What do you say to your male oncologist who has a very casual attitude when talking about masectomy vs ?

lumpectomy? I was given this choice due to my BC being early stage 1. He is one of the top oncologists in the city but I wonder if he was faced with losing a non-life sustaining part of his anatomy if he would have the same opinion?

Good question, and you should ask him. On the other hand, not a lot of physicians (especially oncologists) are very "emotional" when it comes to that. they just give you the info without emotion and allow you to add your emotion to make the decision. Emotion is a very powerful thing and if they showed it, it may sway you to have the procedure you don't want. He will give you facts and what you need to know to make an informed decision. Although it sounds cold, they encounter this a great deal and need to help their patients by mot turning them into hysterical messes. Good luck and I'll put good thoughts out there for you!

You would probably find that female oncologists have the same attitude. For one, they have most likely seen people who were in far, far worse condition. I don't mean to sound blunt, but let's accept that is probably true. Secondly, they only have certain "tools" in their tool box. They are unqualified to discuss "natural" options with you because they don't receive that kind of training in school. They can only provide you with the options they have.

Good luck to you. It's hard for anyone else to imagine what you must be going through. Forgive the oncologists for looking at you like a collection of parts. Their training and experiences do it to them. They probably wouldn't be able to go through life if they got emotionally invested into each patient: it would be hard on them too and patient care could suffer.

Just a way of looking at it...

I wonder if he might just have this casual attitude because he is trying to have a calming demeanor for his patients. If you really feel like he's not taking these matters seriously, I would report him to his superior and seek another oncologist. Ask a female nurse who knows him what she thinks about this. Maybe it's just a quirk in his personality. Find out what his reputation as a healer is.

Oncologists develop a tough exterior or they would burn out. I can understand your feelings but what you need first and foremost is technical competence

So is he pushing the mastectomy? Isn't the cure rate for stage 1 breast cancer fairly high? This would especially be true if one of your options is a lumpectomy. That would indicate that is localized and has not spread and does not involve the mammary ducts.

You also have to look at other things as well, is this the first time you were diagnosed with breast cancer, did you have any other types of cancer previously. If mastectomy is the choice you make, please keep in mind that today they can do reconstructive surgery that same day. This makes it easier to handle the loss plus the actual diagnosis.

This is not a decision to make lightly and it seems that he is taking it that way. You have a right to seek a second opinion, multiple if necessary. Talk to other women in your situation the local cancer society can put you in touch with someone. You don't want your treatment to be something that you will obsess over "did I make the right decision". Don't let anyone minimize what you are dealing with. Surviving the cancer is your goal.

Sweetie he may be trying very hard not to show his concerns so as not to transfer them to you , given your apt to have had enough to be concerned about already. Many doctors try and maintain an emotional distance from their patients so it doesn't cloud their medical objectivity and decision making skills which helps in concentrating on the health issue at hand . I would speak to him of the emotional difficulties something as this causes which should be treated as well as the physical problem . I'm sure he would be more understanding of your particular situation when you voice that information .
Good luck to you , I'm rooting for you !