How do I stop living in fear?

I don't understand why I feel this way. There is no logical reason for it. But I'm afraid all the time. I'm afraid of people, of what they think of me, I'm afraid no matter what I do people find fault in me, Afraid I'll let down the few people I'm close to. I'm afraid of people period. Because of this fear I have no life. My life consists of go to work, come home, eat supper, go on the computer, and then go to bed. I'm letting fear rule my life and because of that I don't really have one. I'm sick of living in fear and I don't know what to do about it. Any suggestions would be welcome.

"Fear" is the normal response to a genuine danger. With phobias, the fear is either irrational or excessive. It is an abnormally fearful response to a danger that is imagined or is irrationally exaggerated. People can develop phobic reactions to animals (e.g., spiders), activities (e.g., flying) or social situations (e.g., eating in public or simply being in a public environment).

Phobias affect people of all ages, from all walks of life and in every part of the country. The American Psychiatric Institute for Research and Education (APIRE) has reported that in any given year, 7.8 percent of American adults have phobias. They are the most common psychiatric illness among women of all ages and are the second most common illness among men older than 25.

Symptoms

Phobias are emotional and physical reactions to feared objects or situations. Symptoms of a phobia include the following:

* Feelings of panic, dread, horror or terror
* Recognition that the fear goes beyond normal boundaries and the actual threat of danger
* Reactions that are automatic and uncontrollable, practically taking over the person's thoughts
* Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, trembling and an overwhelming desire to flee the situation 鈥?all the physical reactions associated with extreme fear
* Extreme measures taken to avoid the feared object or situation

Categories of Phobias

Phobias are divided into categories according to the cause of the reaction and avoidance.

Agoraphobia
Agoraphobia is the fear of being alone in any place or situation where it seems escape would be difficult or help unavailable should the need arise.

People with agoraphobia may avoid being on bridges, busy streets or in crowded stores. Some people with agoraphobia become so disabled they literally will not leave their homes. If they do, it is only with great distress or when accompanied by a friend or family member.

Two-thirds of those with agoraphobia are women. Symptoms usually develop between late adolescence and mid 30's. The onset may be sudden or gradual.

Most people with agoraphobia develop the disorder after first suffering from one or more spontaneous panic attacks 鈥?feelings of intense, overwhelming terror accompanied by symptoms such as sweating, shortness of breath or faintness. These attacks seem to occur randomly and without warning, making it impossible for a person to predict what situation will trigger such a reaction.

The unpredictability of the panic attacks "trains" individuals to anticipate future panic attacks and, therefore, to fear any situation in which an attack may occur. As a result, they avoid going into any place or situation where previous panic attacks have occurred.

Social Phobia
A person with social phobia fears being watched or humiliated while doing something in front of others. The activity is often as mundane as signing a personal check or eating a meal. The most common social phobia is the fear of speaking in public. Many people have a generalized form of social phobia, in which they fear and avoid interpersonal interactions. This makes it difficult for them to go to work or school or to socialize at all.

Social phobias generally develop after puberty and, without treatment, can be lifelong.

Specific Phobia
As the name implies, people with a specific phobia generally have an irrational fear of specific objects or situations. The disability caused by this phobia can be severe if the feared object or situation is a common one.

The most common specific phobia in the general population is fear of animals 鈥?particularly dogs, snakes, insects and mice. Other specific phobias are fear of closed spaces (claustrophobia) and fear of heights (acrophobia).

Most simple phobias develop during childhood and eventually disappear. Those that persist into adulthood rarely go away without treatment.

Treatment

Any phobia that interferes with daily living and creates extreme disability should be treated. With proper treatment, the vast majority of phobia patients can completely overcome their fears and be symptom-free for years, if not for life. Effective relief can usually be gained through either cognitive behavior therapy, medication or a combination of both.

