I don't form close bonds - even with family - what's wrong with me?

I'm 31. I have 3 kids that I do love dearly and have very close bonds with them. My parents I love as well. But the problem comes in with other family like my little sister, grandparents, etc. I have obviously known them all my life but I couldn't care less about them. I have no emotions for them. I realize it's odd... Also, I have no real friends. I have work acquaintances and that's it. The only "friend" I managed to keep was a girl I met in h.s. that requires no upkeep at all. We talk maybe once every year or 2 if we bump into eachother. I couldn't care less about anybody - I can break off friendships with no problem. Any ideas on what my issue may be?

antisocial personality disorder....sociapathic tendencies..... narcissistic personality disorder....all possibilities here. I don't know what other traits you have....and maybe there is no actual disorder to label you with. If you are truly concerned about your lack of empathy and compassion and your detached emotional state....go talk to a professional therapist who can shed some light on your patterns and how to change them

Seems like u dont care enough about urself to care about neone else. go see a doctor a therapist can help you find out whats going on and how to change it..oh... and im pretty sure its not AIDS.

i don't know but when you find out let me know that's my problem as well but i don't think its a problem its just protecting your heart and feelings

You have different priorities! So what if you social life doesn't fit the framework of the American dream? there is nothing wrong with you

Yeah. You're probably melancholy or something. It's just your innate personality, and it's not really a bad thing. So maybe you don't like people, so what? Make sure you're in a job where you don't have to form close bonds, and it's all good.

You're close to the people you need to be close to.

nothing is wrong with you. Just because people are 'family' doesn't mean you HAVE to have a close bond, or even like them. I have a great relationship with my SIL, one brother I dislike immensely and only see him at Christmas, one sister is just way too much work and even my mother is way too much emotional work. Once you have kids, they are your priority (as they should be) your immediately family is "your family" and you just don't have the time for any kind of relationship outside of it that requires work. I have a couple of friends I keep in contact with but that is all....we all move on in life and our priorities change :)

WOOOO!!! You sound IDENTICAL to me! Hell, nothing is wrong with us! We just see the world and its people as they really are. As long as you can give your children HONEST and UNCONDITIONAL love, you have a one-up on society. Children are our main purpose. Most people lie and cheat... and stab you in the back. Breaking off friendships just relieves you of so many problems that would otherwise arise. =)

IF YOU DON'T HAVE CLOSE BONDS WITH OTHERS BESIDES THOSE MENTIONED.....

DOES IT MATTER?

You are a loner. I hope you let your kids have a relationship with your other family members that you care nothing about.Somewhere down the line your kids might need those relatives that you don't care for.

Twenty-five percent of males are like this.They don't know that they are different . How did you learn that you were different. You can never be a winner-player if you were raised as a loner.

Try to under stand the lovable heart in you seeks to the love and joy of all .Look them lovely treat them gently .No problem is with you .Be fine and competent man and father of three beautiful kids .

I think you could be suffering from a fear of rejection, meaning you shot them down before they come close enough to make a big impact. you offer noting to them, no conversation and no love to them. that way you won't have to deal with there emotional needs

I think it goes a little deep. Sounds like you were hurt big time by a family member or friend and what ever it was it's causing you to form barriers against being hurt again. By not creating any close bonds you feel protected against what ever rejection or pain has been inflicted on you. It takes a lot to cultivate a friendship, something in your past is not allowing you to do that. Look up to the heavens and forgive them, and tell them how you feel or felt about them. The release will be amazing, you'll feel better about yourself and them. Life is too short to live without close relationships. You gotta have friends.

You're not alone, Kassie.

What you're experiencing I experienced for a LOOOONG time. What I discovered through years of meditation was that I didn't LIKE myself, let alone LOVE myself! Seriously!

Yeah, sounds like hoity-toity New Age crap, but that's what I discovered. Granted it took 18 months to discover that I didn't like myself, and another 18 months to accept and love myself, which opened up the door to me truly loving and accepting others--and myslef!

Will it take you that long? No one knows, but if you fell a therapist or other professional can help you discover what's your particular block, I'd say go for it! It'll take MUCH less than 3 years, I'll bet!

If you'd rather do it on your own, meditation did it for me.

Either way, by simply asking this question, you've started down the path of self-discovery! Good luck!

I feel the same way, so I would say nothing wrong. I find that I have climbed a ladder that many of my friends form the past have not climbed. Coming from a family of blue collar workers and not getting the right conditioning growing up(ie mother remarried, no real father figure, family bad mouths father, etc) plus no real help in school made me a stronger person than many of my friends. So as I made my way up through the ranks(and college) got a decent white collar job, I lost many of these friends from sheer envy or just disconnected. Unfortunately, Going into a different social circle I feel like I cannot cope because they talk and do different things than I did when I was growing up. So I can't go down to the low level and feel incompetent in the upper level and can;t find anyone of the same caliber or else I would have more friends.

AIDS