WHY wouldn't you switch off the life support machine of someone you love?

if you have already accepted they will die, no hope left because its a fatal disease etc, why would you keep them hanging on to let them die on life support, in agony I am assuming..

I just need some more insight into what my girl and her family are going through, she is losing her dad to lung cancer, he has been on life support for 4 months, she has already accepted he will die, they thought they almost lost him last week but he's still with us fighting, I don't get why they want to prolong his agony if they have already accepted he will die..?

if it was me and a parent of mine it would all depend on whatever they have said about things like this in the past... I know my dad would not like to have been 'kept alive' by machines so if i had the decision left to me then i would take is wishes into account... usually it is not the sole decision of just one person.. perhaps other siblings wont hear of it.. is wife? his own brothers/sisters? it has to be a joint decision and i imagine with feelings running very high that is hard to obtain
good luck to you... i know you care re your previous posts :)

.it's hard 2 accept and let go

wat will you do if it was ur dad or your girlfriend???????????? exactly think!!!!!!!!!!
letting go of someone and knowing that the person wont be there any longer will hurt

it sounds like the best and most reasonable thing in theory.. but in reality its a lot harder to actually let it go. and some ppl feel like it would ultimately their fault they died... and wonder at times if maybe he would have pulled thru if they just wouldnt have pulled the plug,.

It was really strange when my dad passed..Something told me to go see him right now. I'M glad I did..we were best friends..There is no way I could live with myself if I did something like that..Could be that maybe because I was raised Roman Catholic.Just don't have a good answer for ya.
Hoe this helped alittle..

The family are in denial and cannot accept death as the outcome. They will do anything just to keep the mortal body because they cannot let go. If they can see his body, they think he is still with them.
They cannot accept the ultimate death of the person they love and in the grieving stages. They will eventually move along to acceptance of his death and let him go. The relative is no longer fighting. The battle is over.
The family just cannot let go.
They cannot even begin to realize at this point all they are doing is prolonging his pain and suffering to fulfill their own needs.

Your question is NOT without validity. Of that I know for certain. My wife passed away 13 years ago due to a brain anurism. She was on life-support for only a few days. Yet there was no hope for recovery after surgery. To let her "go" was the most excruciating pain I have ever dealt with in my life. It was my decision, and mine alone, to stop the life-support. I would never wish anything like that even upon my worst enemy. I do not regret it, but, man, it hurt.

The best thing I can tell you is, set aside your personal beliefs about this and support your girl and her family. It is their decision. Also keep in mind that no matter what the circumstance, when death is inevitable, we can never really be prepared for it. When the time comes, they will suffer their loss. Be there for them.
My prayers are with you all.

My husband died from lung cancer. It is very hard to let someone go. When I had to tell him it was ok to go home it almost killed me literally. They don't want him to suffer but at the same time they aren't ready to let him go. I hated seeing my husband suffer. He was not on life support as his cancer took him very quickly. Be supportive of your girl and her family and accept their decisions. Her dad is most likely detached from everything that is going on around him but he can still hear them.Remember this is very hard for them and until you experience the same thing you have no idea what they are going through. Let them grieve in their own way. Someone will probably step in and talk to them about letting him go. They are holding on to hope for a miracle. It's the only thing they have to save this man that they love so much.

They are still in denial. Thats the only reason. Because I promise, if there is any brain activity at all, the person is aware on some level of whats going on. I know from literally first hand experience. My family was told to start preparing my post death arrangments and according to my living will that something had to be done. Luckily, I started improving before they pulled everything and I pulled out of it. But I NEVER want to go through that again. More than likely, on life support he wont die, not technically atleast because the machines are keeping his body alive.

They arent pulling the plug because of people like me, who make it through those things. If someone else made it through, why cant my loved one. And they can (although I would say its not likely in this case) but the family has no comprehension for what the patient is going through mentally, and what they will be going through if they do make it through.

Its not that they want to prolong the misery, but they still have that niave hope that all will be fine.

Its a very hard decision to make, even when you know its the want of the patient. Most people who have never had to seriously think about it for themselves (outside the hypothetical) or have never had to do it to someone else before cant do it.

This is one reason I push everyone to have a designated poa and that it should NOT be the person closest to you.

Although everyone鈥檚 answer is heartfelt and very supportive, your question was 鈥淲HY wouldn't you switch off the life support machine of someone you love?鈥?The only reasons I would not are:

If I knew my loved one would not want to be taken off.

If there was a possibility they could survive on their own.

If it was necessary in order to transplant their organs.

It is a very difficult situation to be in. There were about 10 of us present the night my grandmother died. When the doctor came to talk to us about what to do no one said a word. I knew what my grandmother wanted as she had told me and I knew she had it in writing in her GPs office so I told them to take her off life support. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I was very close to her and still miss her.

I felt a little guilt for having to be the one to say let her go and I felt anger toward my family for making me be the one to say it, but I guess everyone has to deal with this in their own way. So let your girlfriend and her family deal with it the best they can and just be there for them.

By the way, I found out later that other than my grandfather I was the only one my grandmother had talked to about this. I think it鈥檚 because she knew I would follow through even if I didn鈥檛 want to.

It's hard to do, but I too have had to make that decision jointly with my siblings.

It was because of this that after I was diagnosed with cancer I made a living will and instructed that i should not be kept alive in such a situation.

I believe we should have the right to die with dignity.

I don't understand your girlfriend's family either; but perhaps he made it clear he wanted to be kept alive in such circumstances, or perhaps they are waiting for a miracle that will never come. Just be there for her and support her. My best wishes to you and to them.

Hmmm, does he want to die? If he doesn't want to be taken off life-support, are you all crazy? Let the man fight! I don't care who accepts what, If I, the patient, want to live against all odds, I should be allowed to! That's just mean.

If he's still conscious and stuff...the minutes he still talks to his daughter are priceless. Who the h are u to want to take that away from them?