Cognitive Behavior Therapy
In behavior therapy, one meets with a trained therapist and confronts the feared object or situation in a carefully planned, gradual way and learns to control the mental and physical reactions of fear. By confronting rather than fleeing the object of fear, the person becomes accustomed to it and can lose the terror, horror, panic, and dread he or she once felt.

Medications
Medications are used to control the panic experienced during a phobic situation, as well as the anxiety caused by anticipation of that situation and are often used to treat social phobia and agoraphobia.

Resources

For more information, please contact:

American Psychiatric Association (APA)
1000 Wilson Blvd.
Suite 1825
Arlington, VA 22209
(703) 907-7300
www.healthyminds.org

Anxiety Disorders Association of America (ADAA)
8730 Georgia Avenue,
Suite 600
Silver Spring, MD 20910
(240) 485-1001
www.adaa.org

National Mental Health Association (NMHA)
2001 N. Beauregard Street,
12th Floor
Alexandria, VA 22311
(800) 969-NMHA (6642)
www.nmha.org

National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI)
Colonial Place Three
2107 Wilson Blvd., Suite 300
Arlington, VA 22201-3042
(703) 524-7600
Information Helpline:
(800) 950-NAMI (6264)
www.nami.org

Read 'The Places That Scare You' by Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun.

You might be suffering from an anxiety disorder. I would recommend talking to your doctor about this. There are many treatment methods available that can help with this problem and the inbalances of hormones.

I'm no medical doctor but I used to be the same way. And the best way to break this problem is simply doing stuff you normally don't do. Walk up to a guy at a grocery store and just start a conversation. Go out with the girls to a bar or club on the weekends. More importantly and I live by this rule. Within 3 seconds of making eye contact with someone go and talk to them before you start thinking/fearing it. It takes 3 seconds for the brain to register that "fight or flight" type mode. So dont give your brain a chance. More importantly apply this in everyday life and I am sure you will break the fear.

You are a psychiatrists dream.

However, if you are very serious about what you are saying, I have a friend who suffered pannic attacks and couldn't go anywhere without her daughter in the car with her just to get groceries.

She took some supplements (high grade) to help her balance her hormonal system naturally, once she did that, she began to feel at ease and focuse for the first time in over 20 years.

She is now able to drive by herself, talk to people, and live her life.

Well, first thing is first, you should probably get a counselor or at the very least make a list of everything that you're afraid of up to date. Try to figure out WHY you're afraid of other people.

Also, you may want to "baby step" your way to not living in fear. For example, do something out of character (sane and reasonable) and try something new. In other words, break the routine.

Everyone is afraid of letting those down who are close to us. But if we never take that chance, then we continue to be ruled by fear. It's unrealistic to always try to make others happy without atleast thinking of ourselves from time to time.

well hunny u are doing the right thing , asking 4 help ! take it easy just breath . don't worry i have a fear almost just the same but my fiancee helps me through it (when we go out to places with big crowds like the mall or dinning places etc.)well I'm just scared of really big crowds it gets me over whelmed.anyways , talk to some one like a family member ,a doctor, or try to take baby steps. a nother thing u could try is ,finding some one (like i did if it wasn't for him i wouldn't be OK in large crowds) i friend male or female what ever u prefer , and sit down with them and tell him or her ur problem , and see if he or she would help u to take baby steps . OK hope u get better hun take care.:)

Well my advice to you is to volunteer your time helping others. Get out of yourself and focus on other people. The other thing is to pray and I am a big believer in 12 step recovery programs. find one that works for you. you need to know that you are not alone. you need to have someone you can talk to about how you are feeeling. someone who understands you and will not be critical of you. good luck! there are a lot of good resources out there.

i struggle with fear too. so i know what that feels like.

take a step. talk to me dogmicjoe@yahoo.com. and go out and volunteer. it helps

i would suggest you go see a psychologist. sounds like you have anxiety and manybe something else. they can help you find out what is wrong with you and why you think this way. they will also probalby refer you to a psychiatrist for some meds. i hate to tell people to take meds, but in some cases it is the only way to live life. hope this helps.