Falling in love as a demoraliser? Symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder?

Every time I fall in love, my life seems to go upside down. I seem to forget my responsibilities, I seem to abandon job, studies etc.. I mean i try to do my duties, but my head is not there. I went through turbulent romance a year ago, and I am sure that is the primary reason for failing my postgraduate exams. Things started to pick up, i got life and career since that, but 10 days ago a new romance started and here I go- i haven't worked properly since, I have stopped following politics and my interests, i just want to be with him, i hate my life, i feel depressed. I read on wikipidia there is a new research into falling in love. That it reduces serotonin levels in the brain and thus has similar effects as OCD disorder.So there isn't anything good in it... I would be very interested to find out how does falling in love affect other people and whether you also find yourselves being completely thrown out of your routine and careers..And how do you cope with that? Any tips?

I have done the exact thing you describe. Being so in love (desperately) that I let everything in my life go. On reflection, I note that whenever I did that it was because other things in my life really were not working and being in "love" was a great, socially acceptable escape. I invite you to take a look at what is not working in your life. Don't get hung up on what the "experts" say. Being in love is wonderful but it should add to your life. When your relationship is so out of kilter that you fail exams and your whole existence revolves around another person, that really is not love.

So, let's be clear. When we (you are not alone) have allowed things in our lives to get so out of whack, falling in love seems like a good reason not to deal with those issues. When I was really honest with myself, I could admit (however briefly) that the object of my desire was not really right for me. (Does that have a ring of truth for you??) Invariably, the person I declared "my love" was someone who withheld, who was not sincerely interested in me. And the more he withheld, the more I tried to convince him that yes, I was truly worthy of his love.

Girl, if that is where you have been, please step off that merry-go-round. Take a break from relationships and figure out what is going on in your own life, in your own head. Figure out what you want in a relationship as opposed to trying to convince someone that you are worthy.

If you take the time for you, I think you will see a great difference in your level of neediness, your level of desperation and your willingness to kiss frogs, hoping that just this once he will turn into a prince.

Blessings to you.

yea my day to day life seems to get put off track 2 i dont know y but it just does. that person is always in my thoughts somewhere always doin nice things 4 them sometimes not even appreciated by the person i love. its just love it messes u up and if it doesnt then its probs not real feelinngs.

Ya I can relate!!..
first off...dont live for the other person. Think about why YOU let the other take over your feelings..remember they are YOURS... OCD...can hehave this way with anything you LOVE..or anyone you love!!!....

its your "EGO'..thats really in charge ...SO make an effort to irradicate it (ego)!!

take down your walls!! be honest and..always comunicate what you feel with your partner..its "KEY"


but! dont "LOOSE" yourself in the other person!

I suggest if being in love takes so much then you fall in love with God this time...Know the real love, its true object and source so that there will be no falling in fickle love again that messes up your life

Hey, Im really sorry to hear that you have such problems when falling in love. I am a psychology student and study human behaviour as well as experiencing love myself!

OCD as im sure you know stands for Obsessive Compulsive disorder where the person feels the urge to obessive carry out routines etc to satisfy as need in their head. It sounds to me that you struggle with the Biological aspect of Psychology and that is the love hormones!

Its really good that you have identified what is going wrong - all you have to do now is reprogram your learnt behaviour - easier said than done, i know! but the good thing behind you, as said previously, is that you know whats going wrong and why its going wrong. A fantastic start!

I personally used to throw myself at the person i feel in love with and as a result my studies and work never got the full attention is deserved and i suffered because of this. I thought that a man would be my world - all i needed.

Strangely i felt depressed and the need to fall out with my partner and make him chase me so that i could get that 'high' again. . .

Dont worry, your definately not the only person out there, so please dont feel alone.

I would advise seeing your doctor if you are worried about depression. Councelling sessions and possiblly Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) could be an option to consider to help find the root of these feelings you get as a result of a relationship and to help reprogram your thinking so that it is more positive. CBT is primarily based on Sigmund Freuds Psychodynamic Model of Abnormality (dont be alarmed by the abnormal bit! because your not abnormal) in that thoughts are repressed in the subconscious and as a result of this causes physical and psychological illnesses - which in your case seem to be negative thoughts when with a partner which causes your other social relationships to break down in work and study.

Anyway, i hope this has helped in some way or another!

I wish you the best of luck

Angela