Can parents be particularly detrimental to your mental health?

how damaging can these things called 'parents' be? I remember a red dwarf episode in which people from the future finally proved that all our hang ups and neurosis were caused by our parents, could this be true?

Is it particularly bad to live with your parnets past a certain age if so what age do you think is optimum to leave the 'nest' ?

yes i believe this...my dad has said and done some pretty screwed up things. Luckily my husband can understand why i am the way i am sometimes...my dad was a horrible dad for a daughter.

Read the book, "Sybil". That'll answer your question.

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ABSOLUTLY. my parents screwd me up bad. They are very conservative. overly so. Now i have low self esteem and am on anti depressants all the time. Plus have an anxiety disorder. Yes your parents screw you up. leave asap.

Hey! Where'd you get that name?

i do believe parents have a major influence and i often blame mine for what i go threw (depression/eating disorder) for varied reasons...however, no one is perfect...parents are just people who have a baby...there is no rule book of how to bring up a child perfectly...because it's not possible...if a parent is too loving and giving they can be seen to be molicodling, over protective, giving their children high expectations, if they step back they can be seen to be neglecting their child!

where is the happy medium? I do think parents are the major influence in a lot of mental problems but there are many other factors also!

the trick is to be far enough away, they don't control you but close enough to get the home cooked food every once in a while

I think a lot of us spend most of our lives trying to balance out whatever our parents did or didn't do to us. That's just life in the modern age. We no longer have the community/family structures we did before industrialization. I also have a spiritual belief that we pick the people that will high light whatever lessons we are meant to be learning this time around. Think about it- if you actually picked those people to be with, you must be very brave! lol The sooner you can be independant, the better. 18-20 seems to be a pretty good age to move on.

It completely depends upon the kind of parents a person has. Abusive or cold/distant parents are devastating to a child's well-being, as children need the sense of security that a parent's love provides. Of course the damage to self-esteem caused by parental rejection can be huge and far-reaching, even into the adult years. I feel that most (if not all) hang ups and problems adults have can be traced back to childhood in one way or another. Whether they were caused in childhood by parents, circumstances, or other people, they childhood years are the formative years.

For the second question, that again depends on the parents. Being an adult (18 or older), one has usually passed the formative years in which their personality, character, and self-esteem has developed. They are who they are at that age, and less damage can be done by parents. In the same way, for a "damaged" person, only so much mending can be done by the parents after the formative years.

If the parents are loving and supportive, there is no urgent need to leave the house until a) the adult "child" is ready, b) the parents want the "child" out, or c) living at home becomes a detriment to the adult "child" socially, academically, or in their career.

(As a side note, I don't think that it is beneficial or normal - and indeed is self-harmful - to live with parents and "leech" off of them financially if the adult child is capable of bringing in an income.)

Of course they can be detrimental to your development. They can also be the best thing in the world (try to remember the cup is half full). There have been a tremendous amount of studies conducted on any person spending a lot of time with another and their influences. This is not only where your parents are concerned, but anyone that you are around for a long period of time. Especially if it is a person you idolize.

Funny you should ask. At what age did you begin to postulate you parents could be the cause of your cerebral glitches? You'd have to give them some lee-way, after all, you wouldn't be on the Net asking this question if it wasn't for them. You'd probably be typing in gibberish. Still, if you find fault in them without researching their background upbringing first, imagine what kind of parent you're gonna be!

There is no doubt parents can hold power over us wwwway into adulthood. However, we must stand up for our own selves & break free of thise bonds which includes financial. So don't expect to leave hoime & get money from them also. That way theycan't hold any more power over you except what you let thewm. Some parents can be so horrid that it is best to stay away from them entirsly. Good luck.

Yes they certainly can, I will always remember when I was a little lad it was the eve of April fools day l thought that as a prank I would rub a tube of that veet hair remover in my Moms hair while she was asleep thinking she would have a baldy head when she woke up in the morning! I could then pop up and shout April fool!
Not all of her hair came out just some of it, And when I rushed into the bedroom and shouted "April fool" , she went completely bananas , she screamed, ranted and raved for hours, I don't think I ever recovered from the trauma it caused me!!!!

they probably are.

what age? the moment u start thinking about it.

In my case my parents influenced my life I had a very happy childhood was spoilt but not with manners and loved very much the only thing that seems to have stayed with me is that I get up early as my dad would say time enough for lying in bed when your sick or old. My dad is dead now for 24yrs and my mum is 82 and not well but still I love to listen to her old stories at times. I am the youngest. When you think the time is right to leave so any age

How damaging our parents can be depends entirely on the person and what transpires with the parents. As you may be aware there are many forms of abuse ranging from physical to mental and emotional.

I don't necessarily believe that all our hang-ups or neurosis are a result of our parents. I believe they can contribute and influence how we approach things, but eventually, we are the ones who take ownership of these things. If parents have contributed then we can (if we want and recognize it) seek help and assistance to change these things. Could be that our life may not be affected adversely by our parents actions even though their actions may not have been good ones.

Lastly, but not least, there is not such thing as a bad age to continue to live with your parents. It's purely personal choice and, in my humble opinion, when you can't *stand* it any more. :) I have known people who have continued to live at homes in their 40's. I have also known others to return in the 20's, 30's, 40's and more... it's all personal with many factors influencing.

No firm and hard answers to any of your questions.

Its not necessarily a parent, anyone can do damage to a persons mental health whether they are the parent or not. For one person, being around certain people will be like having an infection; an infestation of your well-being that may be cancer. Example: A good hearted woman inside of a maximum security penitentiary.

I recommend leaving whenever you feel comfortable. If your 18, you obviously have the option to "leave the nest". If your parents are troubling you, you should move out.

It is all so easy to say that my parents are to blame for how I turned out. However, at the end of the day we have minds of our own and should speak up for ourselves and not let parents take control.

Both my parents were control freaks and always tried to impose their will on me .... or so I thought. It was not until I grew up and had children of my own that I began to appreciate that both parents were trying to help and protect me. It's just that they had lousy parenting skills. But that was in the days when being seen and not heard were the order of the day.

I moved away from my folks when I married and regret that I never took either the time or patience to learn how they both ticked and what their childhood was like.

This having been said I know that some people are not fit to be parents and have left an indelible mark on the face of their children's life's.

yes they can be reali damaging and they dont even know they are doing it its possible they could be the cause of all hang ups(although this does seem a little far fetched,NOT)
i think when you start to believe what they say without putting up a fight ..... its a good thing to leave b4 den. im leaving the minute im old enough good luck breakin free!!

yes they can mine were not really bad but my mother especially could be a right nasty vicious cow i have had depression since my teens only years ago i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder I'm not blaming it all on my mother but i do think your upbringing and lifestyle do play a significant part in developing mental illness
i left home at 21 i couldnt wait to get out if i had the chance to get out before 21 i would have i was soo desperate to leave home