Is ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) an excuse for bad parenting?

my sister has 3 sons diagnosed with ADHD, when they dont take tablets, and get in trouble, the excuse is, i forgot my tablet, personaly i had a son who was worse, but we persisted with discipline, and corrective action. consequence, hes grown into a fine hardworking resectful young man.
so is ADHD an excuse for parents who cant be bothered, or are incapable, and also good for the attendance allowance. not all cases i agree. but thats why im asking. i dont know.

I think some parents use it as an excuse and some don't. I grew up with ADD (without hyperactivity) and don't believe the medications are a cure all. I don't think the medications are good at all and good discipline and behavioral techniques are a better way to go. I adapted and learned to work with ADD as opposed to using it as an excuse. My teachers always thought I was lazy and didn't want to pay attention. As you know, it has nothing to do with your I.Q., it has to do with how you process information. I didn't find out about mine until I had myself tested in my late 20's. Then I was able to learn how to deal with it and work with it. So, to answer your question, it sounds like your nephews are using lack of medication to get away with things they should be made to take responsibility for. Medications can be used as a tool but they won't control the behavior. I don't believe all parents or kids use the "lack of medication" excuse though. One of my best friends took her son to something called "Brain Gym" to deal with his ADHD because she didn't want to put him on medication. It really worked. Studies are finding the medications can do more harm in the long run than good.

Ritalin is the destroyer of life, dont use it! Im messed up and I took that stuff, trust me ritalin is a destroyer, it messes up childrens brains into mash, like min Report It

In many cases, I think it is, yes. And I also think dyslexia is used as an excuse for thickness.

im only 19 and i was a miserable kid. i think if i had a twin my parents would've shot themselves. anyway, i was beaten yelled at, you name it, it happened and now im working my way towards becoming a paramedic so i guess they did something right. I think parents nowadays just want an excuse for their crazy kids.

I believe that 99% of ADD/ADHD is just bad parenting and lack of discipline in the home. It is easier for a parent to give in to a child's tantrum (instant results) than it is to correct the behavior (long-term behavior modification). Parents today are just plain lazy.

Some parents may use it as an excuse but ADD & ADHD is very real and frustrating for both parents and children.

It can be. it is just a phase i think.

a friend of mine crushes the tablet for ADHD into her sons food because he refuses to take it. he doesnt know about this so it makes it easier for her to get him to take it.

One of my sons has ADHD, is mildly autistic and has OCD. I'm actually offended by these thoughts on here. I know I am not a bad parent , my oldest child is perfectly fine. We've tried discipline, corrective actions and consequence and it didn't work. Some kids just have "bad luck" and it is not their fault that they are born with these horrible disabilities. We dont rely on his meds, we tried having him go without them for a year and a half and it was pure hell for everyone, especially him. (He also goes for therapy, we don't rely solely on meds) He doesn't show remorse for his bad behavior, because he cant, he doesnt know how or understand. I wouldnt have left my job to care for him if I "couldn't be bothered". I gave up my career as a paramedic to care for him and tend to his needs. Does that make me a bad parent?

I think that in some cases parents do use ADHD as an excuse of poor parenting/lack of discipline and allow their children to run wild.
I also think other parents use ADHD as an excuse to drug children into zombies so they (the parent) don't have to do any real parenting.
However, I think that these cases do not represent the majority of children who are truely ADHD. I have 2 sons, the first you would never know had ADD (he is not at all hyper), but the second is clearly ADHD (is VERY hyper). The first was well into school (junior high) before we discovered he had ADD - he just kept forgetting to turn in assignments, couldn't stay organized or on task in school, etc. We had him tested, and he now takes a small dose of Ritalin. The change was amazing. He is not a zombie, but his falling grades shot up to A's and B's. My second son was tested at age 3 (after his preschool recommended it), was found to be at the top 10% for hyperactivity and attention disorder. We started him on medication, and that night was the first night he ever slept through the night (he was 3 1/2). Since he was so young, he has been retested every 3 years to make sure that the diagnosis has not changed (he also had a reading disability which was found and overcome over the years). But if we forget to give my son his medication, we do not allow his bad behavior to go unpunished. We remind him several times of having to try harder, then he goes to his room until he can regain control of himself, and if he does something truely bad, he gets the standard punishment (timeout or removal of gameboy time, etc). Also, they have both worked with counselors to understand what ADD is, and what the medication is for, and we have mad it clear that this disease is no different than say diabetes - it is not an excuse for poor behavior. We also have regular appointments (monthly at minimum) with the psychiatrist to keep firm tabs on the dosages they take as we don't want zombie kids.

I am afraid it is a sign of the times. ADHD is today's answer for bad behaviour. Very few people actually have it.
I brought my daughter up properly. At 14, she turned rebellious. She was diagnosed as suffering from ADHD. At 15 she returned to normal. Amazing, because she received absolutely zilch treatment.

You cannot always blame the parents. The other 2 kids were no problem, yet all 3 were brought up the same. Just one went off the rails.

Personally, I think it is society's excuse for today's youngsters bad behaviour. And they know that the excuse is there.

yes, in many cases.
i've never studied ADHD or ADD, but i've had much experience.
the problems are largely to do with behaviour resulting from frustration in not following or understanding things as others do, or switching off from reason or reality - knowing that they can't achieve what is expected. i feel that many of these people can be helped via dedicated approach and psychology - which is not an easy thing to achieve in the home environment, especially with younger siblings around.

i know many children who are presribed methylphenidate for ADHD, but i have only seen positive results in a handful. one lad i know - intellegent, calm, and usually very well behaved - if you miss his dose by ten minutes, he literally climbs the walls and takes ages to come down again.

i once spoke to a child psychologist about how billy whiz helps this condition, and he explained that it enables them to focus better, or concentrate better on one thing.
having experimented with speed in my youth, i can identify with this explanation. apart from feeling very friendly and sociable, i recall getting into lots of different kinds of music, sinking deeper into the plot of dramas or films, and really getting into games and puzzles etc. whilst on speed.

my worry is that parents do look for excuses, and i feel many of these kids are misdiagnosed and are taking drugs needlessly with potentially harmful side effects....

....sorry, i'm ranting again. i'll go get my pill.....

Generally6, i agree with you. So many children are labelled as ADHD, when all that is needed with the child is ground rules and discipline. there are a number of children where I live who have been diagnosed with this, and knowing the parents, I can definitely say that it is bad parenting and not ADHD. A child needs some structure in its life. I think all too often some parents cannot be bothered , letting the child get away with things to get an easier life for themselves. I tend to think that some GPs use ADHD as a 'label' because this is what a parent wants to hear, not that they are absolutely useless, and to catch a grip!! I worry that medicines like Ritalin and Melatonin are dished out all too readily. A friends daughter was prescribed this initially, but when another GP refused to carry on prescribing saying there was nothing wrong with the child, the mother got the pills from the internet!!

to a certain extent im sure that adhd of a sort does exhist, but parents are so quick to label their kids and thus find themselves a get out claus when they find that they cant commit to intelligent and diciplined parenting.parents are too quick to lay the blame for their childrens behaviour squarly on their children.