Dealing with these things...?

Basically, the last few months have not been that great.
One of my grandpa's went to the hospital after a minor stroke and was diagnosed with microvascular disease. My grandma his primary caretaker, has also fallen a lot recently and probably has alsiemer's setting in.

On top of having to worry and travel to care for them, my other grandparents have been going through problems. My other grandma was x-rayed two days ago. They found tumors taking over her liver. She's going through surgery on Monday to remove what can be removed, but the liver is yellowing (failing) already. it's probably pancreatic cancer. There aren't very high hopes for her if it is.

I hate to be selfish, but at the same time, there's me. I'm 18, and graduating this year. Basically, I'm going through the "who am I and what do I do well" process. I basically needed a place to vent, and any ideas to help me straighten out my life other than therapy (tried it. No good).

Thanks for reading.

Yeah. I am not suicidal. The one good thing my religion has done for me. That isn't the problem. It's more of a "going through life without feeling guilty for being alive" issue.

And like I said, I tried talking. It doesn't work. It really doesn't work. Any attempts to make myself happy have to come from me, I understand that, I just don't know how to gain it.

As far as your grandparents are concerned, all you can do is pray for them and be there for them. Let them know that you love them and just do all you can to help them through the final years of their life. I know it's difficult to have to stand by and watch them suffer with their physical problems, but you need to be strong so that you can transfer some of that strength to them in the their time of need. Good luck, dear.

As for you and your trying to figure yourself out goes - well, that's precisely what you need to do - figure yourself out. You don't need therapy. All you need is to try as many different things as possible until you stumble across something that you're passionate about. It may take some time, but it's well worth it in the end. You're young yet and you've got plenty of time to learn about yourself and what it takes to make you happy. Use your youth to your advantage. Afterall, you could be like me. I'm nearly three times your age and I'm still struggling with the " who I am and what I do well " process. Anyway, good luck with this facet of your life as well...

Hope I helped, atleast a little...

That is Really Sort of Sad. I am praying for you and your Grandparents, but the best thing you can do it really consoling, And I almost killed myself yesterday, Becasue my Grandma Died, and Now I am getting consoling my Self, And it is helping, the one time i have went, she really helped. Please DONT hurt yourself, or commit suicide, for the world would suffer without you. Please. Please. You can make it thorugh this, as i did. I am praying for you and your family.

you can vent to me if you need to i wll be happy to listen and give you my opinion

sex. u need sex.

Sounds like someone needs to become AN HERO!

It sounds like you are having a hard time being happy for yourself when others around you are so sick. You need to think about what a long life your grandparents have had and that even though they are sick they would probably want you to plan for your future. It isn't selfish to plan for your future as long as you don't try to guilt the others in the family for helping out your grandparents. You do need to think about what you do well and if you want to go to college to further your education. Take time to go visit your grandparents and talk to them. It is hard when they are sick or in a nursing home but they will appreciate it. Talk to your parents about your plans for graduation and beyond. They are probably dealing with a lot too because it is their parents that are sick so try to help them out if you can.

your just going to have to keep screaming in your pillow, I bet your grandparents are really proud they have a granddaughter that is willing to take care of them when its your time, you will be thankful you did this when your grand-kids are helping you