Mental/spiritual therapy in palliative care?

My soon to be mother-in-law is going to be put into palliative care for her mestacized cervical cancer. She has been deteriorating for a few months now and her mental state is obviously not very good. When she isn't sleeping or dopey from all of the pain medication, she is very, very agitated. She will rarely speak of anything "nice", and we've been trying very hard to be gentle with her and keep positive without pushing her or ignoring her condition. Talking with her is getting increasingly rough. I've read alot about Hospice/Palliative Care and would just like to get a good idea of their "success rate" when dealing with terminal patients, who are extremely agitated, and depressed. We would love for her to be able to "calm down" and let us in a little, or to be able to talk to us about anything. Anyone have the same experience, and if so, in conditions this extreme, were they able to spiritually/mentally guide the patient to a better state of mind? Thank you kindly.

I am going through something very similar, just from your mother-in-laws perspective. I have terminal adrenal cancer. It has been very hard in like ways on my family and friends. My palliative care doctor has been a God send. I don't know how long I would have lasted without seeing her. She immediately addressed the issues like depression that needed to be taken care of. Just by changing my medications and adding something to help with the sedation caused by all the morphine, she helped me turn the corner and feel like I was living my days not dying. We are now moving into Hospice care. My palliative care doctor has put together a great team to help not just me but the whole family with counseling etc.... She now sees me at home and oversees all my care. I wish you and your family all the best. I hope this has helped in some way

She hasnt accepted her disease. Once she accepts it and realizes these are the last days I will see my family, she might be in a better frame of mind. She doesnt have any other alternative but to accept it or go out bitter. Someone might have to get real with her and tell her this. It will be a hard thing to do, but it could change things for everyone in the end. (a nurse)

My dad has liver cancer. He has hospice take care of him. He is not agitated, he just pretends there is nothing wrong with him. If we call and ask how he is feeling, he pretends that he is fine and nothing is wrong. When you ask about the cancer, he says what cancer. We know that he knows he has it, he just does not want us to think he has it. Sort of protecting us.
I think your soon to be mother in law is probably doing the same thing. She is trying to protect you, and she is probably in pain so they only way she knows how is to be frustrated.
Hospice is a very nice group of people. They deal with these types of patients all day, everyday. That is what they are paid to do. They know how to handle every situation and they know the moods that many patients go thru. Talk with your hospice/palliative care worker frequently, they will be able to help you understand your mother in-laws condition and help you feel better and closer around her.

Hospice helps terminally ill people retain some quality of life with aggressive paincontrol andleave this world with dignity. Hospice is called in when a there isnt much anyone else can do to treat a desease. Hospice will send out people to help bathe a patient and a nurse comes out on a regular basis to evaluate and check the patient. A chaplain and social worker are available for the family to help them cope. Hospice is free of charge and provides free diagnosis related meds to keep patients comfortable. They will help with any special equippment, like hospital beds, walkers, oxygen. Chaiplains and social workers will help the family deal with their issues surrounding the dying of a loved one.

Thank God for hospice. My mother who is 89 has pancreatic cancer. They have been with us for 2 months now and it has been very good. Mom loves the nurses and the aides and a social worker and pastor comes also. You must have someone to fill in with because they do not stay full time. But it is so nice to know that my mother does not have to suffer because they furnish medication so she doesn't. I wish you the best in your situation and know that hospice can help. hugs