If you have PTSD and choose not to dissociate, how do you deal with the result?

For a long time I've had PTSD and dissociated. Now I'm doing EMDR therapy which is making me hyperaware of dissociating. When that happens I choose not to do it. You would think that that's good. But instead you feel like you have nothing and you don't know what to do. How do you cope with this emptiness?

I too benefited from the EMDR, and I know what you feel, but I guess my therapist got me thru the rough spots. When I felt like I had nothing and it was all for nothing....I simply looked at what I actually physically owned, and then free associated from there to realize how much it took to get what I did have. I then realized that it was most certainly not for nothing, and that I actually had a great deal....alot to be thankful for and proud of accomplishing.

I have studied PTSD, and what you are trying to describe here is so subjective I don't really get it. The only thing you can do with feelings is feel them, or create something else to do with the energy. I don't know what your trauma is or when it happened, but I do feel that if real healing is more important to you than dwelling on the situation and labeling yourself, you can move past it if you stop making your whole life be about the trauma. Get a life worth living, and you won't have to worry about this mess. If you see a therapist, they have to be more committed to your getting well than to collecting your money.

Just because you try to ignore a situation doesn't make it go away. There are stages to recovery don't give up you sound like you are on the road to recovery you have to go through all of the pain to get to the other side. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong and endure, it will be worth it. Hopefully you have a good Counselor let him/ or her know how you are feeling. Maybe you can start a support group if one doesn't already exist in your area, talking to others that are in your shoes or who once were can be of great comfort. Ask your counselor if there are any groups in your area if not he/she may be able guide you on getting one started.

Man, how do I answer you. Do you know how many you are trying to integrate? Are you just beginning the process?

This is definitely the hardest thing you will ever do. When I integrated I don't think I felt empty, I just mainly felt very confused. I was terrified at all times, mainly because I no longer knew how to act in private or public.

The truth is I never had a good feel of who I was anyway. I integrated about 20 years ago. In some ways I think I am just now coming into my own. You know, what really belongs to the real you. I went through every emotional state from angry to terrified, destructive to so docile I couldn't kill a fly. This is really hard work, but so worth it. I walked away several times and even took several years off because I got angry and thought my therapist was trying to turn me into someone else.

Even though I still see him, it is very apparent that I now am who I was created to be before the horror. He really did just help me get to me.

Try to be patient with the process and trust that the fog will clear and remember you are not losing anything, you are just getting everyone where you can work together, rather than opposing one another.

Good Luck

realize that PTSD is just another way for the psychs to drug you. Don't believe me? Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b30iwhEw9...

See it as a temporary step to help you get from point A to point B after which you will be in the enviable position of being able to create your own reality like you cannot imagine.
You can have and be whatever you decide at that point which is only one small step away. Start planning now what you will choose to include in your life because there is not much time.
Enjoy! Might also be good to start writing your biography. It surely will become a best-seller.

"feel like you have nothing and don't know what to do."
Is it possible you are experiencing a form of numbness.

This is another form of 'disassociation'. Not necessarily a bad thing. Usually the mind will numb or disassociate because it is the best way to handle the emotion or associated thought at the given moment. "it is a protective response to a negative - emotion or thought".

You may need to work through or come to terms with something deeply rooted. My suggestion would be to take it more slowly and learn to let go.

Cognitive therapy and relaxation techniques, may prove to be helpful at this point in your recovery.

There was a book / workbook written about / for PTSD.
entitled: "I can't get over it" (it is an older book but well written and very helpful.) Maybe a library, might have a copy for your use.

Keep reaching out, sounds like you are making good progress. May you keep well.