Any advice on perimenopause and aging gracefully? Mature Women who are going through this only!?

I am turning 50 in spring. I keep my weight down, and actually look like I'm in my thirties according to many people. I have read books about the issue, but none of them address many of the problems I'm facing.
One: I had a tubal ligation and I often experience wetness when I sneeze, laugh or cough. Posies DO NOT absorb odors well. I bathe daily and wear fresh undergarments and odor absorbing shields. Still I don't feel fresh throughout the day. I'm not in a work situation where I can freshnen up much. I'm so afraid someone will smell what I smell! Vaginal deodorants are out because I'm too sensitive.
Two: What the heck to do about night sweats. I awaken several times a night due to this and hot flashes. I am not getting adequate rest. Black Cohosh does NOT work. I'm single and can't imagine having a lover accept floating beside me all night!
Three: What's with the GAS! EVERYTHING I EAT causes it. I can't imagine using dietary aids ALL THE TIME.
Practical strategies?

I like the suggestion about the baby wipes. I'll try that.
Many of my friends are experiencing the leaking problem. It is also normal with aging, especially if you have had a ligation. The odor is so strong! I teach so I only get two breaks during the day. One is only 20 minutes and that is for lunch! So there is really not much opportunity to freshen up!
The gas IS related to aging. Both males and females have this complaint! I will try the tums, calcium is good for you anyway, but is it really effective on gas?
I'm afraid of hormone replacement therapy. Too many questions remain about its link to cancers.
No wonder they used to think women my age were having nervous breakdowns! This is really hard.

It is miserable I agree. I'm almost 48 but started this "journey" almost ten years ago (common in my Family) while I was still working. You can get "Wet Ones" or baby wipes in small foil packets so you can discretely carry them with you to the bathroom, if you can't find the little packs buy the regular one's and make your own little zip locks. I know you can get little zip lock bags at crafting stores (beading isle) I like to keep the canisters of them in my home baths too. As far as the urine leakage goes, "Kegal" (?sp) exercises can help with that along with keeping other area muscles in better shape (vaginal, rectal, etc). I had what they call an "A&P repair" (anterior / posterior) when I had my partial Hyst. but it didn't last, leaks returned. Night sweats; I have been using Rx hormone patches for several years so that has lessened. Hot flashes; sorry the OTC stuff didn't work. You may have to do hormone replacement therapy if you're too uncomfortable. My vaginal tissue had started to atrophy (shrink) and I didn't even realize how wide open I'd become until I got on hormones and the tissues all started thickening back up. It helped things.....ya know? Middle aged men should already be aware of these things happening to middle-aged women. Get on with your life. Hope this helps.

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Dear friend, you need to see your physician to start medications to prevent these hot flashes. Apparently you are one of those who have a harder time with perimenopausal symptoms. You also need to get a FSH and TSH run on you to determine your hormonal levels. As far as losing urine, that can be repaired as well. Just discuss this with your physician and do not rely on the over the counter so called herbal medications.

There is nothing wrong with using Tums or Pepcid for excess gas. Nothing to fear about that.

I sincerely hope you seek out a physician. I did and now I am fine. You sound as if you are already aging gracefully. It is hard to go through these changes because no one really tells you about them ahead of time. Such a shock to our system.

EDIT
As far as taking hormones, if you take a small amount such as 0.75 mg, you don't have to be as afraid. The hormones will protect your body against osteoporosis. This is the reason we are placed on them. My mother had breast cancer so I have to be careful as well. If you are having a lot of excess gas, the doctor can give you medication that will eliminate this problem and will tell you which one is best over-the-counter. I prefer Nexium which completely cured my problem.

About the leaking, I forgot to add that wearing those small thin pads during the day, will help out a whole lot. Since your are experiencing this, you definitely need to see your physician. You can get certain types of exercises to strengthen the muscles around that area. I had to do that as well.

You have several issues goin on here.As far as your vaginal odors you need to douche once a month.Your night sweats can be helped by consuming less sodium in your diet and try sleeping with a small persoanl fan.Your gas has nothing to do with your change of life.Have you gone to a doctor lately?Also if you are leaking there is another problem I had a tubal ligation also and i do not leak.If your leaking the doctor can fix that with a simple procedure.

i must say i am Glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better. I see that the pirate theme is back!
While I was in Disney World, I got a chance to ride the new revamped Pirates of the Carribean (sp?). It was really cool how they worked Captain Jack Sparrow into the ride. They even had a guy dressed up as him outside the ride giving tips on how to be a pirate. The kids seem to love that character!
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You should see a female doctor (prefer one in your age group) and discuss the leaking(minor repairs can fix ) and as for the odors, men and women both get changes as hormone levels change, remember when you first started puberty? I know it might sound strange, but a change off diet, lower yeast levels for one can reduce the odors. A low level fan in your room every night, summer or winter, can reduce the effects of your sleeping problem. I am on hrt, and improved 100%, have regular yearly breast scans and believe, for me ,it was the right choice. Good Luck