Husbands and wives in nursing homes together?

If a husband and wife is in a nursing home together...why are they put in seperate rooms? A psychologist once told me that there are reasons for it, but I never got to hear the end of that conversation.

This is a large nursing home chain in South-Western Pennsylvania. The psychologist that I first asked this to was not affiliated in the nursing home chain.

I've volunteered here on and off since I was 14 (I'm 24). The reason that I bring this up is because I stopped visiting for a time in my teenage years because it bothered me because of medical privacy laws that when a patient that I regularly visited died, I checked in with his wife on another floor (because I thought that he was just moved again) and SHE had to be the one to tell me that he died.

That was years ago, but I asked a psychologist at a party recently (since I am volunteering there again) and he said that there were sound reasons for this. Missed the end of the conversation.

In part it may have been related to the condition of one of the spouses. If one of the spouses needed constant care that would have kept the other awake, you may of had to allow the healthier one to get some rest.
Sometimes a spouse will begin demanding that the other tend to all their needs and not allow the staff to assist them. This can be very dangerous to someone with slight dementia that will attempt to do things without a sense of consequense to their own health. I have had 260 lb men scream at their 90 lb wife to pick them up out of bed and curse them when they can't...or hit them. A 80 year old man can still do a fine job of beating the sniff out of his 78 year old wife, esp. with dementia in one or both.

I would believe that if the two were living in differnt rooms, the family was aware, and approved. It is always nice to think that people who have lived together will always get along, but they don't. It would be cruel in some cases to force some of these people together just to pretend that the world fits our expectations. Sometimes it is better to take things with a healthy dose of minding our own business to allow others the peace to take care of their own business.

By the time they get to be in a nursing home they are ready for the peace and quite their own room gives.

If one of the parties had something like Alzheimer's, it might be dangerous and upsetting to the other.

Other than that type of scenerio, I can't understand why a husband and wife wouldn't be put in the same room. It would probably help them to be together.

My great-grand parents were put in the same room. I've never heard of seperate rooms. What part of the world are you in? I'm from Ohio in the states. I'll keep checking.

I worked in a nursing home and spouses were always in the same room . Sure they had seperate beds, but why would anyone split them up? Even if one had dementia and didn't remember the other I would think it would be comforting to have someone somewhat familiar around..

Here is my 'guess': I would suspect it would have to do with their health status first. If something were to happen to one of them (seizure, stopped breathing,etc.,) this would not be a positive outcome for either of them. You don't want to witness something like this, especially if it's one of your loved one.

And it's probably just 'safe' practice, no matter how you look at it.


There may also be a potential for a law suit if one of them saw something that the staff did or did not do to their loved one. This is also why one patient is either taken out of the room (if possible) when their roommate codes.

I know several husband-wives that shared the same room in nursing home. Worked well. Maybe some have rules against this? Never heard of that and wouldn't know why.

just let someone try-n keep me from my wife or her from me

I too worked in a nursing home and a husband and wife were together. It's funny though.....the husband was a huge flirt and we would have to escort him back to his own room!