Relationships with those with personality disorders?

Has anyone had a relationship (friend, lover, family member, anything) with someone with a personality disorder like Narcissism, Sociopaths, Borderline, Histrionic, Paranoid, Avoidant, Dependent, anything? What was it like to have this relationship, were you able to maintain it (and if so, how did you do it), and what kind of strains did it put on you and the other person?

Also, did you feel that anything you said or any therapy they received actually ever helped or changed them in any way, or do you feel that a personality disorder is almost always forever?

I'm actually just curious, don't have any family members or friends with one.

My spouse has Borderline Personality Disorder.

It is incredibly difficult to learn how to share life with someone with this affliction. As you probably know, BPD can be characterized as emotional immaturity. The person with BPD often doesn't think the same way as other people. They can create a different reality.

Part of the nature of BPD is denial that there is anything wrong with the person. The few times that my wife has entered therapy, she has quit after a few sessions, because she sees the therapist as a person who is telling her that she needs some sort of help. In my experience, this denial is one of the BPD traits. Whatever happens is always caused externally, in her view.

It makes life difficult, but, so far, I've been able to stay afloat.

I have learned some coping skills from my own therapist (I see a therapist regularly because I have Bipolar 1). What works for me is to always be careful to stay out of the created reality of the other person. Instead of being confrontational, I have to remember that she has a illness when the behavior gets especially bad.

Very good questions but too hard to answer here. I hope you will continue to do your research if you need to learn about a specific disorder for a loved one, they all come with unique challenges.

Personality disorders do not have to be permanent. Everyone can be diagnosed with a personality disorder.
A smoker could diagnosed as being an addict.

Plus, there are many people who may have mental disorders who are not diagnosed. So, the question should be, "Have you had relationships with anyone who appeared to have a personality disorder?"

My best friend has bipolar disorder and she also suffers from slight schizophrenia. She has been on medication for the last few years for the manic depression and that really relieved the tensions between us. Before the medication she and I were very close but she understood that I reserved the right to walk away at any time. By this I mean, when she became angry or her personality became so far from who she really is, I would walk away for a while and take a breather. I never left her, drove home, etc. but we sat in different rooms for a few minutes to an hour until she felt she had her symptoms under control.

I think it was most helpful that she knew about her disorder, understood it and could maintain this understanding even while she was suffering. She was reasonable when I would walk away from her because she knew she was being hurtful but she couldn't control it at the time. Now that she is on the medication we do not have "time outs" because she does not suffer the mood swings but either way I think our friendship would have been able to work: medication or not.

im 1 of them i think personality disorders

Oh dear. A little study wearieth the mind, soul and body, surely?
we are all, a little something of those things at some stage in our lives, you too!! we ALL have a personality....dis...order???
We need to be very careful who and what we "label".
who says we should all be the same? who dictates what is normal?
some people will sit at a computer for hours....That is NOT normal, surely!!! Some people have homework to do, but get others here to do it for them.. Is that "normal?" some people watch violent movies and wonder why they feel harsh, and hard afterward....is THAT normal? some people "gossip" about others....THAT is NOT normal!! so what headings do we place all thses supposed abnormalities under, pray tell? Mmmm....food for thought, is it not?

Many people in my family have personality disorders, but the one that affects me the most (and I don't know if this counts as personality disorder) is depression. My father got extremely depressed and violent after the death of my mother (I was two years old). My mother also suffered from depression, as did most of her family (manic depression also runs on that side). This has changed our relationship for ever, and I have been somewhat afraid of him for most of my life. My boyfriend of a year also suffers from depression, as do some of his family members. This has caused some problems in our relationship (some to do with medication), but I know that the best thing I can do is just to be there for him. All together, I have seen a tremendous improvement in his mood and general outlook on life since we started dating. I think sometimes people need one person that will take care of them and give them the support they need.

I had some problems several years ago, and I felt that talking to a therapist helped me a lot. However, my boyfriend did not feel that seeing someone helped him at all.

I do think that a personality disorder is usually forever, but that it can be kept in check and dormant for a long time.

Yes, almost always forever and these people should be reserved in the category ACQUAINTENCES NOT lovers, spouses, roommates or significant others. ESPECIALLY the sociopaths because they can stick a knife in you and look into your eyes and smile whle they watch you die and feel NOTHING. There are those in our society who have no business being embraced into "normal" relationships and expected to contribute to a two way relationship. Preserve yourself. Do not compromise yourself into being half of a disfunctional duo. You are dooming yourself and not helping the other person a bit. It's LOSE/LOSE.

yes my boyfriend actually has paranoid personality disorder, which makes him very difficult to deal with most of the time and i am currently wondering whether it is worth it or not
Most times, little comments i make are construed as i am up to something or am cheating, or if someone has complimented me, they are after me for sex, and when i get defensive it is never his fault in which i have the statement ' if im upset its because you have provoked thsi because im healthy and your not", which usually works, because i am able to make the situation laghuable by reversing the terms in which is was brought up
Not everyone is untrustworthy and actually people who shouldnt be trusted are actually put up on pedastools for weird reasons which might be destructive in the sense of why athey are thought so highly of
He is rarely relaxed or comfortable so sexual intimacy is out of the question because cues are often read wrong, and a fight ensues... there is no mystery or flirting or chemistry as everything is always why did you say this or do this... the constant questioning exhausts me to a point where i am rather turned off my it, and when in the narsiccistic phase of the diordr, he is rather demeaning and controlling and at the same time insecure which for most of the female sex is a huge turn off... caring too much and over intullectualizing the situation allows no room for sponataneity, or thoughtfullness on which to go on for no reason as everything must be calculated over and over... ill let you know when i think of more... as for now were on a break because i refuse to be accused, called names, projected upon... and basically treated like **** because someone else refuses to go get help... ive been extremely thoughtful in the stuation as i am dealing with post traumatic stress disorder but i know when enough is enough and people have to deal with their own problems themselves... and with their doctors

One of my best friends has been diagnosed as having schizophrenia. That can be real hard sometimes and she goes through periods where she doesn't want to talk to a single human being. She is comfortable talking about this now so when she feels like that she just tells me that shes not going to talk to anyone for a few weeks or a month and we just take it from there.

I had two other friends with diagnoses of Bipolar. One would just get down right mean and I found out later she was very predjudiced againsted certain minorities (not mine). That friendship did not last. The other one was a nice person in general so that one lasted a long time.

I think it's important for people to realize what is the illness and what is the person. It's the type of person that makes the relationship worthwhile even though it can be tough.