Point in living?

What is the point in living?

I don't wanna be splattered with that *Everything will get better* ****.

You could say I'm not a popular person. Quite the contrary. I had three friends that I could trust. The rest I didn't think I could talk to like normal.

In the past month I have lost 2 of these friends.

How?

As always. ALWAYS I have ****** up.

The first one I lost because... I just did. She hit a rough patch and started getting edgier. She knew I loved her and manipulated me. She threatened not to talk to me if I kept smoking. I stopped but nonetheless.

The other I just got into an arguement with tonight. Again I ****** up.

I always do. Saying or doing something stupid impulsively.

I dont choose to do things. Its not like I feel an urge to do them i just dont realise I do them.

But with a single trustworthy friend I barely speak to what point is there in life?

I just got stoned off my *** but leaning out my window so my parents dont catch me blazing is a pain in the ***.

Alas I have... One guy friend. We go to different schools now so I dont talk to him any more. We talk on AIM.

What I do wrong is I talk to much (I dont realize it no matter how hard I try.) Apparently I get annoying.

So without other people the only damn thing in this world ever to benefit from my existance, according to my parents, is a bunch of cows and a few dogs. (Im a vegetarian and I work at a vet hospital.)

Anyways, my Mom and Dad wanna get rid of me, Im an asshole unintentionally yo my little bros. I stress my mom out so much the acid rises in her stomach, damaged the lining of her esophogaus and now she is on the verge of cancer.

I used to be a huge asshole so at my new school I have the unhelpable reputation of being the weirdest most annoying and assholeish kid there. I used to go there but I am going back. Huh. Im finally a sophomore.

I dont see any reason to live to college. Im probably not good enough to make any of the colleges I want to go into veterinary practice.

I am so sorry. I don't know that you're a teenager but I'm assuming you are. It's a really tough time for a lot of people. Out of control hormones, out of control emotions, and not knowing what to do with any of it. You mentioned impulsivity as a problem. Did you know that the part of the brain that helps you deal with impulsivity doesn't fully develop until you're like 25 or so? (esp. in men) Some things that can help you focus so that you see the choices you have (rather than getting caught up in a hurricane of drama) are yoga, meditation, tai chi, chi kung, and a variety of breathing and relaxation exercises. These can help you examine your mind by sort of stepping back for a moment and seeing things in context. None of them work instantly - you have to really do whichever you chose every day. You only have to start with about 10 min/day and then slowly increase it to 30 or 45 min/day. Your life WILL change. (So does everything...)

Okay, let your buzz hit ya, you'll feel a little better :) so what is it that your doing thats so wrong??

John,
Hang in there Buddy!
Give the girls a rest and hang out with some guy friends for a while.
Get a good night's sleep, eat some decent food, start an exercise program, find a male counselor or mentor who can advise you about the opposite sex (I suggest he be over 35 years of age at least) take some guitar lessons, learn how to paint or draw.
Go do something fun that doesn't involve females.
Look for books on how to communicate with women.
You can do it!
We are always gathering data. You know many ways to F*ck up as you say, soon you will know some ways to get your needs met.
Best Wishes

Hi, why don't you talk to your friends and say that you sorry (as friendships and love is the most precious thing) ?

As bible said (i'm not a good Christian, but i think this is the words) : love covers everything, and , that we must excuse their fault 7 x 77 times (easy to say, i doubt any of us can do it, but at least we must try).
If they're really true friend, your world would be just fine.
Sounds to me, your friend loves you too.

Silver Boxes The Encouragement Gift by Florence Littauer
help me to reduce my anger, manage my word etc.

Point of life ? You should find it yourself. Noone can help us to find this one. I haven't really find it myself, but i continue living and doing best.
I try to found myself "place", i don't let myself to be "garbage" or "alienated".

You not that asshole to me, you feel sorry right ? That's very good. Try to be your best. Get counselling if you think it necessary. Who knows they can help you established yourself.

God bless you.

Ps: education open the door. Give you chance n opportunity to many ways in life. I think you better go to college.
You still have a long way to go.