DATING and Bipolar Manic Depression with Panic/Anxiety Disorder?

I am a diagnosed Bipolar Manic Depressive NOS with Panic/Anxiety Disorder. I have been in mental hospitals more times than I have fingers, especially a lot in my twenties. I have only been in a hospital psych ward once in the past couple of years. I am 31.

I am currently on 4 different medications which seem to be working so far.

I want to have more of a normal life and maybe one day get married again when the time is right.

I have a fear of having someone say they love me and then if I have some bad episodes, I have a fear of them leaving me.

I have a very hard time trusting men because of this fear.

Also, when first dating, I am so extremely nervous that I stutter and can't look someone in the eye until I feel comfortable enough to do so.

I am afraid of being labeled crazy when I am not.

To me crazy is by choice,Mental illness is not.

I just would like someone who will love me no matter what and is willing to travel this long hard road of living with Bipolar.

What was the question?

______________________________________...

I'm bipolar and I choose to NOT date.

I don't need the drama. Relationships are full of drama from my experience.

And like you I am afraid of being abandoned should my disorder deteriorate.

It is safer to go it alone.

You will find someone.

I dated someone for about 2 years who was bipolar.
(he has commited suicide since then)
and he had a lot of episodes and problems and hospitalizations and such, and I put up with all of it for so long because I love him so much.
If you find the right guy, he won't care about that and try to stick it out with you all the way.
It's just a matter of finding the right person, if someone leaves you because of that, they never really loved you.

but, please, always continue using your medication
(if it seems to be working)
and keep in mind that you partner is only human.

Oh my god do I knwo what you mean about the bipolar depressive anxiety stuff. I am in a similar situation.... trying to date again after a really bad boyfriend in Aug.... being bipolar, with depression and borderline personality disorder.... and the anxiety... oh wow.... I know what you mean. Actually I am to the point where I am too scared if the would stay around. figuring they would want something, steal from me again (a few have done that..)

I have been in the hospital more times that i have fingers and toes :(

all I can say is one.... Email me what meds you are on.... lol... well no serious, might be helpful to know what someone is taking that helps them. (brwneyes30_04@yahoo.com)

just take every day as a new day, each date as a new learning experience, maybe just say a little bit about "it may seem weird, but I am nervous about being on this date, so if it seems that way it is because I am." I don't know.

I went on my first date tonight in .... well since August... it was good... I had a nice time. I was nervous, wondering what is going to happen... but it went smoothly I think.... or that it was okay and he just wasn't into me... who knows....

it seems that you have some issues. I personally would over look those problems to find out who the real person was. one of my best friends was Bipolar and went to a mental hospital. you will find someone, and if not I will date you.

Something in the following may benefit you: CHECK OUT: http://wikihow.com/ (select: "Relationships" at the bottom of the webpage, in the CATEGORIES box) & http://www.succeedsocially.com/meetpeopl... & http://icq.com/ & http://searchportal.information.com/ (for females: I typed: "dating advice; women" - getting at least 10 pages of results: some follow) http://www.youcangettheguy.com/ & http://www.savvymiss.com/ & http://www.getromantic.com/ & http://love.ivillage.com/ (well worth checking out!) & http://www.datingadvicefromagirl.com/ & http://www.online-dating.info/ & http://meetpeopleonline.name/ & http://www.adamanddrew.com/ & http://nolongerlonely.com/ is specifically for those suffering with mental health problems. In Australia, there is http://au.personals.yahoo.com/ I am sure that there are equivalent websites in Yahoo for many other countries: try: "Your Yahoo". For males, (and, increasingly, these days, for females) there is an old saying: "Faint heart ne'er won fair lady." If you have any questions; one place you can get a variety of answers is in the "singles & dating" section at Yahoo!:Answers. BIPOLAR DISORDER. See bipolar disorder, at ezy-build * (below) in section 10, and take the quiz, if unsure, and if the results are positive, ensure you get an expert diagnosis from a mental health professional, not doctors, who are much better dealing with physical ailments, and don't diagnose complex disorders like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and borderline personality disorder often enough to develop any real expertise. Bipolar disorder usually involves major moodswings, which occur without apparent cause, and often over many months, or a matter of years, rather than days, as with most people (unless rapid cycling). I'd take 4 Omega 3 fish oil supplements daily, replacing 2 of them with cod liver oil supplements in the winter months. I recommend trying Lithium Carbonate, or Lithium Citrate (regular tests are necessary, for these), before trying the other mood stabilisers, but if you aren't good at taking medications regularly, drinking adequate water, and keeping up your salt intake, something else may suit you better. Always check out anything first at http://www.drugs.com/, so you will be aware of the risks, and on the lookout for side effects. (Personally, if I wasn't bipolar type 1, and didn't experience hallucinations, or serious delusional states, I know I'd first try the orthomolecular and Omega 3 fish oil supplements, vitamins, minerals, and mostly raw food diet, for several months. I'd aso eat in accordance with my "nutritional type"' enter that term in the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com/ ). If not considerably improved, after several months, consult your primary mental health care provider. If bipolar type 1, an antipsychotic medication may also be needed. Everyone should take the Omega 3 supplements, or preferably "krill oil" for its other health benefits: use the searchbar at http://www.mercola.com/ . Some people refuse medication, using supplements, and a selective, mostly raw food diet (I do not recommended trying this, if bipolar 1, unless you aren't troubled by hallucinations, or delusional states). Maintain the treatments for the depressive phase, in section 2, at * http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris SPEECH DISORDERS: GENERAL ADVICE FOR ALL DISORDERS: Use the WebFerret search engine, your own, and the Wikipedia, and Google websites. GROUPS, at Myspace, Yahoo, and/or Google may be of assistance, and also contact the state, and national bodies for more information. STUTTERING :Try deliberately slowing your speech, or putting some marbles in your mouth. See http://www.stutteringhelp.org/ and http://www.stuttering.net/ and http://www.stutteringtreatment.org/ and http://www.speakeasy.org.au/ and http://www.stuttering.org/bsrp.html ($$$) & http://www.casafuturatech.com/Books/ (Books/NoMiracle Cures/) (NoMiracleCures/index.shtml) & http://www.slc.sevier.org/comdis.html & http://www.perfect-voice.com/ Call (USA) 1800 992 9392 and 1800 221 2483. It may also be helpful to visit page 38, on self confidence, and the EFT version for use in public places, for which you can reasonably claim to have a headache, as you massage/tap your temples, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris (in section 53) saying/subvocalising to yourself something like: "Even though I may sometimes stutter, I deeply and completely accept myself". LISPING: http://members.tripod.com/Caroline_ (Caroline_Bowen/lisping.htm) PUBLIC SPEAKING: http://www.uncommonknowledge.com/ & http://www.voicebusiness.com.au/ and see social anxiety, at ezy-build on page 9.

