I don't have any empathy, I understand others but I do not "feel"them. Help!?

I recently realised that I had never been able to feel what others feel. I understand the importance of being nice to people and I manage quite well in public relations, but not because I am sincere; only because I understand the importnance of 'wining' people's admiration and acceptance. I understand that I 'need' people, but deep inside I don't care about them.i.e. if they get replaced by robots that perform the same functions I'd be very happy! I want to change that and I do not know how. I ask my closest circle of trusted friends friends how do they manage to have empathy, or have real care for others or share others their pain and happiness (really share it, not just pretend to share it for social gains) but I get no answer that i can comprehend. They tell me to relax and be myself, but by relaxing and being myself I am very indifferent to how others feel and I have to pretend to care. I sthere a way i could learn to change this? how to really care? or is a psychatrist a must?

could be a mental disorder or a condition that you learn to live with such as Asperers is a high functioning autism-littel social skills or ability to relate to others feelings. There is borderline personality disorder. check those out and see a doc or psychologist/psychiatrist to get an eval.

Some people are more empathic than others and some like you are at the other end of the scale. Its not a learnt thing so you won't really change things. Look on the bright side though while you live a life of keeping yourself happy and being good to others you won't feel their pain and sadness.

well if you really feel that way i would go to a therapist first and see if they think that you should go to a psychiatrist. this is a very hard question to answer. i would say that maybe you show signs of being a sociopath but that sounds rather harsh. there could be something that is holding you back from feeling these things that you may not even realize. so my best suggestion would be to see a therapist and maybe they can help you out with these issues. you may just need to talk to someone about them. i hope that this helps

First of all I think the fact that you care enough to ask this question means that you are a caring person deep down. You care that you don't care, if that make sense. And that is certianly the frist step.

What I do is try to see life through their eyes. Or, I think, how would I feel if this were to happen to me. Or what has been similar to their situation that has happened to me and then empathize because then I at least somewhat know what they are going through.

And, sometimes it just helps to ask people if you don't think you can empathize. Sometimes I say, "Tell me what this is like for you?" "How does this make you feel?" Having them verbalize can also help you connect more to them.

Hope that helps...

Well why dont you think to yourself, is there anyone in the whole world, including family that you care about, and why do you care about them...or about anything.. think about things you care about, things that make you happy or give you some sort of pleasure, your favorite foods, favorite movies, anything... and think about what it is about them that brings you pleasure... this is a part of you relating to something...you cant care about anyone or anything unless you give yourself a chance to relate to them, or understand them. You may have formed a habit pattern of pretending you care to please them, and you will have to break it, as hard as it will be, its for your benifit. I would just take the time when people talk to try and put yourself in their shoes, try and see if you can understand them, and most of all be honest, being honest will probably get you your results quicker... if you dont agree with your friends say i dont understand your point of veiw, and see what else they have to say, maybe discuss it... see if you can relate, and if not its ok, everyone is different... you dont have to have Empathy but once you can truely understand them, and can relate to how they "feel" then you will over come this problem. I dont know if this helped, or made any sense, i was just writing my thoughts to you? Good luck.