Does anyone know anything about Borderline Personality Disorders?

I am concerned an ex girlfriend of mine may suffer from a borderline personality disorder and is not having it treated. We are still in touch as friends

We broke up a few months ago. She ended things out of the blue but 3 wks before we broke up she was telling me she loved me. 2 wks before we broke up she said she wanted us to live together

On the evening she raised us breaking up she was talking about things we would be doing together in the summer

She refused to accept depression as an issue or have counselling but has a long history of clinical depression. She had anorexia and bullimia as a teenager (10 yrs ago) and self harmed in this period.

She had a sexual relationship with a woman that lasted 2 yrs although she had never been with a woman previously and says she never will again and is not bisexual.

Her moods varied massively and from day to day. She often raised uncertainties about her life (from us to her job) and changed her mind all the time.

Any thoughts?

Also, she suffered from very low self esteem and was often negative about her looks. She also was very changeable in her mood about things in general.

On depression, she has been prescribed prozac but won't have counselling.

There are many different disorders that could classify with those symptoms. Bi-polar, clinical depression, as well as Borderline personality. I think you may on the right track though. She really should get help. With all of those options, there is a serious chance of her committing some type of self-harm, and next time it may not end so well. Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Her family or even talk to her about getting help? Any type of Mental health disorder if left untreated can be dangerous. Prozac can work well, but it is also a very old drug. There are a lot of new ones on the market now that can help as well. Speak with her family, and if there is no one, you may be able to speak with a Psychiatrist in regards to her. If the behavior becomes dangerous, they can help you to get a court order giving you temp. custody of her and make her get help. (This is only in extreme cases though, and if she doesn't have any family) Get her help, ASAP. It is obvious she cannot be happy like that, and may even, in the end, thank you for what you've done.

I advise you NOT to attempt to diagnose your friends, since it will be a huge imposition on their privacy and will likely enrage them.

If you want a friend to get help, the best way is by being a good listener, asking questions about how they feel, and suggesting that they could feel better if they took some action. Suggesting, not nagging or being pushy.

Since your friend has already been diagnosed with clinical depression, she most likely already understands that help is available and the ways in which to contact a doctor or support group. If she refuses to have counseling or take her mood disorders seriously although she has a long history of them including self-harm, there is nothing else you can do for her besides remain supportive of any effort she makes to get help. Inventing new diagnoses is no more likely to incline her to seek therapy than her old diagnoses did.

I know a lot about Borderline, because I myself suffer from it, along with OCD.

I can tell you, that if she doesn't get this treated, her life will be pretty hard.

Borderlines, are really in it for themselves, it's hard for them to keep relationships, they are extremely irrational, often will commit suicide or harm themselves out of spite. Have love hate relationships with everyone and everything.

It's really hard to deal with them. I know this now, because I've accepted treatment, and sought it myself. I couldn't live that way because I'm married and have children.

People with this disorder can love you from the bottom of their heart, but can dis attach them self from others immediately because they are hurting you. It can hurt them, but they have to be the one to get the last laugh so to speak.

I know that I will hold out and hold out, no matter how much pain it's causing me if I know it's hurting the other person 10 times worse.

Borderlines are very manipulative. They can fool you into thinking they are ok, and they didn't mean what they did, and so on.

Ask specifics, I can give you good honest answers.

You poor thing, you sound like what I put my boyfriend thru! She sounds like Bipolar, not Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm am Bipolar/Manic depressive. Your question & details are a direct copy of my medical charts. One day I'll be telling him go find someone else who'll treat you better, the next day I want to buy a house & move in together. All the medications for mental health have taken away my libido & I feel he's missing out but on the same token, he's had two heart attacks & his medications have given him ED. It's difficult since he lives across the street & we both see each others activities. Like you, he has remained through it all whether when he calls I say "I Love you" when I hang up or "BYE" or worst yet screen his calls when he can I'm right here. Mental illness is an awful disease for the person DX'd & the family & friends surrounding him/her. Good luck

Hi
I am sorry your struggling with this friend and yes i think you may have hit the nail on the head with borderline personality disorder i suffer from it myself but have been stable for sometime now i suffer from other mental health problems as well. The hardest part in treating borderline personality disorder is getting the sufferer to accept her behaviour is due to the condition. It is not something to be ashamed of and cannot be helped it is hard to get the right support but once it has been found and an appropriate drug regime found the prognosis can be good. Prozac did not suit me it made m mood swings more pronounced so i would recommend she goes back to her dr and tried other things often anti psychotics are of benefit. there are infinite resources on the net and id rather not say which sites are better than others as it is unfair i am not a professional. the best advice i could give is for her to seek advice from a Dr and for her to learn to accept she may have a recognised problem

If she is indeed BPD, then you will never be able to force her into treatment. It has to come from her, and she has to seek treatment for her own benefit. Other than her trying to commit suicide and being sent to the hospital, there is little you can do to get her into a hospital. We are great for denial and stubborn as hell about treatment. Support her, but don't enable her -- the last thing BPD is co-dependance; that is half the problem for people who suffer from it. When it is disrupting her own life enough to make it difficult, then she will look for help; albeit that is a long slippery route, unfortunately. You could try to stage an interventio, but really, as an adult..... you can't force people into treatment.

As for symptoms, there is often a sense of real or imagined abandonment. I.e someone doesn't show up for a meeting on time, you automatically think they did it on purpose to leave you and you panic. A loss of sense of self is huge too -- they don't really know who they are. One day they are a poet, the next day they are trying out for the olympics. Often they have no clue what they are doing in life, but mostly about who they are. Always changing hair, or clothes. BPD also suffers from "chamelion" behaviour -- you change your personality with different sets of people to fit in. You are often the life of the party.

You love people and hate people. One day they are a god, the next they are pushed away from your life and demonized because they upset the BPD sufferer. Relationships are rocky, because BPS suffers can come off instable and people get sick of their often manipulative behaviours. Most often, the sufferer has no clue they are manipulating. There is incredible emotional instability and they fly off the handle for the strangest trivial reasons often: plans change, so you get angry that they have done that to you since you had everything planned, then you get angry and think they did it on purpose, so then they feel bad that they've made you upset and apologize. The ups and downs are similar to bipolar, but they can happen within hours, or minutes. I know I have been crying one minute, and the next, I'm laughing and have forgottten about the hysterical incident.

Then there is engaging with dangerous behaviours -- be it overly spending, or sex, or self harm. Many people with BPD have had or have eating disorders.

Alot of this stems from the inability to have validation of their feelings in childhood from w/e reason.

Don't try to diagnose her, and tell her she is suffering from these things. From my own experience, they get self-righteous and blame everyone else for the behaviour. Some will stop taking medicine just to prove you right, and will often cut you out of their life completely, for even hinting at something being wrong with them.

Every BPD that I have met, only started to get better, when they themselves made the decision to get help.

EDIT: as well, if she truly has Bipolar or BPD -- get her off that prozac... it exasperates the condition.

I have bpd and she sounds just like me!sorry! If this is the case, a mood stabilisor such as depricote would be more suitable, prozac will only treat depression and therefore is the wrong drug.