ANyone know anything about personality disorders?

I was diagnosed with it 10 years ago when I was in the military. I was released soon after. But I was never told what type of personality disorder I had. As a child my life was like a storm. It was like I was thrown in so many different directions. I was taught to hate black people because they where black. As I got older I realized how stupid it was to hate someone simply because of the color of their skin. I was abused in every way. No details necessary. As an adult I have a very difficult time with relationships with other people. I have a constant anxiety that people are talking about me behind my back. As a teenager I was taught a double standard. I was allowed to do certain things that most kids where not allowed to do. Like getting drunk and things like that. But The people around me said I was this "evil" person because of the music I listened to. "Drink all the beer you want but Metallica is Satan's music?" Confusing huh? I have a difficut time with trust.

I am doing better (I think!) At least things seem to be looking up. I just got a new job and a new car. Everwhere I have worked nobody has complained about me slacking off. I have always been a good worker. But I have lost my temper and as a result, been terminated from my last job. It is hard for me to trust and respect authority. I am always suspicious of those in charge.

Based on what you describe, a likely diagnosis is Borderline Personality Disorder. Childhood abuse and emotional neglect, as well as chaotic and unpredictable and non-nurturing environments lead directly to ways of coping that become maladaptive later in life, despite their importance as a survival strategy in early environments where you were trapped. An excellent book describing the dynamics of Borderline Personality is "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me".
It's a difficult task to try and change the schemas we learn growing up in families where there were destructive dynamics prevailing, but it is worth the effort and you sound as though you have both insight and motivation to tackle it and that's all that really is required alongside a willingness to seek therapy. Therapy for this seeks to provide a corrective experience in interpersonal relationships and to teach you skills that weren't exposed to in an unhealthy family.
Good Luck and hang in there-it really sounds as though you have also got some really good coping skills to build on!

See my answer (and other's) to Angeldust, above you.

Check out the sites and then seek professional counseling.

Marcia

It could possibly be something like borderline, or you could fall into the category of personality disorder NOS, which means that you have many different characteristics. I have BPD, and one of my main problems is with trust. I find it extremely difficult to trust people, because it is my experience that just about everyone in the world is out to screw you over..

check the DSM 4 indications about the symptoms!u may forget 2 tell some details...or some r embarrasing 4 u...so check it by yourself!don't listen 2 anyone here...u cannot put a good diagnose without being a specialist and without knowing everything there is 2 knoww!they r just telling u everything!look 4 the DSM on the net!it will help u!