Is this obsessive compulsive disorder or anxiety disorder?

im a girl, going to be 18 this month
i come up with ways to embarrass myself, which i don't want to happen
a few years ago, my grandma who i lived with for a long time, asked me if i did anything she didn't know about
i told her no, not thinking about masturbation when she asked
if i was thinking about it and said no, then is that lying
cultures differ from countries to countries, but now im wondering because im korean, if i lied and if i should tell her now
i asked on yahoo about things related to this and now im depressed that because im korean if the answers that relieved me will change and if i have to ask all again saying that im korea to relieve myself
i think i came up with this idea of wondering if the answers will change because of the racism
my thoughts are getting complicated and depressing me more
my ocd is to do with guilt rather than the common rituals the ocd'ers do
do i have anxiety disorder too and do i sound crazy?
i try to embarrass myself and have repetitive thoughts
before and after my early teens, i masturbated with bananas, objects, and rolled napkins and saw porn pics and videos on the internet
im masturbating and watching porn again recently
should i tell my grandma about my porn watching?
i lived with my grandparents for a long time, and they certainly sacrificed their opportunities to raise me to the best they can, so do i need to tell my grandma now about these?
if i wasn't living with my parents i wouldn't be so keen on theses stuff as much as i am now
my thoughts are getting complicated and depressing me more
my ocd is to do with guilt rather than the common rituals the ocd'ers do
do i have anxiety disorder too and do i sound crazy?
i try to embarrass myself and have repetitive thoughts
i have repetitive thoughts most of the times about my guiltiness and what im proud of
does obsessive compulsive disorder impair judgements because i feel guilty and i can鈥檛 judge if it鈥檚 ok or i did wrong
if i think that i did something wrong, then i can鈥檛 do anything well to my full potential and i lose self-esteem and confidence

Your just letting your guilt eat you up.
What your doing is normal. There's no reason to tell your grandmother.
If you continue to obsess about it maybe try talking to someone about the guilt.
Don't worry, you've done nothing wrong.

I do not think you are doing anything wrong at all. It's totally normal!
I do not think you should feel guilty at all!! I would definitely not tell your Grandma what you do. There's nothing wrong with it, but sometimes older people can not handle such things. I think you are too worried about it. You shouldn't feel guilty!!!!

I would be more concerned if you didn't masturbate. It is perfectly normal to explore your body. As for you your Grandmother, you shouldn't worry about not telling her about it. It is your body and your privacy.
Seek out a therapist if the guilt is eating you up inside. The can help help.

What you are explaining definitely sounds like OCD. OCD is classified as an anxiety disorder so it is kinda one in the same. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating. It is completely natural. Rather, I am concerned about the despair you are feeling over the thoughts running through your head and the struggle and confusion you feel between when to act on a thought and when not to. You may want to consider if you would you be telling your grandparents because you feel it is a good thing for them to know or because you are obsessing over your feelings of guilt and by telling you feel it would relieve all your anxiety. Some things are personal and you have the right to keep sexual matters to yourself. OCD manifests itself in many ways that the general public is not aware of. It is not always the typical scenerios that we hear of. Every person with ocd has his or her own set of obsessions and compulsions. If you truly have ocd than a new obsession will generally replace an old one and you may not even see the pattern. You should certainly give yourself credit for posing such an important question. There is a book called Brain Lock by Dr. Jeffery Schwartz which provides a great explanation as to how an ocd brain works and how to change it to reduce anxiety. I would recommend talking to a counselor. It is confidential and you can get a professional opinion on any conditions you may have and perhaps just a listener to help you sort through everyday life. I wish you the best of luck.