Help! I am living with a sociopath who has completely ruined my life with his lies,manipulation and mind games

He fits every definition of a sociopath/antisocial personality-sadistic, control freak, no patience, etc. And he thinks he has the right to control everyone and becomes very angry when he can't. He is a business owner and very outgoing and talkative. I am just the opposite. I am very quiet and shy. People like him, but behind closed doors they don't see the abuse. He has beaten me down and my personality has changed. He has completely ruined my reputation with his lies and for some reason people believe him. Its very weird, HE ACCUSES ME OF DOING WHAT HE IN FACT DOES and then his friends and family make problems for me. I feel like I am living in a nightmare that just keeps getting worse! I try to tell people what is happening , but he is just more convincing. I can't understand why anyone would believe him and defend him. Its crazy and I don't know how to make people believe me or how to to get away from him.

Okay, the first thing that comes to mind is why are you still with him after all this? Why did you get together with him in the first place? Are you a massochist perchance?

Just leave and go to the women's shelter. If you feel this way about this man, then you truly should consider getting help for yourself or him.

I don't know how your financial situation stands, or how many/if any children you have, but you really should leave.

Stuff like this only gets worse, he will end up breaking you, mentally, and maybe physically too, no one deserves to live like that, an no child deserves to be brought up in a home where their own mother is the victim.

I know certainly, that in the UK there are places who help women in your situation, and while it might be hard to make the initial move, at least you will live your life as your own person, and in the end you will see how much better it is.

Leave. As you know treatment is not really able to do much with anti-social personality disorder. Don't try to fix him, just get out and take care of yourself.

Firstly and most obviously you must leave him. Go to stay with Family, a good friend or a women's shelter but you must leave. If he follows or finds you go to the police and explain your situation. My advice would be to start afresh elsewhere. This may not seem fair but it will allow you to rebuild your self esteem and make new (unbiased) friendships. All of this may mean walking out of the door with just the clothes on your back. I wish you the best of luck.

get to a mental health professional-u need help figuring out WHY u stay-perhaps u r ADDICTED to his abuse? some people w/low self esteem have so little confidence they rely on HIS CONTROL to give their life ORDER. "at least there is SOMETHING u can COUNT ON- his ABUSE-
when u r ready- u will find a way out.

Why are you still with him?Is it love or lust?Do you consider him being your worst nightmare for life?You dont understand the meaning of life....thats why your still with him...You need to get marriage counselling and tell social services,dont be afraid to tell people,or it will only cause heart ache/depressed and make you think your a failure,You surely werent raised to be one,so id consider you getting out of that relationship or getting counselling...

Check where the Safe houses are in your area,find out the # to the womens shelter,and use it. I went throught this once, and he told me that I would never make it with out him.but I did, and all it took was that first step....so get the # and call it will never change at your home, believe me!! You can do it and the womens shelters can help!!

Get out of there. Call any women's shelter, they will come get you if you can't get to them. They will help you with counseling to not only get past this period in your life, but to not make the same mistake again. You can also get job training if you need it and the support of women who have been through what you are experiencing. Don't worry about people believing you, this is not a contest. You are fighting to get your own life and personality back. It will not get better until you do something about it. Leave!

Judging by some of the other questions that you've asked, it appears that you suspect your email and computer habits are being monitored. Also, are you perchance a muslim convert and an immigrant into the US?

As for this specific question that you asked, what you need is a plan. Take stock of the situation that you are now in, you've already taken the big step of realizing the source of the problem, now you need to follow through. How much money do you have and how long could you survive on your own? Are there any family or friends you could stay with for an extended time, until you get back on your feet? Do you have any children? How bad is the abuse you're subjected to? If it is physical, the police will intervene on your behalf.

From what you said, it sounds like you want out of your marriage, and I can't blame you. So your first step is to get out on your own either through the assistance of your family or through local organizations. There is likely to be a shelter for abused women in your area, they can help you get back on your feet.

Once you've fled your abusive husband, the next order of business is to file for divorce. You'll certainly want proof of his abuse, something your attorney can use against himin court.

Make your plans, get out and get on with a better life.

Leave him.

You seem so well educated on his personality type and life habits you'd qualify for a Phd, yet you can't figure out how to get out of this situation? This is what I don't understand about women in these types of relationships. Why is it so hard to leave him or get out of there? He won't change, they never do. Why do you even allow yourself to be in a such a position that it interferes with your happiness and ability to enjoy life? If love is your reason for staying, maybe you need to re-evaluate what love really means. You're putting way to much effort into trying to get everyone else to believe you over him, when you could've used that effort to get away from him. At this point, it's safe but sad to say that you deserve it, since you choose to do nothing about it. You obviously enjoy it. I may be wrong though.