, but it might be a reaction in that sense. It might also be a natural curiosity, or perhaps as you say you're bisexual, that you have the knowledge of lesbian relations and that you wonder about gay male relations and how they compare to what you've experienced either with men or women.

There are a lot of different reasons, and it isn't unusual for women to fantasise/enjoy watching something like this, as it is for straight men to watch two women sometimes, or for a straight woman to watch lesbians and so on - things that we may not want or be able to do can stimulate us, and that is common and normal.

yes

its true u r a gurl in a mans body

Satan has a way of luring people into the macabre, or unknown, and taboo situations...I was raped violently, and almost died from it thirty three years ago...but I forgave the man...some of you might think that is 'sick' of me, but it is what God asks us to do and in my heart, I knew it was right...back in those days, YOU were almost always the reason it happened, not like to day, where the victims have rights now..It didn't make me go to watch gay movies, or go towards women, or anything else..I had to remember that I was a victim of Satan's evil world, and nothing else..forgiving the person was the release from Satan's bondage I needed...Anything taboo and unusual can be a turn on, anything can...but...get your self right with the Lord,...and get away from sexual deviation, before something happens worse to you would be my advice, and I speak from experience...and to Sabina...I never needed counciling, and have gone on to be happily married and wanted to share that peace with you, that is all...Good luck...wasn't trying to upset you...