What can I do for my brother?

My brother (he's 13) was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma (bone cancer) about a month ago and he's already started Chemo. His right knee is about three times the size of his other knee because of the tumor and it's pressing against a cluster of nerves. He'll have surgery Christmas week so we'll probably be spending Christmas in the hospital. He's in pain and he's scared, and he wants to cut off his leg. I don't blame him; if they only replace his knee, he'll never run again and the chance of recurrence is greater if he keeps his leg. He doesn't eat much because he doesn't feel good and he's crabby and demanding. I don't mind his attitude because he's got a right to act that way, I just don't like how I respond to it. I try to be patient, but so far I haven't done so well. I'm going to buy him an iPod so he doesn't get too bored in the hospital, but is there anything else I can do for him? I tell him I love him every day.

This is a very rought time for him and your family. You sound very loving. You aren't always going to say the right thing and I'm sure you will get frustrated at times. I think that is natural. If he ever wants to talk, let him vent. Don't judge what he says, just listen, then give him a hug. All in all, if you keep up what you are doing, you are being a very loving sister.

What a sweet sister you are, all you can do is be there for him, listen to him, and try your best to be patient. don't beat yourself up if you get irratated sometimes, your only human.

You're doing great...just be there for him and dont give up.

Just make sure your there for him, which you seem to already be doing. Maybe get a local amputee who still plays sports and lives an active life to let him no that there are many teams and organisations for people who lose limbs, such wheelchair football.

Just try to make him enjoy life despite the pain and improve his focus on defeating the cancer.. Buying him stuff is great but he needs a larger longterm goal to stay motivated. Does he enjoy school? Keep his mind occupied and discuss plans for the future. Does he enjoy computers? Find something relative to his interests to keep him occupied and focused on the bigger picture.

Also, download iTunes and buy a bunch of games for the iPod you bought him. They have Pacman and a bunch of other stuff that he'll really enjoy!

Best wishes and God willing he'll be healed.

Be the way you are, hun. Be there for him as much as you can. Listen to him, tell him you love him as you do, and little other things. Oh as cheesy as this sounds, board games, cards, um puzzle books, magazines. Just keep showing him that your not going to abandon him and your going to stay by his side no matter how grumpy he is and he'll love it. I know that because my brother did that for me when I had to have surgery once. He was my Knight in Shiney Boxers on his head. Sorry it was our joke because he did that to make me laugh.

the ipod sounds like a great idea. and sounds like your doing pretty well so far. Also thanks for ansewering my ? I will have your family in my prayer .ask him if theres anything you can do

well right now all you can really do for your brother is be there for him and to be loving to him


look this might be off subject but i read a really good book called Drums, Girls and Dangerous Pie By Jordan Sonnenblick. in the book the main charters little brother has cancer and the book showes how he got threw this . i learned a lot from this book and i think you will to . i also think your brother will like this book

figure out if he wants to be treated like a cancer patient or a normal kid. chances are he doesn't want you to act any differently around him than how you did before he had cancer. hospitals can be scary places, especially for a 13 year old. bring him board games, puzzles, his favorite movies, spend tons of time with him and make sure he doesn't get lonely. if he wants bring his friends to visit him. sadly enough, events like this bring people closer together. just sit and talk with him about funny things that happened on vacation years ago, stupid things your dog does, anything just to make him feel comfortable rather than scared.

Hug, kiss, talk, pray, smile, give him a journal so he can express what he is feeling, and/or find books (funny, inspirational books/magazines for him to read) Try to talk about stuff other than the cancer, try to still be normal (meaning don't walk on egg shells, it only creates that awareness that one thinks he is dying) and take care of yourself, too. Good luck to you and your family, both will be in my prayers tonight!

I'm really good at putting myself in other people's shoes but at times it makes me too sympathetic. I have a mole that has a purple discoloration spreading from it on the ribs on my right side. I read up on skin cancer and I'm not scared about what the out come will be of the doctors appointment, but reading up on it I instantly was put in the place of someone with serious cancer, knowing that something out of your control is taking over your body and there's nothing you can do about it. Feeling like that almost made me cry and be thankful that I'm still young (17) and hopefully don't have to deal with that for decades if not at all. So just think of how scary it is for your brother, how quickly it attacked him, and how his normal life was taken away from him in a matter of what I'm guessing is less than a year. He grew up with dreams as a kid, and at a time when those dreams are supposed to start to turn in to actions, there's something holding him back that's out of control, and that he didn't deserve. Do what you've been doing, show him the utmost support. But don't let him be rude to you or your family. Talk to him, get him to think positively. Find out what he wants to do with his life and get him fired up for it; and emphasize the fact that his illness isn't holding him back and that maybe it's helping him, by giving him time to think about things before his real future comes. I know with these things come stress and with that clouded perceptions but having him thinking positively and getting him focused on something he wants to do will provide a mental clarity that he would never have if he didn't have this illness. Lastly, you're his sister, do you what you've been doing and use your loving judgment to know what's best for him. You've known him longer, and better than anyone, including your parents because of the age difference. I give you my best wishes. And I send good vibes your way.

~Sam

Keep him company, don't get angry when he gets upset about all he is going through, the iPod is a great idea!, books, movies, have his friends come visit when he is inpatient, love him.......

Remember that this is something you have no control over. His treatment plan, including surgery, is something that is decided between him, your parents and his medical team.

If he hasn't have him start a Caring Bridge page (www.caringbridge.org) or a Care Page (www.carepages.com). They are good for keeping people updated and good places to vent.