I think I'm losing it...?

I'm not sure if I'm having severe anxiety or if somethings actually wrong with me?!? I smoked from 16 to 26 and a few months ago started worrying about lung cancer/ COPD so I quit smoking. I was worried something might be wrong with my heart also at the time, so I went to doc who gave me EKG and blood test, said I was having panic attacks and perscribed me wellbutrin. Recently I'm also worried there is something wrong with my house (I know I'm sounding crazy now) so I bought a carbon monoxide detector, and a radon test, etc... I think I'm cancer riddled or something, it's like I just realized my own mortality. Lately I've felt like my throat is closing, I'm not sure if its allergies, COPD, something with the HVAC in my house, or if I'm actually just going crazy. Not sure what to do anymore.

Anxiety can be very debilitating, I have before thought so hard I was dying that I have just collapsed into a heap in my bed and not moved for days and I assure you every bone and muscle in my body ached and hurt and reconfirmed I was dying. I have thought I was having a heart attack to the point that I get chest pains, I have thought for sure since I smoked for 20+ years I have lung cancer, and with those thoughts come the chest pains and shortness of breath, so since I have the symptoms I must have the cancer, right? Well the blood tests, the ekg's, the chest xrays, the ultra sounds, the stress tests, they all say NO.

So how do I deal with it you say. I just say "STOP" when I get overwhelmed with the anxiety ridden thoughts, I just say STOP. I get busy with something, anything to get my mind off Of it,, it whatever IT happens to be at that moment. Then, pretty soon, I notice the chest pains are gone or the palpation's have stopped or I can breath a little deeper, Oh yeah , I forgot the headaches, that are surely from a brain tumor,, they go away too. Anxiety can take control of your body, but once you learn to control it, you can overcome it. and .... you can do it without meds!

good luck.

Su

Your not "losing it" you are showing symptoms of paranoia. Try seeking advice on that. You could search on it, ask here, or have your MD refer you to a shrink.

all I can say to you is the post by sudenim is excellent and you should follow her advice. Also seek professional help.

good luck

Paranoia is what you have and we call you also a worry-wart. The difference between OCD and Paranoia is that OCD is a constant rechecking of things and it distresses your life. OCD example- you have placed a carbon monoxide detector in your home would be if you go to that detector every 3 seconds and push the retest button to make sure it's working or if you stand there looking at the detector making sure you see the red light is on and working is what would be considered OCD. Now, to differ it from paranoia is that the detector has become defective cause you don't see the red light on or the red light is blinking and you think that it's an indication that fumes are foaming or the batteries have died and you place them with new batteries but the next day you change the new batteries again cause you felt the ones you used was from an open package so you went to the store and bought a new package and placed the new batteries in that detector. Another example of that detector for OCD would be that you take off the detector cover lid and look at the wires making sure they're all attached and you do this for 5-10 minutes than you go sit down than you get back up to the detector and take off the lid and recheck the wires to make sure they're still attached. This is how I would help describe your difference of paranoia and OCD which both illness can lead into panic or anxiety. I have both illness but I don't recheck I just have an OCD for paint. Sometimes your worrying could be normal. As for the throat closing is a sign of anxiety and stress. You're stressing on simple everyday stuff. If you have a good EKG and your health than take this time to enjoy it or you may worry yourself into a stroke or heart attack. Yes, anxiety can kill you. Now, this isn't to make you more scared but to face the reality of death. I know cause my paranoia is death. I suggest you get into a support group of others with anxiety, OCD, paranoia or mental illness. I see a Therapist weekly and at my last visit she helped me distinguish between OCD and paranoia. This is why I gave you my explains. She told me that if your worry or OCD distress your life than it's a problem and need help. Do some reading about anxiety, OCD, paranoia or mental illness. This way you can feel safe and be able to smile, laugh, live....