Totally understandable.
I have a severe anxiety disorder and I used to think the sameway, "why would anyone want me and all my problems"

If someone truly loves you, they are going to love you no matter what! And you are NOT crazy, so don't ever let someone tell you that or make you feel that way.

You need to learn how to love you and accept yourself as a whole person, mental disorders and all, then if you choose to let someone in your life and they can't accept it, tell them to push on.

You never want to let someone use that against you, trust me they will if they can ( and if they are a JERK)

Love you, the rest will fall into place=)

There's someone out there for everyone...and you'll meet your special guy one day too...just give it time....don't be afraid to date. Personally the best cure for any mental illness is personal effort...challenge yourself....& Don't think about what the other person will think when you go on dates...just do what makes you feel good...if someone likes it good...if not, you could care less!

take care & don't feel you are alone, there's a LOT of guys/gals (with no mental disorder) going through similar situations...including myself :)

I was in the hospital many many times also, especially in my 20's and early 30's. I had a failed marriage at that time. Not being properly diagnosed meant the treatment was making me worse, then it turned out that the Ativan I was taking was making me much worse for many years. (It SEEMED to help, but a day or two later, I was really awful)> I have stabilized quite a bit since getting off ativan, but am still in mixed moods almost all the time. But I have a good relationship with my husband, with little drama. I think we have a bit more fire in our relationship than most couples, but not from the bipolar (we are both passionate about things). He's happy to have me, and just wishes I wasn't so sad so much of the time. And I worked out the deal where if I had mania, he takes away the keys and purse and stuff.

He didn't know anything about mental illness before, and he was accepting, but kinda needed some educating early on. I had him come with me to my counselor several times while we worked out a team plan.

He loves the bipolar creativity I have - I am learning oil painting, and they are going very well. I play piano and design doll clothes to sell, too. That intense creativity often accompanies bipolar disorder, and is VERY appealing to others if you have it.

I hope things work out for you!

I can definitely relate. I'm 31, have BPII and anxiety disorders and then some. On 5 meds currently. Divorced. Want a more normal life. Not specific to dating, I get very nervous in social situations with new and/or large groups of people - stumble over my words when I try to talk. The final sentence of your question sums it up for me too.

You are not alone in this. And I am sure there are people out there able to take this journey with us, but it does seem to take a very special individual to do so. It is not an easy road, for us or for people that love us.

If you can look at the whole thing with a sense of humor...check out the lyrics to the song F'ed Up Girl by the Vandals. The first time I heard it, it became my new favorite song. To me, it it the ultimate love song, in a funny/sad kind of way.

Hang in there. It really sounds like you are moving in the right direction. Sometimes it takes a while to get traction in order to do that...and expect to slip around sometimes still...but overall stability is not impossible.